Being a journalist is not easy. Especially when you come without a degree in journalism or any prior journalism experience.
You see, some of us come without baggages.
I have come across some really, really smart people and am glad they are the ones who write news based on which people form their opinions.
At the same time, there are a bunch of conspiracy theorists whose ideas are terrifying. My first instinct is to make fun of the media but then I quickly realise I am now part of this circus myself.
I am torn between two worlds. Of a rational reader who takes everything with truckloads of salt. And a journalist who tries to be honest to her profession and tries to give a balanced write-up on the news that are presented to me.
Every time I write a story, I ask myself, am I being honest to myself as a reader? Well, at least I try.
I am still in awe of people who have been around way longer than I have. I blush like a teenaged girl when some of them recognise me because honestly speaking, any sort of attention makes me wonder. (totally blaming the lack of confidence about myself to the years I spent studying Chartered Accountancy that drained me out of all my energy and positivity.)
I want to reach out to most of them and talk about their experiences, but you know, most of them are so wary of people approaching. Or at least I think they are.
As I said, as someone who comes without any baggage or any knowledge of years of gossip about them, I am approaching them with a fresh slate and I genuinely want to know them. But all your moves are probably questioned. It baffles me.
Oh, and who you meet, who you interact with over Twitter - they all become topics of gossip for months to come. Like really.
No, I am really interested in meeting people, listening to their stories. I find them fascinating.
So will I stop doing what I enjoy because some people may take it otherwise?
I will still go out of my way to compliment someone. Because a compliment never hurts.
It is nice to be nice.
But in journalism, it being nice makes people suspicious.
I just don't want to get disheartened and question the choice of my career. If any senior journalists around have a word of advice, I'm all ears.