Monday, November 1, 2010

How to know you are on Emotional Atyachaar

If you look around, everyone is suddenly talking about relationship, relationship status (its complicated being a very popular relationship status on facebook - most people thing that its cool to be in a relationship which you are not sure of), loyalty and mother of all - 'loyalty test'.

If you have seen the show on bindaas, you will realise that the only thing worse than this show is perhaps Rakhi Ka Insaaf, where her royal foolishness is screaming and shouting and giving insaaf to raddiwala guy whose wife ran away, and where audience chants "Rakhi, Rakhi" whenever she makes a ridiculous remark and laughs to herself. Please youtube the videos.

Anyway, I digress.

So I am talking about Emotional Atyachaar on Bindaas tv. I don't want to get on all personal and privacy issues - like, your relationship is a private thing and how it is foolish to get it telecast on national tv. But, here are the pointers on how you could be on Emotional Atyachaar, either as a 'lead' or as a 'suspect' or as a 'undercover agent'.

How to know you are a lead?

1. You are a delusional girlfriend/boyfriend. Delusional because you *think* you are in a committed relationship with someone you know for past four months and you are friggin 20 year old *AND* you want to get a loyalty test done.

2. You are highly insecure person. Now, if you closely observe the pattern of the leads in their introductional video, you'll see how they always 'i pray that you come out clean' or 'i know you will come out clean, i am doing it to prove everyone wrong'. R-I-G-H-T.

3. You are way far from reality. You actually believe that the guy who takes kasam about his not-yet-born-and-never-will child. And you get all sad and cry your heart out when he talks about teh same not-yet-born-and-never-will child with some random chick. "woh mera bachcha tha" you cry. WTF. It's hard to believe such people exist, but then, i know quite a few people like that in my real life to accept that such people actually do exist. I have a friend who once famously said, "main usko barbaad kar dungi' after her imaginary boyfriend "dumped" her. Anyway, so you get the gist.

How to know you are a suspect?

1. You have a delusional girlfriend/boyfriend. And you are still with her/him because you suffer from tremendous amount of inferiority complex.

2. You suddenly start getting too much attention from the member of the opposite sex. Apparently, you fall for the trap because you are such a fool not to see that the other person is not interested in you. (please watch an episode of Lie to Me to see subtle signs of body language. on seconds thoughts, no, the show is crap) Anyway, so you are so stupid not to doubt the person showering too much attention on you in two days of knowing you and you feel that he/she is smitten by you. Dude, it seems that not just your girlfriend/boyfriend, but even you are delusional.

3. The person showering you too much attention has a friend whose apartment is empty. Or an uncle who has an awesome farmhouse some two hour away from the city. Oh, and you get picked up (in most cases) in a car, which is not driven by the peron. :P You'd be a fool not to notice things like that. Jeez, are people really so stupid?

How to know you are an undercover agent?

Well, there are no pointers for this, but here's the thing. You are an undercover agent if :

1. You are an aspiring model/actor and you are quite ugly. But you are also delusional about you being the prettiest thing to have walked on the face of earth. Jeez, too many delusional people on the show.

2. You are an out of work model/actor and this 30 minutes are your only claim to fame. Next time, you could try for Rakhi/Rahul Mahajan ka swayamvar part 2.

3. You are a reality show contestant yourself, and think that you should be a model/actor.

Jeez. This is such a crap show and the participants are all so full of crap themselves, just goes out to show the maturity level of the current generation. I feel bad for these losers.

On a totally unrelated note, Diwali is here, and as a Diwali gift for myself, I will buy myself a guitar, (after exams) and learn it myself. So the guys who invented guitar, would've learnt to play it themselves too, right? And if I can teach myself the Income Tax laws, I am sure, guitar would be a piece of an awesome cake. :D

1 comment:

Picture blog Par excellence said...

I know its too much tv in this post for me to understand...but the point is, in most cases, even frontrunners like survivor ran on a script. So I would request you to even starting to think o these as non "reality" shows.being ugly has nothing to do with being an actor. Ex. Rajanikanth. And he is the highest paidd there ever has been.models... milind Soman...he isn't good looking in anyways.. but he is a model... hello even I can be a anywho.. typing on the phone is a pain..