Wednesday, August 28, 2013

A bit on arranged marriage

Girls my age are not only married, but some also have babies and some of these babies are already going to school.

I've reached a stage where any male friend is a prospective groom and is met with 'agar ladka accha hai, toh humein koi problem nahin hai' whispers.

But I've not yet gone the arranged marriage way yet.  I've not met any guy/guy's parents to face rejection on that front yet. (I mean, getting rejected from complete strangers would be a new low for me, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that)

A recent discussion with a friend who finds his daily laughs via profile pictures of prospective brides got me thinking about something.

I said how I dread making a profile, mostly because I wouldn't know what to write, and more importantly, having grown on a staple diet of romantic comedies, finding love via matrimonial site is not romantic at all.

He said, you don't find love on, you find life partner.

What? No.

I don't want to settle for a life partner.  I want to marry someone because I want to, because I like him, and because I want to spend the rest of my life with him.  Not because I have to.

And so should the guy.  I mean, the guy should want to spend his life with me, and only then he should marry me because while marriage to some extent would involve adjustments to a lot of things (my mother in law is not gonna mix daal-rice and khichdi the way my mom does for me) I definitely don't just want to "settle" for someone and hope the feelings would develop. Or be completely indifferent to the love part about marriage.

So yes, not gonna spend the rest of my life with a guy who got into matrimony because he found me a 'suitable' life partner and not someone he would love.


Anonymous said...

Ah C'mon. "Statistics" say 90% of marriages in India are arranged and only 5% result in divorce.

Check out

7,498 shares and 2,593 like can't be wrong!

Nirwa Mehta said...

I never said it is wrong.

and just because marriages didn't result in divorce doesn't mean two people are happily married. I've seen a lot of people who remain married despite no love or respect for each other just because they have kids or because of 'society'.

I don't want to end up being a statistic.

I don't want to be stuck in a loveless marriage.

Nirwa Mehta said...

Hi, SEO Moz, stop spamming my blog. I will keep marking your comments as spam and deleting them. It is really annoying to do that every single day.

Get lost please.