Monday, September 29, 2014

Hope and Regret

Hope is the single largest contributing factor to regret.  The more hope you have, the more regrets it leads to.

Like, wanting something so bad that you hope to achieve it. You go out of your comfort zone to make things happen and then they don't. Because it was just you wishing for it.

And the regret that you wish you hadn't gone out of your comfort zone.

Or the other way round. If you do not go out of your comfort zone, to make things happen, the regret that you wish you had taken that one step to fight for what you truly believe in and get it.

I am not sure which regret is worse.

I am inclined towards the latter. The former, it was just the free will of other beings involved which didn't make things happen. At least I will not regret I did not do anything.

But the latter.  How do you live with the regret for the rest of your life.  That some thing was so close to attainment and you just let it slip away because you were afraid of getting out of your comfort zone?

Isn't life what happens out of the comfort zone?

What stops us from giving ourselves that one chance that we truly deserve? Of course, the omnipresent fear of failure.

So, basically, we spend the rest of our lives in hopes and regrets because of fear of failures.

No wonder many a love stories never took off because of fear of failure.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Why this WhatsApp forwarded message made me laugh like a maniac.

So I usually don't care much about forwarded messages.  Especially when they are part of my family group. Most are sexist jokes and I do not find them funny, but ever since I reached the zen state of mind where I give up trying to correct other individuals and accepting their stupidity as a lesson for their karma, I have been happier.

But then, today morning this forwarded message caught my attention (and for a brief moment, I was tempted to roll back up and read other forwarded messages to get my dose of daily laughter (omg, the dosage has gone up, I laugh way more than I thought I could - expecting my cheeks to develop 8 pack abs any moment) but then better sense prevailed).

Anyhooooo. Coming back.

So, this forwarded message made me laugh on various levels.  Firstly, the joke is kinda funny. Not because the lady thinks her tongue is the shatra, but that she was putting kumkum-chawal on it. I almost had an image of a ferocious lady (looking verrrrmuch similar to Lashkar E Foiba, who incidentally forwarded this message) put the said objects on her tongue. OMG. It is howlarious. You have to know my aunt and my entire extended family to know why this is insanely hilarious.

I do not hate my family, ok? I am allowed to make fun of them because I am related to them. At least I am not sitting in a corner and plotting to murder them, unlike my criminally inclined psychotic nephew, who already has blueprint of getting me killed in his head. (no, seriously, if anything were to happen, please to point needle of suspicion towards him, but then in all possibilities I will rise from the ashes like a phoenix because I am awesome like that even in death.)

Anyway, so this particular joke - there is a pumpkin in it. Please to explain why. I mean, I like putting random emojis too, and omg, is that why I find it funny? because of the stupid random emoji placement I can so well relate to? OMG. I AM WARMING UP TO MY FAMILY!

So, a pumpkin. In a joke about Parshuram Jayanti. I have no idea why this is funny, but it is.

Then there's a bug. It has no reason to be there, but it is still there - and then people ask me why I append the snake emoji at the end of messages/tweets.

There is also paw prints. I DID NOT KNOW PARSHURAM WAS A DOG LOVER! OMG.

I know I started trying to decipher why this whatsapp forwarded message is funny, but then, I digressed midway - like always - and now I do not know what to say anymore.

OMG. I am so so so tempted to scroll up and find other gems, but must. control.

In other news, it is Monday today. Almost 7 days to next Monday. OMG.

Hi. #Hi #HIGH

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Welcome to Ahmedabad, Xi!

Dear President,

Welcome to Ahmedabad.  I am glad you chose to visit the lovely city of Ahmedabad.  It looks lovely today, especially the routes you will be taking.  Actually, just the routes you will be taking.

The hotel you are staying at, right next to it, is a very narrow lane. (fun fact: the lane was once home to a giant goat who loved to chew tobacco.) The lane is usually so congested, today it will be shut down completely.  Even though you will not take the narrow lane (because we have six lane flyovers in the city, why would you take a single lane narrow gully).

The lake right across your hotel - it is usually full of people and activity - the food stalls around the lane serve some of the best food.  Too bad you won't be able to either see how we Amdavadis find joy in simple pani puri and or even taste it for that matter.  You see, you will be fed traditional Gujarati food (and you must hope that it is not altered to suit to your Chinese taste buds as Chinese food is altered to suit our taste buds).

The Riverfront where you and your delegation will meet the who's who of Indian corporates is next to the Sabarmati river.  The river, on an average day, stinks.  It also has floating garbage which is at various stages of decay.  Today, it is clean.  Maybe next time, you could visit the holy city of Varanasi.

Also, talking of the Riverfront, please notice those statues of flamingos, asiatic lions and one mystery animal which I think looks like a donkey, but could be a nilgai.  It is the proof how we Gujaratis live in harmony with nature. (also, as I write this I realise I live like some 300 kms from the lions and omg, that is so awesome. )

We Amdavadis, however, are very glad you have come down.  The roads are re-carpeted. Some of them, at least.  It has made us believe that the roads which are ruined overnight in a few hours of rain (or sometimes mysteriously even though there are no rains, like really, how does it work - the roads getting damaged - who steals away the excavated part in the pot hole? how can it magically disappear?) can also be repaired overnight.

That Gujarat has the magical ability of developing nice roads overnight.  I always knew we were awesome like that.  Wish we knew how to get things done, though.

Oh, and while you are at it, do understand that your country has kind of - sort of ruined some of our local businesses, like ceramic industry, because the CNG prices in the state are so high, and the fuel cost increases the cost of production, forcing a lot of small units to shut down.  Gujarat manufactures about 70 percent of India's ceramic.  Of course, thanks to anti-dumping duty, they are surviving, for now.  But there are other things too.  I am not sure they are too happy with the grand welcome you are getting.

Oh, and while we are at it, we are welcoming just you and your delegation that is officially coming over.  Not the intrusion at the border.  Please keep that in check.  That is not welcomed.

Hope you enjoy your stay here.



(PS: Views entirely personal)

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Denial: Best Medicine

They say laughter is the best medicine.

In my case, laughter stems from denial.  I am in a perpetual state of denial, not accepting realities like I am truly lonely.

Because if I accept it, I will break. And how will I keep up this cheery look.  

Don't get me wrong.  I am usually a happy person.  I am easily amused, and a friend once told me "you are an addiction, your presence brightens up the room" and I don't know how to laugh like a lady.  I laugh madly.  And it is genuine laughter.

But that doesn't mean I cannot be truly lonely within.  It kind of sucks.

Especially because for someone like me who easily falls in love (and I call it love because of all the chemicals it releases in my brain - it's science), usually with people I barely know and I will never have the courage to walk up and say how I feel, the feelings not being reciprocated leaves a very deep empty space.

And then I wake up feeling sad and deciding I will never let myself fall in love.  Because if I do not fall in love, I will not have to go through the heartbreak of not having someone fall back in love with me.

Denial.  That love is not for me. That I will never come across someone who loves me back.  And it is good that way.

If I go about without any expectations, lesser disappointments in life.

Now that I have it out of my system, let me write a funny tweet because I am such a fun person.

Edit: Log on to reddit, and here's a thread I see. And totally shattering the bubble. It's a thread asking what are obvious signs that someone's into you.  Apparently, today I learnt no one has ever been into me. OMG. THIS IS LIKE THE SADDEST DAY EVER OR WHAT Here's the link for your kind perusal and get the fuck off.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Friday night musings

So it is that time of the week I wish that never ends.  Friday evenings are the best. It means there are two days of no office, and there is no need for you to actually get out of your bed and do any sort of work.  But the anticipation of weekend gives so much adrenaline rush to me that I am like the energizer bunny on steroids on Friday evenings and I feel the most drained out on Sunday evenings because I suddenly feel that the two days are over and next day is Monday.

Normally I would start talking how Monday is two days away because I tend to be pessimistic like that.  Some times I start talking how next Monday is 7 days away on Monday mornings because I like to live in the future like that because living in the moment is too mainstream.

No, I have not smoked up anything (some people who had witnessed the recent bout of laughter, where I gave my own rendition of Asha Bhonsle (or is it Bhosle, pls to Google and tell me) and Lata Mangeshkar and S P Balasubramaniam hits at midnight in middle of the road. I am also kind of sad no one thought it would be a nice idea to give me 2 rupees to shut my mouth.  Not even a phooti kaudi. Anyway, I digress and when this happened I thought of other funnies and then I could not stop laughing and omg, my head started hurting because of too much blood and even my cheeks got tender because they were aching for being in constant position of stupid laughter and I swear I might have actually died for a few seconds there by just laughing. Some day, if we ever meet, dear reader, I shall sing for you because I am generous like that) (heh, did you realise the bracket was still open? heh. My genius knows no boundaries. omg.) and I am generally in a great mood mostly because I have sort of perfected the art of putting kohl in my eyes.

You may want to check out my instagram on and the latest picture which I put up of my eyes only because Navratri is coming up and I am totally going to pose like Maa Durga.  There are also lot of selfies in my album because no one else takes my pictures. Like, really. TOTALLY MARRYING A GUY WHO TAKES NICE PICTURES OF SELF.

Anyway, there is so much I want to do over the weekend. First of all, instagram for Android is getting updated. Not that it's important. But whatsapp is also getting updated. Like really, aren't any of you readers a secret admirer of mine? (cute, single, age appropriate, non-creepy guys only pls) Anyway, I get distracted.

So coming back, while those things are getting updated, I thought I will write this blog because I just had a cup of coffee and as you all know, caffeine is my drug, and omg, HI.

So, I am wondering what should I do all night. Should I watch back to back Castle episodes? Or Criminal Minds episodes? Or read Game of Thrones? Or read 1984 (OMG BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING. HI MODI OR OBAMA OR CIA OR CBI (LOL) OR WHOEVER IS READING THIS! the passenger side door of my car is not working, pls to send someone to fix it, also, half a dozen cupcakes to go with it won't be bad. And maybe transfer a zillion dollars to my bank account so I can travel the world and give it all back to you by spending on exorbitant stuffs - but anyway, just get the car door fixed - and also this disgusting smell of damp carpet doesn't go away - smells like burnt rubber and/or dead animal - pls to do the needful - I AM CUTE)

So coming back, what should I do.

Sometimes I wish I had multiple eyes and multiple compartments of brains so I can see/read multiple things at same time and each compartment of my brain can process individual information (of course, high speed censorship-free internet to do all these multiple tasks is a given) at one go and I can like do all I want to in this one lifetime. Because so much to do, so much to read and so much to watch and so little time.

OMG. 10 minutes to midnight. Let me go check if apps on my phone are updated.

Okay, updated. Even phone charged by 43 percent. This shall last me through the weekend. NO ONE CALLS ME!

I have still not decided what shall I do now. I want to actually lie down, but then WHO LIES DOWN ON FRIDAY NIGHTS?

Okay, I will go.

I will watch Castle. Season 3 last 2-3 episodes left.