Sunday, February 1, 2015

Live Tweeting: Conquering Kaali Naag

So today morning I was just reading up about the Kurukshetra War which is the mythical war in the epic Mahabharat - the original Game of Thrones - on the conflict of succession of dynasty between the Pandavas and the Kaurawas - the cousins. (if such war were to happen between my cousins, pretty sure I'll emerge as the Kalki avatar - maybe this is my true calling.)

Mythical war - interesting. Because these mythical wars and stories have laid foundation of Hinduism - so basically, the entire religion based on myths. OMG.

Not that I was reading it for the first time.. I enjoy reading up on Hindu mythology as and when the whimsical mind of mine demands.  So one thing led to another and I was listening to this bhajan by Narsinh Mehta. (No, I'm not related to him, nor am I related to Harshad Mehta, the bull.)

And then I ended up reading about the Kaali Naag and it made me wonder what if this event was live-tweeted by the characters involved?

Well, look no further, here's how it may have happened.

(Disclaimer: NO offence meant - please do no burn my effigies. I do not intend to hurt your religious sentiments - don't we all say how religion (based on myths) teaches tolerance?)

(Disclaimer2: If you are not sure how Twitter works, you may not really enjoy reading it. In which case, I suggest you watch above video and song along - I love that song.)

@K4LIY4: Checks into *blocks and reports @Garuda for spam*

@K4LIY4: *spews venom* #literally. Ooo. Look at those poisonous gas bubbles in the Yamuna. #lulz

@LordKrishna: Let's go play ball near the solitary tree near this poisonous river because why not.

@KrishBuddy1: Dude, don't climb the tree, okay? Notice the red flags - the river is poisonous, only one lone tree here. Plus, Kaliya is not really your buddy.

@LordKrishna: *smirks*

@KrishBuddy2: No, really. Stay away. Here, catch. *throws ball*

@LordKrishna: Excaaaaaaite at the prospect of climbing the tree I'm forbidden.
                          Heh. Forbidden tree.  We all know the last time someone was forbidden from a tree how that turned out. #AdamFan4Lyf

@KrishBuddy1: Heeeeey, wtf. Don't climb the damned tree.

@LordKrishna: *drops ball in Yamuna*


@KrishBuddy2: Now what? Who's gonna get the ball?

@LordKrishna: Brb, getting ball. *jumps into the river*

@Nagini1: Who in their sane mind would come here, kid?

@Nagini2: If our master wakes up, he'll kill. Pls to go back. #Kthx

@Nagini1: Are you lost? Or have your enemies tricked you coming here? Else you wouldn't be here.

@LordKrishna: Nope. I'm just here for the lulz.

@Nagini1: You're kinda cute, your parents must really hate you to let you come down here. This place is full of poison, you know.

@LordKrishna: Nope. I'm beloved Krishna. Go wake your husband up. Tell him I'm here to say hi. (and also get back my ball)

@Nagini2: Here, take all the monies we got. Go back. Hell hath no fury like the dude we're wives to scorned.

@LordKrishna: Nope. Cannot go back without taking the ball, babbeh.

@Nagini1: *pinches feet* *tucks moustache* wake up, @K4LIY4, look who's here.

@K4LIY4: Wtf. Go away. I'm napping. *spews moaaar venom*

@LordKrishna: Giu back my ball.

@K4LIY4: You asked for it, kid. *wraps self around @LordKrishna*
                    #SelfFive *takes a selfie* #WrapAroundKrish #Yamuna #Home #DontComeHomeEver

@LordKrishna: Dude, cannot tolerate so many hashtags.

                         *gets into hulk mode*

@K4LIY4: *lets go* whaaaat are you?

@LordKrishna: *takes weight of the universe and jumps on @K4LIY4's head*

                          *takes a selfie* #jump #IAmViraat(notKohli) #dancing #love4dancing #instadance #danceoftheday #power #IAmGod

@Nagini1: Omg. Pls stop. You'll kill him.

@LordKrishna: Ah, well. Okay, hey, @K4LIY4 leave Yamuna alone. Go away.

@K4LIY4: Totes, kid.

                   *takes a selfie* #ByeByeHome #KrishnaRules #Buddies #Goodbye #SadFace

And that is how the Kaliya Naag left Yamuna.

Except, willing to bet that despite the poison of Kaliya Naag in the river, the water was much much much better than the present day Yamuna water, which also has tears of previous governments working out of the national capital.

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy reading Kaun Banega Draupadi Ka Pati, Samudra Manthan, Yaksha Prashna, and Twitter Gita.

Again, do not burn my effigies. Or kill me or something.

I am cute. I have dimples and I come from land of Gandhi and Modi. Thanks.

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