Friday, January 16, 2015

Science of falling in love

It's funny how everything has chemistry involved.  You thought it's your heart that falls in love, but actually it's your brain with little help from the chemicals secreted in that tiny little brain of yours.

I always thought I fall in love easily.  But then, I am rational too, when it comes to love.

Example: I may have harboured feelings for Salman Khan all through these years - falling in love with him all over again every time he would smile or hold that intense gaze or just laugh his heart out, but I also know I can never let him take me for a drive.  (I mean, I'd rather take him for a drive, heh.)  Even as a fangirl, I am open to people making fun of his terrible movies.  So, you see? The rational part of me kicks in when I see bullshit around.

But celebrities apart, I would still fall in love easily.  (and easily fall out of it - because one sided and when it's not reciprocated - the negatives are glaring in my face like red flags, like the chances of the person being married or something?) 

So maybe I need to fall in love smarter.  I mean, so many people around me have found The One, how hard could it be for me? (well, apparently, very - where are the single, interesting men who are not assholes?)

Anyway, so I came across this article which talks about falling in love with anyone.  It's says how talking to someone, and answering few personal questions, and having a few commonalities between two people, you could fall in love.  Apparently, someone conducted an experiment in a lab, and the "subjects" ended up marrying each other six minutes later.  Like, really. (I am willing to be a subject in such experiment, provided the other subject is kind of cute.)

But is it really that simple? Who am I to answer - I just confessed I fall in love easily.  It doesn't take too much to make my heart flutter. (of course, staying in love is harder - because you know, the feeling has to be reciprocated by the other person to continue to stay in love - maybe that is also one of the reasons I fall out of love easily too - perils of one-sided love)

Also, the writer here has mentioned very important point - that for the experiment to succeed, both persons have to be open to the idea of falling in love with that other person. (yes, so that means I need to find such a subject - looking for subjects - send in your applications with recent passport size photograph)

So, yes, I am looking for a love enthusiast willing to be part of the experiment - where we are both willing to fall in love with each other.

Here are the 36 questions: (after answering these we have to look into each others' eyes for 4 minutes - so yea)

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

So, any volunteers?


Nishith Reval said...

A little help from brain's chemicals ? I would say it's entirely because of it ...

satish said...

aap yunhi agar hamse milte rahe, dekhiye ek din pyar ho jaayega..

('love in the time of recaptcha' would be a horror movie!)