Rahmanishq

So I am not a music person. I usually listen to songs while driving, and mostly the radio.  I do not have a "go to" playlist of songs which I hear when I need to lift my mood.  (usually, browsing kitteh, doggeh and other animals pictures, and memes over the internet, and other wonderful things over the internet does the trick)

So when a friend suggested way back in August to book my tickets for the Rahmanishq concert by Celkon mobiles, I shrugged it off.  The thought of being in middle of a crowd, in Ahmedabad, where there is insane amount of noise made me shudder.  Plus, I'm not a Rahman fangirl.  I mean, I do like his songs, but I've never felt his songs "grow on me" the way most people feel.

But then, when I got invited to attend the pre-event press conference, I kicked myself and wished I had got my tickets.  (on second thoughts, not really, the tickets were oversold, and the thought of so many humans gathered at one place still sends chill down my spine.  Also one of the reasons I'm #foreveralone) But, as everyone says, maybe attending that concert might have been a great experience.  I mean, it's not everyday you get Rahman to sing for you.  Live.

But then, I had my own moment.  I was under the same roof as Rahman and his team, which included (damn, I forgot most names, sorry, not a music person, really, really sorry - see, would've remembered if you guys would've given autographs and all) Neeti Mohan and Javed Ali and Ranjit Barot and Shweta Pandit and Harshdeep Kaur amongst other people.

Sadly, the crowd at the pre-event meet was not well managed.  I especially felt bad for Celkon mobile executives, because it was saddening that the people were busy clicking pictures of the singers while the executives introduced the company, phones and its features. (again, I forgot names of the phones they launched, but they are Rahmanishq series phones) 

So, Celkon people, as someone who is a part of the media, let me assure you, it is not as bad always.  Next time, maybe keep some distance between the celebs and the first row of audience. And maybe a bigger hall. :|

A R Rahman. OMG.

Wish he had sung a few lines for us.  Kya chala jaata agar 2 lines gaa leta. If he would've insisted, I would've totally sung 2 lines for him.  I'm humble like that.

Javed Ali :D

He won my heart. <3 2="" also="" as="" bahara.="" but="" couldn="" driving="" e="" for="" got="" grinning="" he="" i="" jashn="" lines="" minutes="" not="" of="" omg.="" on="" only="" p="" photographers="" playing="" posed="" radio="" sang="" song="" soon="" stage="" stop="" t="" that="" the="" to="" two="" venue.="" very="" was="" while="">
Sigh.  All these singers.

I feel so talentless.

Maybe I'll just browse through stuff over internet and sleep.  It is almost Monday.

Close your eyes, and no one can see you

(Disclaimer: This is based on the observation of younger nieces, nephews and cousins in my family and may not be true for everyone.)

I have a problem with the way current generation of teenagers is being raised. 

Every picture this cousin of mine uploads on Facebook, her mother, who's my aunt, comments, "wow, perfect", "muaaah", "beautiful", "simply gorgeous".  I'm not exaggerating when I say every picture.  My cousin is 14/15 year old.  Most of the pictures have straightened hair, long dangling earrings, make up (pink or red lipstick among other things).  She has a crush on a kid who's her neighbour.  He's also 16/17 year old.  My aunt always makes it a point to "tease" her about her crush.  Oh, and his parents are usually referred to as her "in-laws".  She says she has not even said "hi" to the guy. 

Don't get me wrong.  I have no issues with parents thinking their kids are the most perfect creatures ever. (my parents don't think so, and sometimes go out of their way to point out my flaws)   But is it just me who thinks it is wrong to keep doing that? Are parents that blind that they never see any flaws in their offspring? And have I told you how this cousin of mine is super mean to another cousin of the same age? And how her mother doesn't see anything wrong in it because the other cousin "is dumb"?

And "in-laws"? Seriously? I'm all for being friendly to your children, such that they do not hesitate in coming to you with their problems. (I never approached my parents with my problems, but then, I never approach anyone) But isn't this wrong? Why are parents trying so hard to be a teenager themselves? Aren't they supposed to be mature? Yes, having a crush is normal, dating is okay but this? Seriously? Another cousin tells her 14 year old (when he tells her about his crush) that "she's okay, but she's not as fair as me" and "she likes you only because you are cool." And this nephew of mine is currently in his 10th board, and is flunking in most subjects in school.  Why not encourage him to spend the time he spends in being cool for studying?  And no, he's not Bill Gates in the making because really, his behaviour is disturbing at times and I genuinely think he needs professional help.

And then my four year old niece.  Her staple diet includes chocos, oreos and bread and cheese.  And a pinch of salt and spoonfuls of sugar as a treat.  Yes, she enjoys pinch of salt. And spoonfuls of sugar.  And what is most appalling is that her parents do not see anything wrong in that. They laugh and think it is cute.  Also, know what else she does is cute? almost choking her younger 1 year old sister with a pillow because "she loves her so much, but doesn't know how to express love".  Such situations need to be handled with care, but it can only be handled if people realise that it is a problem. 

You, even though you are a close family member, and the said nieces and cousins love you, and you love them, you cannot teach manners or you cannot say no to them.

You cannot tell them that while there is nothing wrong with wearing makeup, anything that may attract unwanted attention from the opposite sex should be done when you are old enough to handle things. And understand the difference between good and bad attention.  I'm not saying rapes happen because of the way women dress.  Or that you must dress modestly to stop getting male attention. (seriously, what does dressing modestly mean?)  But all I'm saying is that a 12-13 year olds are not mature enough. And they need to be taught how to handle attention and probably be taught that they need to focus their energies on studying.

And once I was privy to a conversation between my 13 year old cousins, where cousin 1 was telling cousin 2 about her friend who "smooched" her boyfriend.  Her mother was also overhearing it.  My aunt said, "I don't think she would've smooched, who would smooch her?"  Wow.  Oh, yes, the same aunt who thinks her daughter is perfect.  I was taken aback and I have replayed the conversation in my head over and over trying to accept that she might not really mean it.  But no. She meant it.

I'm not sure I should forward them this link on Stuebenville high school.  Because really, perfect girls are safe from anything criminal that could happen around them.

Are parents these days really that delusional?

Why I don't have friends.

I've been introspecting.  It is the kind of thing you do when you're alone at home, with your parents vacationing and you've to cook your own meals.  Nothing wrong about cooking own meals. I enjoy cooking.  But I don't like cooking just for myself. It is too much effort for one person.  So been having khichdi almost alternate days for meals because it is yummeh, it is easy and doesn't take a lot of effort.

And when you are alone at home, where every time you hear leaves rustle, you expect a psychotic killer waiting to kill you (yes, i love crime drama and i cannot lie) or you invariably check behind the shower curtain hoping and thanking god that there was no one standing there with a knife ready to kill you. (at this point, I already have escape routes planned and also my cry for help line ready when I lock myself into a cupboard waiting for the brilliant Ahmedabad Police to arrive to rescue me. LOLJK, I expect the FBI to save me)

Anyway, so I've been wondering why I don't have friends.

Other than the fact that most have moved out of the city.

Maybe it is because I am way too random and they don't get it why I'm saying certain things I'm saying.  All I'll say is I am a very curious being.  I like asking things and questioning stuff and I have let my imagination run wild.  So what if no one else thinks that these days Lata Mangeshkar sounds like she were a boy who has recently hit puberty and his voice just broke? Not saying I'm a great singer, but if I were here, I'd retire before I start sounding like Annu Mallik. And that is not even a compliment.  So maybe I'm too random.

I suck at small talk.  I can talk for hours otherwise.  I tend to be very chatty too.  But I don't like making a small talk.  So maybe I'm in a wrong profession where I *have* to make a small talk to "network", but I'll get there.

My low tolerance for stupidity and sarcasm.  I think stupidity is one of the stupidest things some people are blessed with.  And stupidity with sarcasm is a lethal combination.  I mean, what makes stupid people think that they can afford to be sarcastic too? You don't have to pretend to be polite when you're friends, but keep that sarcasm under control because according to the statistics I just made up, 95 % of relationships have gone from bad to worse because of sarcasm.  Or maybe being super caustic and vicious about things.  It just doesn't work.  Everyone has their own level of tolerance, mine is dipping everyday.  Sometimes, it is not even worth the effort to tolerate sarcasm to save a friendship.

My super ability to attract people who hate socialising.  Now, for someone who is a recovering from social anxiety (or maybe I'm not recovering yet), this is probably the worst thing to happen.  You try to go out and meet people, but the one or two friends you end up making hate meeting people.  You end up remaining a socially awkward being for the rest of your life. :(

Maybe I am way too damaged.  I have issues with getting emotionally dependent on anyone who's nice to me.  So sometimes, I go out of my way to not get too clingy, but I fail.  This is one thing I really need to rectify.  Mostly because, it usually ends with me being in tears and crying myself to sleep.  I don't learn from my actions, though. :( Well, on the positive side, I know what the issue is.  And though it's futile, at least I'm trying to work on it.

Sigh.  Now I'm all sad.

And the entire weekend I'll be on my own, with not even colleagues to talk to.  I'm not sure how to feel about it.  I like being on my own when the parents are around.  But when they aren't around, I crave people to talk to. :(

Maybe that is why I don't have friends.

Waiting to be asked

"So what are your plans for Navratri?"

Even before the pitrupaksh/shradh gets over, every Gujarati worth his/her salt (omg. Dandi march/salt law. omg. I love connecting random things) gets asked this question.

Most of the times my answer is.. heh heh I don't dance.

Which is true.

Another fact is that I am a trained classical dancer.  I've learnt Bharatnatyam for 9 years and every Gujarati who takes birth, doesn't cry, but says, 'o haalo haalo'.  So basically, garba is not difficult.  No one can not know how to dance garba.  Except of course, if you are my dad: it is a delight to watch him attempt garba steps.

Anyhoo, coming back.  So why don't I go and enjoy the 9 night long dancing extravaganza?

Couple of reasons:

1.  I don't have a large group of friends.  Even if I did, I would not dance. I am too shy to dance. 

2.  I don't have proper navratri outfit. :( Since I never went out for garba, I never owned a proper navratri attire.  Also, I don't know how to dress up.  I don't know how women manage that.  I do not own make up (except kajal, that too gets smeared most of the times and I look like dakoo haseena or something)  I sometimes envy women who can carry off make up and pretty clothes and walk demurely, lady-like.

3.  Extreme sound on loudspeakers give me earache. :( and also headache at times.

4.  There are too many people. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE? and why are they all out of their homes? ghar pe baitho yaar.

5. It is usually humid around this time of the year.  Humid, along with weirdest of bugs who get attracted to the loud lights.  Years ago, when I went to a garba place with my sister (because 'go, you dance well, you will have fun') I saw two flying cockroaches come and sit on the hairdo of a lady in front of me, and it has scarred me for life.  I am always on the lookout of flying things. :(

6.  No one has asked me to.  You know, if you've seen the movie Bollywood/Hollywood starring Rahul Khanna and Lisa Ray, there is this one scene where Rahul Khanna sees Dina Pathak (who plays his grandma) dance.  Lisa has got her to dance.  After the song, he tells Lisa, something like, "I've never seen her dance", to which she replies, "Maybe she was just waiting to be asked".

Maybe I am just waiting to be asked.