Friday, March 25, 2011

What a girl wants?

Oh, c'mon, how many times have you come across us complex beings and wondered, 'what the fuck does she want, anyway?' "She", could be your female friend, your girlfriend, your colleague or just someone you know.

Well, it's an old, and quite stale, in my opinion, joke that even god doesn't know what we want and all that crap. Well, let me give you a survival guide when you ask this question again.

In most cases, we don't quite want anything. Yes, we are complicated, but definitely less complicated than solving the Rubik's cube. So, instead of wondering why we are behaving in certain way, how about introspecting and asking yourself, "did I do anything?" and more importantly, "what was it that I didn't do?" Should you have done something to please us and not done it?

And how do you know that you were supposed to do something? After all, we never said anything explicitly, and since you guys are so practical, hints don't quite work on you, so why can't we just cut some slack and tell you in exact words what we want. Well, that is because, we love to feel special, and in most cases, making us feel special for no reason will earn you super brownie points. How about sending some surprise flowers to her workplace along with a hand written note? :D

Also, let me clarify one thing, we don't want super expensive stuff. (not that you shouldn't get us any, but.. :P) We'd be as happy with a Harry Winston as we'd be with a long stemmed rose or a two rupees ke roasted peanuts. Seriously. Just the way all these self help books tell you to do one random act of kindness to make the world a better place, these small random acts of love will make us love you even more. :D Sachhi. :D We just feel awesome when you do such small things because it makes us feel important.

Be Chivalrous. Yea, so we love it when men give us special treatment. And no, it has nothing to do with equality. Being chivalrous to someone you love is more of an emotional thing and equality debate is more of a moral issue. Let's not mix it. Just be nice, offer to pay (yea, even though i insist on paying for my own stuff, I'd be super thrilled if you pay for me) and don't be too stingy. It makes us kind of uncomfortable and you might lose out on some crucial points which may lead to second date.

Do not play too hard to get. We will take it as if you are not interested, and won't try further. Apparently, even though we tend to get emotionally involved too easily, we can handle rejection easier than you guys. We'll just move on :D At the same time, if the girl is playing a bit hard to get, indulge her. As I said, making us feel important is crucial to win our hearts! :D

Reply to sms/chats/tweets. That doesn't mean you stalk us, and read/reply to every frigging tweet, but when we send you smses, reply. If you don't you're losing out on points. Call us, but not every other hour - we will get bored, plus, we'll feel you're coming on too strong and are possessive - and you wont hear from us anymore.

Just as you need your space, and your night out with boys watching matches and playing games, even we want our time.. :) respect our privacy! :D Contrary to what you may want to believe, our world doesn't revolve around you, but it revolves around us. :D

Well, that's all I can think of at the moment.. go ahead, make that special girl feel special.. :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Divine Hug

I am not sure if I am a hug person. I mean, I do find hugs quite comforting, especially when they come at a time I am low and desperately need a shoulder to cry on. In fact, there are times when I wish there was this one person I could cling on and cry and all he would do is hold me in a big bear hug and let me cry, without asking questions.

It is that emotional moment when a hug can make you feel that everything will be all right. And even when things are not great, you know you have someone around, who's there, just in case things are falling apart.

Having said that, I don't quite like the thought of hugging every person I meet. In fact, not just hugging, I'm also not comfortable with shaking hands with random people, especially when the person doesn't give me good vibes. And yes, I am highly perceptive, and I get good/bad vibes from people, and I know I hate the person the moment he/she enters the room and has not even spoken a word. Some people might call it prejudice, but hey, just because i'm more perceptive than most of you mortals, it doesn't mean i'm prejudiced. my antennas are tuned better than yours.

Which brings me to mata amritanandmayi devi and her hugs. Now, with all due offence, i'm not a huge fan of all these self proclaimed divine beings. I'm not sure if I believe in God, though I find the concept of God quite fascinating, and I do like the idea of having a supreme being in control of us. But all these saadhus and matas who claim to be having all these divinity and healing powers, are complete bakwas, in my awesome opinion. (my opinions are not humble)

These people thrive on the gullibility of naive people who fall for the trap. One might argue that if having such people around can comfort a disturbed person and help make world a better place to live in, why should i hold it against them? Well, to begin with, it's more like playing with someone's emotions and feelings, and secondly, it is not quite helping the cause of all these superstitious beliefs that have deep roots in the country. These guys just encourage more fraud people to come up claiming divine power.

Also, I'm not sure how something as personal and emotional as a hug, be given out as prasad/ashirwad by her? I mean, all correct about hugging spreading the positivity, but dude, these divine hugs theory is just beyond me. Maybe I should hug her to see if I get divine intervention? :P Or maybe I should ask her if she has had anyone feeling her up/getting too cosy while hugging? :P :P

And if it does work, maybe I could call myself a mata and go about hugging people! Hey, i'm all for making this world a better place to be in.. !

Monday, March 7, 2011


Some relationships just drift apart. You could be the best of friends today, and you suddenly, for no reason, drift apart, and the next thing you know, it has been two years since you last talked to your best friend and when you do call up your friend, she's pregnant already. (yea, you were not even invited to the wedding)

Like every other thing in the universe, whether being emotional is good or bad, is a highly subjective matter. There is no limit set that being emotionally involved with something or someone is the ideal limit. It all depends on how your brains and heart are wired.

My brain and heart are wired in a very weird manner. I get attracted to all the wrong men in the world. And attracted, not only in the romantic way. It could be purely platonic way, but then, there is this thing about me where I suffer from verbal diarrhoea.

I love to talk. I can talk incessantly and incoherently for hours and still not get tired. In fact, so much of talking and laughing releases all the happy hormones in me and I get a tremendous high and can stay awake for 24 hours straight.

I was introduced to Rajat through a common friend when we were in the last year of college. he was a two years senior to us and we hit it off instantly. We would hang out together in the group and like every other romantic comedy movie, we would hang out together more than the rest of the junta.

Our phone calls lasted till wee hours in the morning, and we would still have lots to talk about. Rather, I would have lots to talk about. All this while, we were great friends. We didn't quite realise when we stopped going out with the rest of the gang, and it was just us at the movies and pizzas and coffees.

And then, suddenly, he stopped answering my calls.

What hurt me more was the fact that I was totally clueless as to what went wrong. It was all going great, we were having fun, laughing, talking, and suddenly, poof! he went out of my life as if he never was!

It took me eight to ten months to get over the pain the very dear friend of mine had given. It also took lots of coffee and 4 am calls where I would call my best friend Preeti and I would cry for no reason and she would patiently listen to me without giving me all the gyaan others would've provided. Now, I'm not sure if she was listening or just sleeping while I ranted my way, though!

World is too small, they say. Very rarely, and only in movies do paths cross again. I never thought of Rajat again.

Today, after five years since I last saw him, I came face to face to him again. Where we both acted as strangers, as if nothing ever existed between us. His parents are looking for a bride for him, he told me.

As we exchanged goodbyes, I somehow, felt liberated. The ghost of the past no more bothers me, and I am ready to move on.


So all you single men out there.. :P here is your chance! :P :P

PS - it is all fiction! :D just written in first person narrative! :D