Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Nirmal Baba for President

Nirmal Baba is awesome. 

The Baba has a mystical third eye, by which he can sense problem in your life, and all you have to do is, tell him your problem, and he will give the simplest of solutions, like, 'go home, and pray to Lord Krishna' and within 15 days, you will get married.

Now, Babaji has lots of devotees. It is quite surprising, considering, I didn't know of his existence, till I got bored of Sandhi Sudha reruns, and decided to changed channel for greener pastures.  Babaji sits on a simhasan straight out of B. R. Chopra's Mahabharat set.  He sits in a hall full of people, which is aptly, called, a "darbar", and sometimes also referred to as "samagam".

Here, he is giving gyaan on life, death and beyond.  He also gives corporate advice on how everyone needs to be honest and hardworking in their lives.  And of course, if despite your hard work, you are not getting what you deserve, it is just that there was no 'kripa'. Now, not sure what this kripa is, but i'm sure, i don't have it either.  Almost as if reading my mind, he answers the question, how his kripa and his third eye is so powerful, it also helps those who are watching it on TV.  Of course, you need to have a clean heart and open mind for his kripa to work.  The moment, a 'maila khayal' comes to your mind, the kripa stops.  *now i'm wondering if my new herbal essences shampoo can help me clean my khayals too*

Now, suddenly, we have the question answer round.

One 20 something boy stands up and before he could ask, the all powerful Baba got the wind of his problem.  Baba's intuition told him the boy needed a warm suit.  So he asked the boy.  Boy is awestruck, because he did want to buy a jacket.  Baba analyses the situation and asks, when was the last time he got the suit stitched, and how much he paid and where was it stitched.  Baba is sad that the boy got his suit stitched at a baajuwali dukaan and not a big tailor.  Baba says, the kripa on the boy is less because he got his suit stitched at a smaller shop and not at a bigger shop.  And only after that, he asks the boy to ask his question.

In other one, Baba asks a lady in her mid 30s or 40s, Y U NOOO USE SILK SCARVES? :|  And Y U NOOO PUT 200 RUPEES IN BHAIRO MANDIR INSTEAD OF 50 RUPEES? :| dafaq.

In other one, Babaji asks a lady to pay visit to Kalka temple *and* visit a L'Oreal salon. #ok  And one girl praises Babaji how taking his name before exam help her pass, because she had not prepared, but Babaji had given some 'kripa' to her, and she asked for permanent 'kripa' this time.  The girl also saw him in her dream a couple of times (now, if you ask me, if you see a random baba and not Salman Khan in your dream, you really, really need help.  Ok, if not Salman Khan, Ranbir Kapoor or Hrithik Roshan or anyone else, but a random Baba).

How does Baba give his kripa? He waves his hand in a wand like swoosh, and kripa gets passed on to the devotees.  You want to increase money? Carry a black purse, whenever Baba appears on tv, open your black purse facing the tv, his kripa will get passed through the tv, and increase money.
Oh, also, while snooping through his facebook page, here is what I found.  Let me attach a screenshot.
See the likes on first and second update, and read the third update in detail.  If that is not creepmax, I don't know what is.  (okay, there are a few other creepmax things too, but whatisthere)

Anyhoo, So, this is the awesomeness called Nirmal Baba.  The way he manages to solve everyone's problem, I don't know why he should not replace Pratibha Patil once her tenure is over.  Maybe till that time, he will even learn how to teleport, and we could save Rs. 205 crores, she spent on her foreign trips.

For more on Babaji, you can like his facebook page here, and follow him on twitter, here. Oh, and details on his next darbar and telecast details, please visit his website here.

At this point, I'm hoping none of the devotee of Babaji burns my effigy.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Life

Life is strange. Death is stranger. It's like the mystical world no one knows anything about. Not everyone's life is a bed of roses. What a cliche, that is. Bed of roses.

Everyone has had their share of setbacks. And probably some have even thought of ending their lives to escape it. Sure, it would be easy giving it up and dying. But what comes after that? Isn't the fear of unknown even worse than fear of known?

And then, some want to give it up because some idiot refused to be part of their lives. Sure, I've had my moments when I just wanted to shut myself up in the room and cry myself to sleep. Or not talk to anyone for days. It's just easy to stay in denial than talk about things. Talk it out, they say. But you think it is easy to talk about it without the other person being judgmental about it? They are not the ones who have gone through. Not felt the way you have felt. Easy for them to say that you need to move on.

Of course, I know I need to move on. Yes, yes, there is a beautiful world out there, with people who love me, care for me, my parents, my sister, my friends. They love me, even with the kind of mess I am.

I have, at times, felt like giving all this up, and just walking out of the house. But knew it's not going to work. And taking my own life was not even considered. No one is worth my life.

But amongst these thousand things that are wrong, when my two year old niece tells me, "ninu, I love you", wraps her hand around my finger, and puts her trust in me that I won't let her fall, it seems there is still goodness in the world.

Life is still worth living.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Story of my life

Dad : So, what are Her Highness' plans for the day?

Mom : I will be cleaning the cupboards and arranging them - both father and daughter have junk in place of clothes - full of clothes you don't wear. One of these days, I will throw them away.

Dad : Very interesting, but I was asking the "Other" Her Highness.

Me : Ah, nothing much, I am giving you the list of books which I require, and I am going to study.

Dad : For how many minutes?

Me : What do you mean minutes?

Dad : Back in 2001, on that one warm afternoon in March, I saw you study for 1 hour. That was the longest you ever sat to study.

Me : What.. you don't trust me?

Dad : It's not that I don't trust you, I just trust your laziness even more!

Me : Pbbbbt.

Dad : Beta, please, get serious. Life isn't all play. At this pace, you will become a chartered accountant and a senior citizen at the same time!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Easier said than done

When I told myself to let go, I knew it would not be easy. I know I am holding on to the ghosts. If I were you, I'd call myself delusional and get myself to take some therapy.

And I have always taken pride in the fact that I have managed to detach myself from things, places, people very quickly. I block them out of my thoughts till they stop coming to my thoughts, and now when I think about them, I feel nothing.

Then why is it so difficult this time? Why am I clinging on to it? You, as a reader of the blog, also know only what I've told you. Except you, the one I'm talking about. I'm too afraid to talk about it, because I don't want people to judge me. I probably will never tell the whole thing either, unless I am confident I won't be judged or told to let go and move on. I bloody know it, dammit.

Every few days I get into the mood where I just want to cry. I'm afraid to be alone. I don't want to be alone. It's like some kind of withdrawal symptom.

It's been more than a month since I last talked. I need more strength.

I want to read this blog, a few months down the line and laugh at how silly I was. The way I've read my old blogs and cringed. I don't want to cry.