I have always liked solitude. I don't go about looking for reasons to be alone, but I wouldn't mind being on my own for long periods.
Having said that, I do like people. Not a large group of people. They are intimidating, but a small, close group of people. Mostly, being out with just one more person. It helps me give my undivided attention to that person. Because if there are more people, I will invariably end up being more of an observer, and zone out most of the times. Unless I am asked to be an integral part of a conversation, I will refrain from participating.
This, of course, leads you to being more lonely (not alone). Sometimes, even when I do want to reach out to people, I will hesitate because, hmm, what if I am disturbing the person and he/she doesn't really want to meet.
And no, going out and meeting new people does not work. Dude, I don't even know how one does that. And in that one rare instance if you do end up making new friends, they are the ones who prefer even more solitude than you do.
Today the weather was so lovely, I wanted to just sit with someone and maybe sip a cup of tea.
What did I do? Came home, saw my parents go out with their friends to watch Chennai Express (like seriously, despite zillion warnings, they choose to go watch it - well, then, they deserve it, and yes, they have much active social life than I do), had dinner by myself and now I'm writing this post. (I can still give much more details of my current state, but it will be too much information, and the lone reader who might be reading this post is not really interested in knowing that I have yet to wash my face and change into my home clothes - heh heh see what I did there?)
Anyway, the point is, I didn't reach out to anyone to meet. Even though I wanted to. Because a, I had promised I wont ask to meet. and b, no other reason. :|
Tomorrow I might actually go sit on a roadside bench and watch the vehicles pass by to get away from solitude.
Having said that, I do like people. Not a large group of people. They are intimidating, but a small, close group of people. Mostly, being out with just one more person. It helps me give my undivided attention to that person. Because if there are more people, I will invariably end up being more of an observer, and zone out most of the times. Unless I am asked to be an integral part of a conversation, I will refrain from participating.
This, of course, leads you to being more lonely (not alone). Sometimes, even when I do want to reach out to people, I will hesitate because, hmm, what if I am disturbing the person and he/she doesn't really want to meet.
And no, going out and meeting new people does not work. Dude, I don't even know how one does that. And in that one rare instance if you do end up making new friends, they are the ones who prefer even more solitude than you do.
Today the weather was so lovely, I wanted to just sit with someone and maybe sip a cup of tea.
What did I do? Came home, saw my parents go out with their friends to watch Chennai Express (like seriously, despite zillion warnings, they choose to go watch it - well, then, they deserve it, and yes, they have much active social life than I do), had dinner by myself and now I'm writing this post. (I can still give much more details of my current state, but it will be too much information, and the lone reader who might be reading this post is not really interested in knowing that I have yet to wash my face and change into my home clothes - heh heh see what I did there?)
Anyway, the point is, I didn't reach out to anyone to meet. Even though I wanted to. Because a, I had promised I wont ask to meet. and b, no other reason. :|
Tomorrow I might actually go sit on a roadside bench and watch the vehicles pass by to get away from solitude.
2 comments:
I have loved solitude, eversince I crossed the teenage, and got into 'problem solving' mode of life.
But I do continue to be crazy, and post random messages on FB on 'friends Walls', thereby attracting cute little 'school-going' kids & love to be friends with them, spend time hanging-out :D And, well, a strong passion like mine (Sarode) also helps me get connected to interesting new people.
Lastly, I love my 'alone time' sipping tea, standing in my little balcony watching speeding vehicles, loaded buses, and humans. Indeed very peaceful. I hope you enjoy your time tomorrow. :)
Finally: I have been eternally waiting for you to come visit me in Kolkata, @ my place. Jaldi aaonaaaaa :* ^_^ :)
Ohh... I really miss that tulsi pudina chai we had at Zen Cafe :(.
I'm like you, I don't like groups much either.
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