Thursday, December 30, 2010

Time Travel

History invokes various emotions in me. As a kid, with exams to write, I dreaded the subject because I could not understand the difference between Mahmood Gazni and Mahmood Ghaznavi. Years later, thanks to Wikipedia, I got to know they are the same, just called differently in different history text books. Without the phenomena called internet on my fingertips, it was all too much for my small brain to process.

Also, this particular emperor loved looting temples. He was the income tax officer of India in 11th century. Of course, we being Indians, as we are, whenever he would strike and loot a temple, we would always assume that this is the last time he's invaded and looted. But no, like the wild card entries in Bigg Boss house, he kept coming back and kept looting. Among many temples he looted, one was the Sun Temple at Modhera. The Wikipedia link to the temple is here. And other antics and conquests of the emperor could be found here.

Last week I had a chance to visit the Sun Temple and the moment I saw the temple (which is still standing tall and beautiful after all these years of torture), I knew I was a queen in my previous janam. I mean, I had to be a queen who lived in such awesome structures.
Just look at this ceiling, such architecture.. such intricate carvings.. so so so pretty! Such a perfect circle! And if it looks so pretty after a thousand years, I cant imagine how pretty it must have looked when it was newly constructed.

I was lost in thoughts wondering that at this very place, a crazy mughal emperor must've barged in, sitting on his animals and looted the place off its solid gold statues! Well, at least he had the sense to not to destroy the structure.

It was fascinating to see the step tank.. and the perfectly chiseled steps, which are perfect even today, after all these years! This structure has stood the test of time.. and passed it with flying colours! :p

Enlarge and read - it's in Hindi - a little history about the temple.. (or you could wikipedia it too.. :P And also read hte personal appeal by Jimmy Wales)

The structure is crumbling now.. after almost 1000 years.. though it is very much there, and makes me wonder, how will it be to visit the same place after a thousand years? :D

Perhaps, a thousand years hence, I will be a queen again. Till then, I will just hope a prince somewhere comes and sweeps me off my feet. (ok, no sweeping off the feet jokes)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Decade That Was

It just dawned upon me that the first decade of the century is coming to an end. It was quite an eventful decade. Not bad, not good, just eventful.

So this was the decade where I wrote my first board exams, and then, the exams never stopped, hell, even after all these years, i am still taking them. well, at least the good thing is, i don't get nervous about exams now - not a bead of sweat on my forehead before i appear for the first of the many papers. Damn, i remember my 10th board exams in march.. 12th march if i am not mistaken I had my English paper and I was wearing a pink lucknowi salwar kameez for that test. and that was in 2001. see my tez memory? faster than a computer!

Then my first day in new school.. when we had to change schools after 10th, and not knowing anyone there.. making new friends... and those adolescence crushes.. and receiving first ever 'proposal' which was refused in the most sincere way possible.. :) (dude, i was 16!!)

My first trip abroad, and travelling all alone from ahmedabad.. again at 16.. without any clue about a lot of things.. :) which was fun in its own way! :) that was the first stamp on my passport and will never be forgotten.. :) (though the passport is now cancelled after i got a new one after turning 18)

The first day at college.. where I was all excited but eventually all excitement fizzled out and I ended up cursing karan johar for creating a rosy picture of college in my mind when college is exactly the opposite! no cute guys in the class and they were all so lame! no cute seniors either! sigh, sad life at HLCC indeed.

Getting my driving licence. :)

Death of my grandmother. That's when i realised how important it is to tell people you love to let them know that you love them. It may be too late. She had a peculiar sandalwood smell on her.. she would do the pooja and do sandalwood tikas on statues of gods, and wipe off her hands on her saree.. so the smell would always remain with her.. even today, after almost 6 years also, i can still smell the sandalwood randomly.. at nights.. when i am watching tv.. it just comes and goes as if to remind me she's still around, guarding us.. watching us.. :)

The first time i voted. It felt good to be a responsible citizen and fulfilling the duty of casting the vote, though i wish that in general elections, advani was not the representative from my constituency, i don't like him! i knew i should've voted for the candidate with ice cream as a chunavchinha.. :)

My first day at Deloitte. Oh, god! How I was an object of everyone's curiosity, where people will pass by me, look at me from a distance, but not approach me and say hi or ask me for lunch! Such weird attitude they had.. but then, since i felt so awful on my first day at work (where I didn't pee for the whole day since i bloody didnt know where the friggin loo is), i made it a point to be friendly to all the newbies.. :) 20th June, 2007 will never be forgotten.. :)

My first audit assignment.. the first time we stayed up past midnight at work.. the first time i reached home at 3 am from office.. the first time we were stopped by policemen at 2 am and bags were checked for explosives (in their defence, there were blasts in ahmedabad just a week before) the first time i met with an accident on the way from office to home (at again 1:30 am) where my immediate boss was driving the car to drop us home.. the feeling that you could've been -><- this close to death! (though no injury happened to either of us, we were quite shaken up) the first outstation audit assignment.. :) it was all good fun.. :) of course, with that, i also remember my last day at deloitte.. :)

Of course, one cannot forget (and in my case, even forgive) all the heart breaks.. :) I am the wrong guy magnet.. always attracting the ones who are totally wrong for me. But i guess deep within i always knew that neither of them was The One. As I say, I think I am the female version of Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother. :) I still hope to find Mr Darcy.. somewhere.. :) (yea, so am obsessed with pride and prejudice - kill me!)

And then buying my own car (well, not completely, paid for it partly with the measly stipend i got.. rest was paid was dad.. but hey, i still contributed for it and it gives me immense pride in that.. :) )

And at the end of it, it has been a decade of meeting new people, forming new friends, losing some, but gaining a lot of love in return.. despite what people might say, i have made some very, very good friends through internet, and I love them dearly, and would wish to meet htem someday.. :) I know, in next decade, I will.. :)

Maybe, my next post should be what I want in the next decade.. what say.. ? :)

Monday, December 20, 2010

Year End Balance Sheet

So the year 2010 is coming to an end. Why? WHY is it getting over so early? It just started like little over 11 months ago! This is unfair! And it's so weird that I don't even remember how the year just flew by! I mean, other than writing a zillion exams, I hardly did anything significant this year!

Well, actually, i did! I did the awesome trip to Phuket and Bali with family which was like so awesome because it was first family trip in god-knows-how-many-years! And then, my association with Deloitte also came to an end.. after three painfully long years. I had these mixed feelings when I left because I was suddenly jobless with a depleting bank balance and nothing much to do. But i chose to use the time wisely by watching all episodes of How I Met Your Mother and Criminal Minds and so many romantic comedy movies. Oh and of course, repeats of Pride and Prejudice. I am so obsessed with Darcy that I try to find Darcy in every guy i meet, but most of them turn out to be jerks. Ah, well, but that's a different story.

In less than 2 months, I will complete 25 years of my existence and I am suddenly having my quarter life crisis where I dont see my career going anywhere and I feel tied down by so many things around and how i wish i could get a lottery for a zillion dollars and i can travel all around the world.. go to italy or spain.. or meet salman khan and express my undying love for him.. or go on a cross country road trip, all alone, driving all by myself and taking stops whenever i like and meeting interesting people, and then maybe write a book on my experiences.

somehow this has been a rather depressing year.. a year of heartbreaks and sad life that you get to know of your close friends' life through facebook status updates when the friend changes relationship status to "engaged" and to "married" and they dont even bother to tell you! Ah, well, those friends are then removed from the friends' list and phone numbers deleted from phonebook.

and then there were times when all i wanted to do was go to my favourite barista outlet and sit there for hours reading book and sipping coffee and observing people around and guessing whether they are friends or online-friend-meeting-for-first-time or a matrimonial set up (yea, that happens in barista here, i've seen it :D)

there are times when i feel that i am putting up an act of how happy things are.. but then, so are most people.. we rarely let our emotions known.. i think the more the person knows about me the more vulnerable i will be.. and the more he gets into my personal space, the more reasons he'll have to hurt me. at times, for the fear of being hurt, i don't let someone come very close to me.. but then, so are a lot of other people.. but at times, the way in which i hide emotions kind of scares me.. it makes me feel that i am not even true to myself.. maybe i am playing this dual role where i am in denial of a lot of things.. or like if i don't think about certain issues, they will just go away on their own, but now, i don't even know if they have gone away, because i have stopped addressing them, and i am too scared to address them now, i mean, what if they are still around? am i making sense?

so lets have an attendance call here, how many are still reading this incoherent monologue?

so as the year comes to an end, i want to just let go of a lot of things and start afresh.

gosh, this sounds all so cliched! argh!

no, i think i want to bring in the new year by doing something really awesome.. like doing something i've NEVER done before! :D let 2011 be a fun year! anyone has any ideas?

Monday, December 13, 2010


I don't remember the last time I visited a hill station. It's as if I had almost forgotten how a hill station looks like.

Last week we visited Coorg, Karnataka. It was also the first time I saw coffee and pepper plantations. And it was lovely. For a change, the drive was as much pleasant as the destination.

/rant begins

Drive reminds me, whats up with the drivers on the karnataka highway? I mean, they seem to be unaware of the thing called rules. Under normal circumstances, on the Gujarat highway, you'd see slow moving/heavy vehicles drive religiously on the left lane and the vehicles overtake only from teh right side. Well, in most cases at least. But in Karnataka, the slow moving/heavy vehicles "choose" a lane where they'll drive at a chosen speed limit too. So those who want to overtake, must zigzag their way around these monuments which seem to be racing amongst themselves at the speed of 2 kmph.

/rant ends

I can write a lot about the pretty, pretty, Abbey Falls (the walk up and down the pathway to the falls can test anyone's shaaririk kshamata) or the super awesome plantations where I thought I could spend days, but then decided I'll get bored of it pretty soon, or the elephant park, which I personally think is cruelty towards animals. I mean, I love elephants.. elephants are my favourite animal and I have a pillow in shape of an elephant too.. i find them incredibly cute and innocent. But elephants are essentially wild animals, and they belong in forests. Not in some random camp where they are "trained" to perform tricks like putting a garland in visitors' neck or playing football. Or even an elephant ride for that matter. I mean, its just cruelty to use animals for entertainment purposes like these. Of course, when you look around the farm and see the giant potty cakes of elephants, you thank god that elephants don't fly. Anyhoo, so to complete the sentence, I could write a lot about these things and sound like a tourism website or I can just say its a place worth visiting and talk about other stuff. :P

But then, I don't have much to say, except for the fact that a co passenger on my ahmedabad to bangalore flight got talking to me and man, he was weird. He was so so so so weird, but seemingly harmless guy. When i casually mentioned this to a friend, she reminded of the movie Taken and dammit, it scared me. It scared me a LOT. Sigh.

Anyway, today is my first day of complete joblessness. No exams to study for (at least at the moment), no office to go to, and basically, nothing much to do. Oh, and there is some kind of weird cold wave condition in ahmedabad and I am freeeeeeeezing. Dammit, its even colder then the hill station we visited. It is VERY cold here, really.

On the other hand, I am thinking I should start looking for a job. Wonder who will hire me.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Snap, Snap, Snap!

So today I decided I should look more human. I had been putting off a haircut for sometime only because, "i am home only, whats the point in getting a haircut" or "I'll get a haircut when I get a new job". But then, till I get myself a new job, I can't start looking like I have broom stuck on my head. Or ostrich feathers, for that matter.

So I went to this salon where I usually get my haircut. The lady at the reception asked me if I had anyone particular who I'd trust with my precious hair? I said, no one in particular, and hoped the woman who gave me particularly crooked haircut sometime back doesn't come. :P

So the guy who was the show off his talent on my hair was, well, had pierced ears, pierced eyebrows, hair coloured to a shade of copper, and very, very, very goodlooking. If only he didn't have those disgusting piercings and the peroxide shaded hair. And he started the most difficult conversation.

He : So what would you like to have?
Me : (chai, coffee?) Haircut.
He : Any particular style?
Me : No.
He : So what would you like to have?
Me : Umm, not too short.
He : Layers?
Me : No, just evenly trim the hair, but not too short.
He : When was the last time you got a haircut?
Me : 6 months back. (In my defense, DUDE, I was busy, busy doing nothing. :P)
He : You should get a haircut every 6 weeks.
Me : Yes. I know. (pointing to a guy in the corner) He told me the same thing last time.
He : What shampoo do you use?
Me : Pantene.
He : Use l'oreal. (no prizes for guessing I went to a l'oreal affiliated salon)
Me : Sure.

So today, the guy cutting my hair was very scissor-happy person. He must've helped me shed at least 100 grams weight. And every time his hands came near my nose/cheeks, there was a very peculiar smell. It was a good smell. :D Not the nicotine/gutkha smell. :P

So while I was there, I looked around, other women/men getting haircuts and other treatments. Some were having their hair straightened, while others were getting them coloured. Now, I dont understand the straight hair bit. They look so poker straight and don't have any kind of natural flow, don't go wild when wind gushes, how do women like these hair? I like my wavy hair, though I do complain a lot, but I still like my hair - at least they don't appear lifeless. (except on days when I haven't shampooed for like 4 days, like today morning)

And have you seen how they straighten their hair? It's like putting them on some aluminum foil and all - you have to hate your hair to undergo that!

And damn, all these things are so expensive! 6-10k for hair straightening, which last for like 6 months. So when your naturally curly hair grow back, you look like Veena Mallik in her just-woken-up look. Who has so much spare money for all this?

The other day, I went with my sister for a haircut, and the salon people tried to coax us into one such treatment. Hair bonding or something. So, out of curiosity, we took a package "menu" and left.

On our way home, I looked at it, it said,

Hair Rebonding : Rs. 8000
Bridal Package : Rs. 6000.

So, I said something to my sister which she believes is the funniest thing I said that day.

"wtf, 8k for hair rebonding and 6k for bridal package, i'd rather become a bride then."

Now, the incoherency level in the post is going up, so I will go now. I have to pack my bags as I leave for Bangalore tomorrow early morning. My mom is getting panic attacks that I have not yet started packing. I tell her I will do it after bigg boss ends at 10 pm, she had a mild heart attack at that. So I will go put some clothes on the bed so she feels I am packing :D I could have kept the packing for tomorrow morning also, but Mom would've sleep walked into my room and packed my bags herself, and put in my worst clothes. Hmph.

So, folks, see you guys later :D

Saturday, November 27, 2010


I am a total sucker for romantic comedies. I have grown up on a staple diet of yash chopra/karan johar/Suraj Barjatiya kind of movies and though I make fun of them, I still enjoy watching them for their grandness. The only actor who can still make me go weak in my knees is Salman Khan.

I have always wanted my life to have a hindi movie like feel to it. Rather, not just hindi movie, any romantic/romantic comedy movie. They are just so awesome. Of course, my all time crush on William Darcy (like every other girl who has read/seen Pride and Prejudice) makes me want to come across someone like Darcy. (unfortunately, no Darcy yet)

Talking about romantic movies, I saw Serendipity today again. The exasperation John feels when he is -><- this close to find Sara, and yet he can't find her makes me want to break into the screen and bring them together from the corner of the street and yell at them.

So, do we really come across people through chance encounters and can we really end up falling madly in love with them? I would want to believe it, but at the same time, the cynic in me tells me what a fool I am to begin with to expect fiction become reality for me. How I have hoped to meet the guy I had strong crush on, one time, just one time, and that has never happened.

There have been times when I have been in the same city (esp when I am in different city and the guy I have a crush on lives in another) as the guy, and hoped to just bump into him.. maybe at the airport, or at the movie theatre, or just randomly on the street. But that just does not happen. Of course, I could have called him then and we could have met up at a predecided time and a pre-decided place, but that isn't usually how things happen, because you see, when we are in the same city, at that precise time, we have had some sort of gross misunderstanding, and we haven't talked in weeks. So, all my hopes were entirely on chance.

So, what goes wrong? Don't they say that fiction needs inspiration from reality? Don't any of these things happen in real life to real people? Yes, so films are all larger than life and all that shit, but c'mon, in real life, don't we meet complete strangers who end up becoming a beautiful part of your life?

Has it ever happened to you?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Politics Vs. Media

It was in 2001 January when an earthquake of magnitute 7.6 to 8.1 on richter scale hit Gujarat. It was on the Republic Day, and my first thoughts were Pakistan fired some underground missile. What followed was a frenzy of sorts. I've never seen people around so frightened about their lives. People spent their nights on the roads, literally. Everyone was afraid of getting inside a multi-storied building. And why not? We Gujaratis were used to facing other calamities like riots and floods. But the feeling of land shaking beneath your feet was very scary. I was 15, then. I cried for 2 hours to get out of the shock.

Keshubhai Patel was the chief minister of Gujarat at that time. Now, I dont know much, but I once heard someone say that keshubhai is the most corrupt CM to ever come to power in Gujarat. He soon lost power and came Narendra Modi.

So with this Barkha Dutt/Niira Radia scandal that has recently errupted, I am now wondering the real motives behind media and their strong views against Modi.

Modi was in the first few months as a Chief Minister when the Godhra carnage took place. A train coming from Ayodhya was set to fire in Godhra, and people were burnt alive inside two compartments. By the time the train reached ahmedabad, the news of the incident spread very quickly. People were enraged. What followed was perhaps one of the worst riots in the history of Gujarat.

Also, at that time, Aaj Tak was recently launched. It was in its initial years and NDTV was its main competitior. If I remember correctly, NDTV had some agreement with Star news and they had just parted ways. So, NDTV, Star News and Aaj Tak were the all vying for attention.

They all got their main breakthrough with Godhra Riots. You see, it was much easier to get eyeballs when you show a burning bus, or a live coverage of mobs. The fearless reporters jump right in the middle of a crazy group of violent people and report live on how some men just gangraped a woman or set fire to a bakery. I wont be too surprised if they would have asked some of the mobsters their views, and 'aap kaisa mehsus kar rahe hain?'

So, who is responsible for this? The chief minister. Of course, even if the dog dies of rabies, the CM is personally liable for his death. So when hundreds of people (please understand, I am not saying Hindus or Muslims, loss of life is loss of life. period.) died, it is the chief minister who should be held responsible. For someone who lived in the city during its worst riots, I knew and felt that the riots were about 80 percent under control. The remaining 20 percent felt in the communially sensitive zone, where riots break out even on trivial issues like kite flying in Uttarayan.

Most non gujaratis I know hate Narendra Modi and call him modern day Hitler. Or as a certain Ms Gandhi called him Maut Ka Saudagar. Really?

So, no one had heard much about him before the riots, but suddenly, he was the muslim hater of teh world. Not just him, every other gujarati in the world was a muslim hater. They thought that there are two things us gujaratis can do instantaneously - break into a garba or break into a riot.

Javed Akhtar, I wonder if he knows about the muslim architecture and beautiful mosques in gujarat, at least knows something called Naroda Patia, and he never forgets to mention them in debates involving gujarat/Modi.

All this while, nobody realises that people know about it because the news channel kept showing it repeatedly. Whether the carnage or the aftermath of riots was politically motivated or not, is a different question, but it did get aggravated because of constant reruns on the news channel.

I have always been quite defensive about Modi and Gujarat, not because Modi is my personal hero, but he has been a good administrator, and the state has developed under his leadership. I can see the difference between pre modi gujarat and post modi gujarat. I just wish people would look beyond the riots and look at gujarat objectively.

These Barkha Dutt tapes have kind of shocked me. Not that I held her in high place, especially after the shabby way in which she has handled sensitive issues, but the fact that the sensational news htey show on tv is perhaps not just for the ratings. There is much more to it that what meets the eye.

News are not unbiased anymore. It's a sad state of Indian Politics and Indian media. I hope there is a brighter future to this madness. I hope people in power do not misuse it.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

2G or not 2G

No offence meant, but I have no idea what's the difference between DMK and AIADMK and like all other political parties in India, look as if they're handling shady deals. I always thought (and still think) the only difference is that one is run by Karunanidhi, who's been like a monument, looking the same way ever since my memory can recollect, and other is run by Jayalalitha. For those who don't know, Jaya is one of the two persons who can be spotten from the outer space. First one being the Dolly Bindra. In fact, she's even been mistaken for a Crop Circle, an alleged means by which the aliens communicate with us humans.

Suddenly everyone is talking about corruption. How its evil tentacles have reached everywhere. People say that we should say no to corruption, and how it all begins on a personal level, like giving a 20 rupees note to the traffic police guy just so he wont fine you for 100 rupees. Of course, the thought of not talking on phone or wearing seatbelt/helmet never crosses our minds. How important it was to make that call to your friend that you are reaching in 15 minutes, you see. I digress.

How many of us strongly believe that anything substantial will come out of the investigation in the mismanagement of funds in the 2G spectrum scam or CWG scam or IPL scam or even Satyam scam? CBI and C&AG will keep on giving in reports, but then what? And how do you know the reports are not doctored? If corruption is at all levels, how can we be sure that CBI and C&AG are clean? How can we know that they may come across something which they may not find substantial? I know how subordinates 'overlook' things when the boss asks you to. It may or may not be material, but the reports are subjective.

How does A Raja's resignation bring any change? Where will he bring back all the money?

At this time, I want to ask about the outcome of Bofors scandal and Fodder scam, oh, and the Taj corridor case? Mayawati's outrageous currency notes garland and the money she spends on erecting statues? Like, wtf? Why doesnt anyone ask them also?

I say, A Raja and co. should be sent to Rakhi Ka Insaaf, and let Rakhi do all the talking. Wonder if anyone will care if she drives one of these men to suicide.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Big Fight.

So the Big O arrives in India, and the media is going berserk. I am surprised how come no one has roped in Manish Malhotra for his expert comment on Michelle Obama's outfit.

So the Awesome Reporters Inc., got together to have a question-answer-hallucination session with the Obamas. Here is an excerpt of the same.

Oh, and riding on the success wave of CWG goofups, Suresh Kalmadi was roped in to welcome Obama and Awesome Reporters.

Zuresh Kalmadi : Once upon a time, there was a man named Christopher Columbus. He set sail to discover the awesome place called India, but ended up on the other side of teh world, and called it America. After hundreds of years of that eventful day, two people (along with thousands of security guards) have managed to cross the saat samundars and reach the land called India. Finally.

Today, on the pious occasion of Diwali, let me welcome the foreign phataka (smiles suggestively at Michelle) and his husband, Frock Obama. It gives me great pleasure to welcome them to the country which has rich politicians err.. culture.

With the peaceful couple, we also have the reporters from the various news channel who are very keen on asking questions to the couple, but have been slapped with restraining orders because of their awesomeness. We have with us, Rajat Sharma, Barkha Dutt, Rajdeep Sardesai and the one and only Astro Uncle.

(yells)I declare the games open.

Razat Sharma (RS) : Obamaji, aaj aap pehli baar bharatiya shauchalay mein gaye the, aap kaisa mehsus kar rahe hai?

Obama : Meh-who?

Just then, a crazy man looking like a cross between a walrus and a lizard comes running. His hair are all disheveled and one side of his glasses are broken and stuck together with a tape. He snatches the microphone from Obama and runs around the room shouting, "is mic pe sirf mera haqq hai".

Bharka Dutt (BD) : Security, please come and get Arnab, he is having one of his attacks. (to Obama) we've just checked him into the i-can't-stop-speaking rehab and he keeps running away. And you don't need to answer RS's questions - imagine, Rakhi Sawant once asked him to marry her. No one, not even himself takes him seriously. So, here I come to the question I am itching to ask you, how does your visit to India is going to affect the suicidal farmers in Vidarbha? Do you know how mumbai and delhi are cleaned up for your visit? Do you realise how the common man is deprived of his fun and frolic on Diwali because of you - it was because of YOUR visit that the fire crackers are banned - it's Diwali, the festival of light, and Mumbai is in a state of darkness only because YOU are here? Why couldn't you choose the next weekend? Or, was it because you wanted to prove a point on how powerful you are to shut down the celebrations of the most loved festival of the secular nation? Why did you not choose to come down during Christmas or Eid? Oh, adn you know, Suresh Kalmadi anagrams as Sir U Made Lakhs? *smirks*

Raj-dip Sardesai (RS2) : (to himself) sigh, why do you think I left the frigging news channel? She can drive anyone up the walls by questions that make no sense.

Obama : (looks around nervously)

Suresh Kalmadi : That's another Gold for India. I congratulate the organising committee. Next question please.

RS2 : Welcome to India, Mr. President.

Obama : (looking relieved that he finally got a chance to speak to a non-crazy person) Thank you. And Err.. Happy Diwali?

RS2 : Happy Diwali to you too. What are your views on news papers printing Mahendra Singh Dhoni and his wife splashing around in a beach? Is that invasion of privacy by media? Please watch out one hour debate on how intrusive media is. But we would like to know your views too.

BD : (to herself) why do you think we kicked him out? heh heh. That is not invasion of privacy. That is journalism. Invasion of privacy is when you ask an ex minister of state whether he has a girlfriend. (ref Shashi Tharoor)

Astro Uncle : jis waqt aapka plane land hua bharat mein, us waqt sitaron ki jo position thi, usse aapko bahaut hi labh hoga. Aapke sitare kehte hai ki aap ko yahan bahaut gyaan milne wala hai, aur yeh aapka nazaria badal dega.

Obama looks around the hall hoping against hopes for some sort of support.

Just then, a voice comes alive.

Bigg boss chahte hai ki Obama aur unki patni, is pagalkhane ka udghatan kare aur apni jaan bacha kar bhaage. Yeh bahaut hi khatarnaak log hai, aur inke saath rehna surakshit nahin.

The bewildered Obama couple run out of the place, and go back home with a different perspective about India. Astro Uncle was right.

Friday, November 5, 2010

The customary Diwali post

Every blog will have a Diwali post up today. Also, every twitter-er, even if he is not a regular on it, adn has to click on forgot password to retrive the password, will somehow manage to remember about it and tweet the Diwali wishes. He will also go about wishing the random celebs for diwali. Of course, everyone on facebook will have happy diwali message, and random diwali greetings where all and sundry on their friends list get tagged. No wonder I have so many people on limited profile.

Of course, Diwali also means arrival of the Lashkar E Foiba (foi is dad's sister in gujarati) so my aunt arrives from Surat. When we were young, she and her annoying two kids, would come with two bags full of fire crackers. Unfortunately, I have always been allergic to smoke, and we would always have exams right after diwali vacation (dammit, if I were to get 10 bucks for every exam paper i wrote, i'd be richer than mukesh ambani and have an anthill err.. antilla of my own.) Anyway, so my annoying cousins would burst those noisy bombs and I hated it. Perhaps I hated it because they didnt burst the pretty crackers which go up in the sky and burst into pretty showers. No, these were plain and simple loud bombs.

The the day after Diwali is the new year. The new Vikram Samvat year sets and and that means, all the gujaratis go to their relatives place, especially elders and pay their respects. When I was younger, we'd leave our house at 10ish, and come back by 4ish, and then, other relatives will come over at my place to pay respect do my grandma and all. So it was a day where we just met people, bowed down to htem adn take blessings and money. There was this old relative of mine, who was so rich, but would give us all only FIVE rupees as Diwali bohni. WTF. Now, of course, things have changed, I go to only three houses, my naani and my aunts. I don't go to my parents' aunts and uncles places because I don't quite like them. :P

But the best part of Diwali, which I really like is awesome food, diyas, and rangoli. I'll be doing the rangoli tomorrow, so that will come up later, but rangoli is one thing I really look forward to.

We also have Puja on Chaudas and Diwali. Chaudas is a family puja which is a private affair, and no one else can participate either in the puja or even have the prasad. It's one of my favourite pujas of all times. :D But then, yesterday was also a cousin's birthday. His crazy wife, who's way too far from reality (in matters which I will elaborate in detail some other day) threw him a surprise party. Well, it did turn up to be a surprise for me. It was at this lounge in the multiplex in the city. When I entered the place, an hour after the appointed time (oh, dude, I had puja to attend to, and I had told the host beforehand of my late entry) the whole multiplex complex was devoid of any human being. Only person you could find was this security guard who asked me if I came for a party. It sounded so shady, i almost wanted to turn around and run away. I asked him if the place is shut down, he said, party is on third floor. I've never seen this place look so creepy before. So as I walked alone till third floor, I went into this dimly lit room, which was once a hookah bar (as informed by my well informed younger cousin, and it serves only mocktails, but cocktails to people who are regular here - TMI, i tell you) and as my eyes tried to adjust to the surroundings, I heard a very loud, "ARE YOU WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". WTF. So they had a "DJ" who played 'peppy' numbers where my cousins and their friends danced. Now, the last time I felt so uncomfortable with so many people was when an elephant splashed water all over me in a zoo in singapore. So, to save myself from being dragged on to the 'dance floor' I took up the most awesomest job ever - photography. I started clicking random photos, and so, the narcissist janta who loved getting photos clicked, left me alone.

An hour into the party, just when the party was getting all happening, I left. I needed some fresh air. Right. Looking for a fresh air on Diwali is like waiting for Arnab Goswami to shut up. The whole city smelt of gunpowder. I went for a drive towards the greener Gandhingar. Sigh. At times I feel I am so weird that I not only do I not like anyone, but am sure nobody likes me either. Except the crazy surd boy who asked me to be his girlfriend when I was in 11th standard. Sigh.

And then, today morning, I woke up with a slight fever. Its not a good feeling, this fever. Because with exams just 2 days away, I dont want to take chances. I want these to be the last exams I take. :D

On that note, I shall go. Foreign Exchange Management Act is waiting to thrill me.

So on this Diwali, go burst all the crackers you want - global warming can go take a dive in the ice it is melting. We're all going to die anyway. :P

Monday, November 1, 2010

How to know you are on Emotional Atyachaar

If you look around, everyone is suddenly talking about relationship, relationship status (its complicated being a very popular relationship status on facebook - most people thing that its cool to be in a relationship which you are not sure of), loyalty and mother of all - 'loyalty test'.

If you have seen the show on bindaas, you will realise that the only thing worse than this show is perhaps Rakhi Ka Insaaf, where her royal foolishness is screaming and shouting and giving insaaf to raddiwala guy whose wife ran away, and where audience chants "Rakhi, Rakhi" whenever she makes a ridiculous remark and laughs to herself. Please youtube the videos.

Anyway, I digress.

So I am talking about Emotional Atyachaar on Bindaas tv. I don't want to get on all personal and privacy issues - like, your relationship is a private thing and how it is foolish to get it telecast on national tv. But, here are the pointers on how you could be on Emotional Atyachaar, either as a 'lead' or as a 'suspect' or as a 'undercover agent'.

How to know you are a lead?

1. You are a delusional girlfriend/boyfriend. Delusional because you *think* you are in a committed relationship with someone you know for past four months and you are friggin 20 year old *AND* you want to get a loyalty test done.

2. You are highly insecure person. Now, if you closely observe the pattern of the leads in their introductional video, you'll see how they always 'i pray that you come out clean' or 'i know you will come out clean, i am doing it to prove everyone wrong'. R-I-G-H-T.

3. You are way far from reality. You actually believe that the guy who takes kasam about his not-yet-born-and-never-will child. And you get all sad and cry your heart out when he talks about teh same not-yet-born-and-never-will child with some random chick. "woh mera bachcha tha" you cry. WTF. It's hard to believe such people exist, but then, i know quite a few people like that in my real life to accept that such people actually do exist. I have a friend who once famously said, "main usko barbaad kar dungi' after her imaginary boyfriend "dumped" her. Anyway, so you get the gist.

How to know you are a suspect?

1. You have a delusional girlfriend/boyfriend. And you are still with her/him because you suffer from tremendous amount of inferiority complex.

2. You suddenly start getting too much attention from the member of the opposite sex. Apparently, you fall for the trap because you are such a fool not to see that the other person is not interested in you. (please watch an episode of Lie to Me to see subtle signs of body language. on seconds thoughts, no, the show is crap) Anyway, so you are so stupid not to doubt the person showering too much attention on you in two days of knowing you and you feel that he/she is smitten by you. Dude, it seems that not just your girlfriend/boyfriend, but even you are delusional.

3. The person showering you too much attention has a friend whose apartment is empty. Or an uncle who has an awesome farmhouse some two hour away from the city. Oh, and you get picked up (in most cases) in a car, which is not driven by the peron. :P You'd be a fool not to notice things like that. Jeez, are people really so stupid?

How to know you are an undercover agent?

Well, there are no pointers for this, but here's the thing. You are an undercover agent if :

1. You are an aspiring model/actor and you are quite ugly. But you are also delusional about you being the prettiest thing to have walked on the face of earth. Jeez, too many delusional people on the show.

2. You are an out of work model/actor and this 30 minutes are your only claim to fame. Next time, you could try for Rakhi/Rahul Mahajan ka swayamvar part 2.

3. You are a reality show contestant yourself, and think that you should be a model/actor.

Jeez. This is such a crap show and the participants are all so full of crap themselves, just goes out to show the maturity level of the current generation. I feel bad for these losers.

On a totally unrelated note, Diwali is here, and as a Diwali gift for myself, I will buy myself a guitar, (after exams) and learn it myself. So the guys who invented guitar, would've learnt to play it themselves too, right? And if I can teach myself the Income Tax laws, I am sure, guitar would be a piece of an awesome cake. :D

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Things that make me smile # 1

So I am inspired by couple of website like and I kind of realised I was being way too cynical for my own good.

I have decided to make a list of things that make me smile and generally make me happy. That way, when I feel low, I can go through them and feel happy again! :) And considering my history with mood swings, I think it is an awesome idea! :D

So let us start with the first thing today.

Calvin And Hobbes.

Unfortunately, the examiners at my CA exams lack, what people calls, sense of humour, this will not really work in my favour. But if you ever had a chance to look at the question papers they set, you will realise that they have quite a sadistic sense of humour.

But, something like this might not be a bad idea when asked to interpret one of those lousy income tax laws and company laws! :D

So yes, Calvin and Hobbes make me smile every single time I read them. One of my most priced possession is the entire collection of calvin and hobbes which i got for little less than 7,000 rupees. :P My dad still doesnt get it why would anyone spend so much on comics! :)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

If you have extra, give it to me!

So everyone is talking about the billion dollar home of Mukesh Ambani - Antilia in Mumbai.

So much that it has its own wikipedia entry.

I have a few questions to ask him, though:

1. What you have constructed there is more like a Black and Scholes Mathematical Model - part ugly, part beautiful. Only in your case, this building is a little bit more on the uglier side. Who gave you the idea? Were you drunk on petroleum when you approved the design?

2. I don't want to get into the moral thingies like how many hungry the amount you spend on that would've fed, but honestly, do you think this is actually worth it? I mean, it doesn't have trees! And those indoor/hanging gardens could not be considered. The way you might've climbed trees in the ancestral village, will your grandchildren even know what a tree is? Oh, wait, will you show them on the big screen of your mini theatre. You'll still not have crazy peacocks dancing in your backyard, because you *wont* have a backyard.

3. How will you keep lizards away from your mansion? If you have a sureshot solution, please contact me on the mail address in the profile. No spam, please.

4. Your parking place has space for 160 cars. And you also have a helipad. Why did you leave your planes away? Won't they feel left out? Why didn't you build a hangar for your aircraft also? Am sure you could've easily got a few more floors for it.

5. Will you be using a Tata Nano car to move around in your house? It seems like quite a good idea to me. It will fit in your elevators, too. After all, covering the whole house on foot will be quite a task, and am sure wont be able to finish it off in one day! :p

6. How many hours in a day are you going to actually spend in your home that you spent so much on it? Or was it your ego?

7. Have you planned how will you divide your property between your kids? Once bitten, twice shy. Am sure you know how hard it can be for brothers who are at war over property - you've had first hand experience! And am also sure that your kids would be smart enough to learn from your mistakes. But on second thoughts, your this residential property will stand tall like it is for years to come - because *no one* wants to buy ugly houses.

Sigh, I could actually go on and on about whining about the ugliness of your new house, but I must stop it here, because here comes the most important question, if you have so much extra money to spend on something like that, how about giving some of it to me. Then I can go and get myself the new phone and camera I've been eyeing and also a couple of extra million rupees in my bank account wont hurt... :)

ps - I'll take care of the taxes - after all, I am the shattered accountant in the making.

*dramatic exit*

Monday, October 18, 2010

Good Vs. Evil

So the country celebrated Dushera yesterday. The victory of good over evil. Ram, the good, fought and won over Ravan. Of the many gods, Ram is one of my least favourite gods. Anyone who disrespects woman, is not my favourite, not even if it is God and even if it was all symbolic mumbo jumbo. No wonder, he had to reborn as Krishna to make good of his mistakes.

Also, like the character of Karna from Mahabharat, I am always partial towards Ravan. Of course he was a rakshas, and like many generalisations, like all gujaratis break into garbas randomly, rakshasas are always potrayed as scary men with/without horns and generally someone who could give the Great Khali a run for his money.

But I think Ravan is also one of the most misunderstood men. He was quite a scholar, and his symbolic ten heads is for his knowledge, which was in such abundance that one head wasn't enough! And since he was a part Brahmin, I think I might have some familial ties with him... maybe he was somehow related to me.. :D

And what wrong did he do anyway? Kidnap Sita? But, she was kidnapped because she had a crazy man like Ram as husband and Lakshman as brother in law, who went about chopping off noses of scary looking women like Soorpankha, in the forest.

And Sita, who was perhaps hallucinating when she saw something like a golden deer, and Ram went off to search for it, needed a shrink, more than anything. C'mon, living like that in forest could do things you couldn't even dream of. I think Ravan kind of kidnapped Sita just so she could stay around more people and that could help her recover.

But keeping all the mythology things aside, as talking about Ram and things/places associated with him is like treading on sensitive grounds, lets talk about the symbolic good and evil.

What is good and what is evil? We're all good and we're all evil. I am evil to that baby cockroach which I killed in the morning, and that lizard is an evil to me which gives me sleepless nights if it enters my bedroom. All I am saying is that good and evil is quite a subjective matter, and more often than not, all in our minds.

So yesterday when a tv news channel announced as they showed live Ravan Dahan from some maidan in Delhi, 'Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, Desh ke mukhiya, ne Raavan Dahan kiya, isse hamare desh mein se jo bhi buraiya hai, uspe humein jeet mile'. Right, first off, if that were true, that news channel would've been shut instantly. So we all talk about the 'bad'ness in the society. Corruption, caste system, poverty, violence, crime against women and children, etc.

Who commits these crimes? Who infects the 'society'? People do. We choose to overlook the evil, if it does not affect us. But before we start cleansing the society at large, we first need to cleanse ourselves. Get rid of negative thoughts from your mind, and rest of the things will fall into place.

Now, though I don't quite agree with the metaphors used, one line from the Raam Leela song from Swades which is very memorable is,

"Mann se Raavan jo nikaale, Raam uske mann mein hai".

So in this festive season, cleanse your souls. Mental floss will help prevent moral decay! :)

Disclaimer : no offence meant to any religion. Please don't burn my effigies on the roads - that will create air pollution.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Cooking Lessons 1

So I decided to make Rajma for dinner tonight. You can easily find out the recipe from the internet and so I am not going to repeat it here. Also, I've altered it a bit because I forgot the sequence of ingredients to be put into the pan, but then again, since it turned out to be awesome, I concluded that I am definitely a good cook.

But as they say, everyday there is a new lesson to be learnt. I have learnt a few things today. No, none of that learnn from water how to blend into surroundings and learn from mustard seeds how to be small but powerful. No, none of this school assembly shit. What I have actually learnt are some awesomely important lessons, like :

1. It is insanely difficult to get rid of garlic smell from your fingers. Wash your hands repeatedly with dettol to get rid of the smell. Your hands will smell all hospital-y, but at least, you wont smell of garlic.

2. Crushing green chillies, garlic and ginger together is an awesome idea. But after using your hands to clear off the mixture, wash your hands thoroughly (read repeatedly with dettol) before rubbing your eyes with the same fingers. Trust me, you do not want to experience that. ow.

3. Always have your mom nearby. Only she knows where the ingredients are. So when you run out of some masala in the middle of your cooking, refill is just a yell away. Mothers are also a peculiar character. They have this feeling of ownership to the kitchen and feel threatened by your presence in the kitchen, and may try all sort of tactics to discourage you, be strong. You are up against a powerful force, but patience is all that is needed. Remember, you might be in her place someday.

Thats all in the cooking class today, more later! :D I'm going off to gobble down what I've cooked :D

Monday, October 11, 2010

Navratri Blah Blah

So the festival season is on. I am one of those loserly persons who doesn't find the festivals exciting. For me, festivals mean crazy traffic even at midnight, excessive use of loud speakers which play lame filmy songs, giant insects which appear out of nowhere to find their way right inside your clothes even before you have time to react, and basically, too much chaos.

Now a lot of people love this chaos of Navratri. Those who like all this madness wait for the whole year just so they can dance themselves silly in these 9 nights. For a lot of people they not only match steps during these nights, but also end up finding their match! When we were in school, our crazy principals used to give us lectures and Dos and Don'ts during Navratri. One of their favourite gyaanline was "Your dancing partner is not your life partner". Whenever she would utter these pearls of wisdom, the 14 year olds would giggle. Sigh.

Also, it is eve teasers haven. On seeing pretty women in backless cholis they all feel that htey have died and reached heaven. But in Amdavad, I think the eve teasers aren't bold enough to go on a groping rampage. Not taht I am complaining.

But somehow, getting dressed up is just not me. I hate to put my feet in the grass/ground because, well, they get dirty, and I don't like that feeling. I don't like the jewellery. The necklaces and all - they kind of suffocate me. So, I am the kind of person who wouuld prefer doing garba in trackpants and t-shirt, wearing sneakers (with socks).

But, having said that, I would really like to go out for a midnight drive, have a cup of chai and maska bun, or go to manekchowk in the old city and have their pav bhaji and experience teh vibrancy of the place at midnight.

So, anyone out there in Ahmedabad? :)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Open Letter to Rahul Gandhi

Dear Rahul Gandhi,

How are you? Let me first compliment you. You are one of the few good looking politicians of our country - there I feel so much better now! :D

Though its a different thing that you are a politician by default because of the surname you have, and you also chose to be with Congress. What has happened to your cousin, Varun is quite depressing because he was a silly boy. He got into wrong party at a wrong time. Because, if you look at it, you both have such big mouths that you could put both your feet into your mouth and still have enough space to accomodate this too

Anyhoo. Now, I understand that Narendra Modi isn't one of your favourite persons in the world, and trust me, the feeling must be mutual. But you have to accept that that man can beat you in debate anyday.

But next time you say something like calling Rashtriya Samajsewa Sangh, fanatic organisation like SIMI (not to be mistaken for Simi Garewal - hehe), you'd better do some research to save yourself the embarrassment. Not that I am an RSS supporter or even care two hoots about them.

All I am saying is, that if you want to be popular in Gujarat, you'll have to try new tricks. You cannot point fingers at Narendra Modi and get away with that - people here love him way too much than a lot of people who hate him. Bet half the people come to the gatherings you address only to see how you look like in person. Not necessarily because they support you. Like c'mon, even I would attend your public address only to see if you are half as good looking as you are in your photographs! :D

Because, trust me, going by the history of congress leaders in Gujarat, people would rather go for a crazy Hindu motormouth leader than people like Shankarsinh Vaghela, who was also a part of BJP once, but I aint a big fan of him.

Gujarat has not had a stable Congress CM since 95 onwards, of which 9 years Gujarat has been ruled by Narendra Modi. One of the few people to hold a stable government. So, you cannot beat his popularity. Putting him down will only be a point in his favour.

To win hearts in Gujarat, you dont need to put others down - or tell what you will do - but for a change, let people do good, and also be generally nice. Yes, I know Modi can get too much at times, and his comebacks are quite tempting, but do learn the pranayam technique of breathing - you'll feel better. :)

Oh, and next time you visit Ahmedabad, how about giving me a call? :D I can give you so much more gyaan then! :D
Till then,

Good luck,

Nirwa Mehta,

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Bigg Boss Season 4

One of the prime reasons for me to watch Bigg Boss is Salman Khan - that's because - the guy does not know the existence of the word "politically correct". Whether his scripts are scripted or not, he comes across very spontaneous and awesomely adorable.

Now, I have always maintained that the season one participants were the best - because of obvious reasons. Rakhi Sawant created a new God called Jhejhus and her super drama when some guy ground garlic in her tea mug. The way she rolled over the floor crying makes me smile whenever I am in a sad situation. :P Needless to say, I have actively followed her show - Rakhi Ka Swayamvar and I was so inpired that I thought of having my own swayamvar too - that wouldn't be such a bad idea! I mean, if douchebags like Rakhi and Rahul Mahajan can have contenders willing to marry them, I am sure I will find someone too. Now, that would be so awesome. I digress.

So coming back to Bigg Boss season four. My immediate thoughts on the show are like this:

1. I have become a fan of Seema Parihar. I mean, she is a formar daaku. How many of us have seen a daaku before? And I would be actually scared to be around her - she does look menacing. Oh, and the way her eyes looked around whever people nominated her - my god, bet even Rahul Bhatt pissed in his pants! And all those who've nominated her - they think she will not come out adn see the episodes? Dude, they are all dead now! :P

2. Ashmit Patel is here to clear his name from the MMS scandal. Yeah, right. And he says that 'woh mera pyaar thi'. Double, yeah, right. Btw, Manoj Tiwari, you fool, the woman in question was Riya Sen, aka Donald Duck of Indian Cinema. As salman rightly pointed out, he cried. The very first day, and everyone around consoled him. Retards, all of them.

3. That lawyer dude. Now, he is Kasab's lawyer and states clearly that the court had appointed him. Thinks he's the wisest of everyone present and acts like the grand daddy of them all. Next week, its his turn to go out.

4. Davinder Singh aka bunty chor - oye lucky, lucky oye! right, with all the abuses he hurled towards BB4, he is evicted. I think he was just scandalised that he would have to live with Seema Parihar and that Begam man/woman and that scared the shit out of him and chose this way to get out of the place before he goes mad.

5. Rahul Bhatt - I have saved the best for the last. Last year, my favourite contestant was Kamal R Khan, the Deshdrohi superhero. For obvious reasons - he was the only entertaining person around. And the fact that he even enacted some of his movie scenes so sincerly shows how he geniunely thinks he is awesome. Rahul Bhatt, I would say, is the muscular version of KRK. He also is the missing link between apes and humans. Those bulging muscles - ew, so so so gross! I am almost tempted to go and pierce a needle to see if he deflates! Or next year, at IPL, instead of MRF Blimp, we could float Rahul Bhatt. I can totally see that Rahul will showoff his dudeness by roaming around the house topless to show off his muscles, which he obviously thinks are sexy. *pukes*

In other news, the commonwealth games opening ceremony was awesome - much pride came when the indian contingent walked in the stadium, cheered adn clapped loudly even when i was alone! :D And kalmadi - is it just me or anyone else also think that he address delhi CM as Mr. Sheila Dixit? :P And I am not even mentioning Abdul Kalam Azad here. Oh, and the pinky pink Prince Charles and the expressionless prez and MMS.

Anyhoo - more fun to be coming over the next 3 months till BB4 is on! :) More updates, later!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Adding spice to the life!

When I first started blogging a few years back, blogger was still not a part of google. Back then I had a lot to talk about - my everyday life, my college, the weird dudes in my class, the crazy professors.. now suddenly, everything seems too insignificant. Its as if suddenly I feel that there is nothing new happening in my life.

So I thought of making a list of things that should happen in my life to make it more interesting.

1. Find myself a stalker.

How cool would that be. I've never had a stalker before. Of course, that will come with a few conditions - a. he should be goodlooking b. he should have a sense of humour c. he should not be having paan stained teeth. Now that would be so awesome. Of course, he wouldn't be a creep either. These days I keep a look out for anyone suspicious lurking outside my house. You never know! :P

2. Become a profiler.

Yes, so a lot of criminal minds watching happening at my end. I have started profiling everyone around and am going a bit of a crazy myself. I even start profiling the crazy drivers on the road who break traffic signals and overtake from wrong side - 'the unsub has little or no respect for law and will not hesitate before breaking rules'. btw, the character of derek morgan (shemar moore) - he's so so so hot!

3. Become a chef/Start a restaurant.

Yea, am discovering this side of mine - and I must say I am quite a decent cook too! Tomorrow also I will be making a subji from a recipe by a friend. If it turns out well, will post details about it! :D Also, watching the firangs cook indian food on travel and living (now TLC) makes me heart ache!! such absurd proportions of spices! Bet they wouldnt be able to put one spoonful of it in their mouths! foolish people! and as regards to opening restaurant, its just taht I dont have much money with me! :P So that plan could be put on hold for the time being!

4. Become a lecturer.

Generally. Not the academic subject lecturer, but a motivational speaker. I attended a few of them on some random people's insistence, and I realised I can speak so much better than these jerks! And tell me, who would you much rather prefer, an old man with weird markings on his forehead wearing skimpy and shady outfits, or a cute girl with a smile on her face?

5. Join politics.

So the municipal corporation elections are coming up in Ahmedabad. I just got to know that 2 of the candidates are missing and abduction is suspected. What a thrilling life. But thats not the only reason I want to become a politician. I want to become one so that in next election, if that fool advani is still alive and wants to contest from his constituency Gandhinagar (thats my constituency too) he has some awesome competition! :D And hten, maybe I could also get to meet Shashi Tharoor and induce him to leave that pushkar woman, or even better, ask either of his twin sons to marry me! :D :D I know, quite manupulative I am!

Enough of all this now - time to give the laptop some rest - will watch yet another episode of criminal minds before I sleep!

Maybe I should address my Dad as "UNSUB" from now! LOL! His expressions would be priceless, since he wouldnt have any idea what I am talking about! hahahaha!

I love my evil mind! :P

Monday, August 30, 2010


So I kind of feel weird. I think I am turning into one of those persons who scare away people from their lives.

Never have I felt this strongly about something. Something I badly wish would happen. Something I think of every night before I go to sleep. It just makes me feel weird knowing that we'll be in same city (a third, not being the city we normally reside in) and yet not meeting.

I just wish it would so happen that a miracle happens and we talk.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Fake Encounters

So with my articleship (internship) of 3 year with Deloitte over, I have vowed not to be a glorified proofreader. Yea, yea, so the purists will argue how auditing is an art, and how they get to learn new things in it and how they never get bored of it, well, good for you. *smirks*

With the 3 years vanvaas of mine over, I intend to be a lot more active here.

I think there are few thing fundamentally wrong with us Indians. Whatever issue comes up, we always want to be the devil's advocate. So when Kasav/Kasab is kept alive in high security jails, we want to question the government why is he not hanged yet. When he is given a death sentence, we want to raise questions about capital punishments and human rights. Decide, people.

So when an alleged criminal is killed in an alleged fake encounter, instead of asking a highly obvious question whether the late dude in question was involved in any crime, everyone is busy asking questions why was he killed. Jeez. So, just because he was muslim, and he was killed by hindu cops, there is some foul play involved. How convenient, right? How come no one considers a possibility of him being an actual criminal, and just because he was not caught red handed from the attack site in Mumbai, with hand grenades and other ammunition on him, he has to be innocent.

Which makes me wonder, how would people react if Kasav was killed in similar fashion? Or maybe we should wait till young innocent men take up guns, kill a few people or hijack a plane, before any kind of action is taken.

I am not justifying the "fake encounter" here, but arent we all focussing on the wrong thing?


Other than that, I am enjoying my new found joblessness. I could write thesis on how I spent my last 3 years, but since i have not yet received my stipend of the month of July, I shall refrain and fight all my urges to diss the organisation. :D

Till next time,


Monday, May 10, 2010

Sue the Parents!

No, not my parents, though, I have been tempted to sue them for naming me Nirwa, which a lot of people pronounce wrongly, and a lot of people address me as Nirav - a guy's name, when i am but a girl, but right now, i want to sue those parents who allow their little children to be participants in these reality shows.

Now, when I was a little girl, I wanted to participate in Boogie Woogie, the dance based show on sony. I believed I was supremely talented and how I could win the show hands down. Thankfully, better sense prevailed over my parents, who knew deep down I could not dance to save my life, even if I was caught in a 'naach basanti, jab tak tere pair chalenge, iski saansein chalengi' situation. Veeru, then would've died of shock with the mere images of me dancing. I digress.

Now, had my parents been the kinds who do not see any fault in their children, and think that their kid is the bestest performer ever, need to do some reality check. I know it sounds harsh, and how kids are supposed to be innocent, but then, such shows actually kill their innocence. Being rejected on television, where their cruel school friends would see and later on make fun of. Not every child is brave enough, and c'mon, they're children, let them be!

And then, there's this Vindoo Dara Singh who's one of the judges. I would die before i let my kid judged by a giantass creep like him! And then the parents, whose children get selected for next round are all crying as if the child has won the national award of some sorts. Absolute wtfness it is.

And if anyone of my old readers are wondering why am i back with this name, well, i am back. enough of hiding my real identity. what or who was i afraid of? and why? let the gyaan be available to all! :P

And this blog, is now final.