Tuesday, November 18, 2014

How To: #1

How to survive attending a wedding where the only person you know there is the bride (and you are not the bride in question)

I am great with giving advice.  It's like so much gyaan, so little audience.

With the upcoming shaadi season, I am sure some of you may be invited to weddings where the only person you know there is the bride (or groom) and there is no way you could not attend it.

See, they took time out of their life, preparing for the big step in their lives, to think of you and to invite you.  So you must go there.  Be part of their important day.

But being amongst complete strangers terrifies you.  Or maybe it does not and it is just me.  But then in case it does, here's what you could do.

1.  Be on time.  You see, the late you reach, the more people will be there (because most people come late to shaadis) and lesser the people, higher the chances you may get some moments with the bride/groom.

2.  Be few minutes earlier and go meet the bride/groom before they enter the mandap.  Chances are you will end up leaving before the entire wedding ceremony is over.  So go, meet her/him, wish them personally, and if the person isn't a bridezilla/groomzilla, maybe hug them. Hugs are nice.

3.  Going to meet the bride/groom in their room also helps in other ways.  Like you may get to use the cleaner washroom.  (okay, in my defense, I drink a lot of water.)

4.  Go find the second most dressed lady.  Chances are bride's mother.  Go say hello.  Introduce yourself.  Say you got to go, she will give nice blessings like god bless you and leave.

5.  This is a good time to introspect and think about your life choices.  There you are, attending someone's wedding, wondering if the people around could be spotted from Mars because of the bling they're wearing?

6.  You may or may not come across your high school crush, who may now be married, and you try and slink away as if you never there in the first place.

Anyway, chances are you (I) will stand out in such places.  I was least dressed, wearing this new FabIndia jacket I got last week, which is apparently men's jacket (I knew it was men's jacket when I got it) and wearing plain cottons.  I am bound to stand out.  But today I chose to fight my awkwardness and be part of someone's big day.  I have realised I do not need to try to fit in.

Also, if and when I do get married, I'm getting married in my trackpants and t-shirt.

Also, if you want me to write guides on which awkward situation you want to get out of, write to me, and I will give gyaan.

I accept cash, gift and phooti kaudis as payments.


1 comment:

Arwa Doriwala said...

How about a post on escaping a meeting with the in laws extended family all at the same time?