Dear Young Self,

Dear Young Self,

So you've grown up to be me, so whatever you've done, you've done it right. Of course, a lot of things could've been different. But then, it won't be as much fun, no?

But then, you should've read more books. You picked up reading quite late, and there are thousands of books which you wish you had read, you have bought them and they are resting nicely in the bookshelf. Pick them up and read. Trust me, you won't regret. And if your friends think you are a nerd, well, so be it. They've grown up being losers anyway.

Internet will be addictive. You will meet wonderful people through this medium. They'll become your greatest friends. But, then, they will remain just that. You will know only their internet identity and only what they tell you. Go out and meet real people, make real friends, have crush on people you've actually met/seen. Virtual identity is just that. Virtual.

Before you make career decisions, think. Ask yourself if you like it. Look up other options. Do not just blindly follow the decisions your dad makes for you. He may be knowing a lot of things, but then, he doesn't know everything. Learn to say no, or eventually, when you grow up, and you don't listen to your dad, you'll get distanced.

Along with accepting failure, learn to accept heartbreaks. You will come across men who will hurt you so much that you'll start up distrusting every other guy who comes in your life. Don't let one person's act scar you for life. Have faith in yourself, your heart will heal itself. You are stronger than you think.

Be a little selfish. Love yourself a little more than you love people around you. It's not wrong.

Enjoy the #smalljoys of life.

Keep in touch with your friends. I know you like to go into your shell and not keep in touch withe people, but it only harms you. Go out, make an effort to keep in touch with them. Meet them, call them up. You'll feel better.

But then, all said and done, just be your awesome self. You may want to regret a few decisions, but then in the hindsight, it always happens for a reason.

lots of love,

older, but not wiser,

Me

Yes I Can

:)

So exams are not the barometer to show how awesome I am. But then, clearing one part of the toughest exam of the country (trust me, cracking IITJEE and CAT is *nothing* against the ordeal called chartered accountancy, still not sure why I took up this course) is just an awesome feeling.

It was not my first attempt at CA Final exam. If the three year long internship at Deloitte wasn't grueling enough, CA Final course was enough to make someone suicidal.

So, after a couple of attempts when I got an exemption (it's a complicated process how marks work, just read, don't go into technicalities - not worth the effort :P) in finance paper, I finally decided to take it one group (4 papers) at a time. So this time in May, I took 3 papers (1 subject exempt). For the first time, I stayed up all night for the last exam of law. I think after the exams got over, I was almost hallucinating. Staying up till late (say 3 am) is one thing, and not sleeping for a moment for over 36 hours is another. Especially when there is so much stress and you don't do it on a regular basis.

I got 58 in that paper. It is somehow very heartening. Not that it's a fantastic score. But it's not a borderline score for so much effort you've put in.

For now, seeing the words "PASS" written on my marksheet is super comforting.

I've finally managed to break the vicious cycle.

Yes, I can.

ps - yea, I think I am still hallucinating. Am travelling for work, currently in Coimbatore, leaving for Ooty on 21st, returning back home on Sunday. I feel highly emotional right now. I want to hug my mommy right now.

pps - I've cleared ONE group, and I still have ONE more group before I become a CA, which I will take in November, so I'm almost there :)

I Want

...Peace.

Too much to ask for?

Whats in a name?

Well, that depends on your name.

If your parents have named you Nirwa, then a lot.

So a lot of "new parents" are in search for a unique name for their precious child. Especially when you put up pictures of your "Prince" and "Princess" on Facebook, you must ensure that the name of your child is such that it garners comments like, "nice name!" from people you never wish you'd known.

I digress.

But not so long ago, when a little girl was born in a shady little dingy hospital in the lane of Ahmedabad, the overly joyous parents thought, let's give her a name which just rhymes with her sister's name. It doesn't really have to mean anything, but we'll indulge her by telling her that it is derived from some Sanskrit word. Of course, they said it with such conviction and confidence that the little girl believed them. In fact, she still believes them, and uses similar conviction and confidence to answer awkward questions by strangers, like, 'nice name, what does it mean?'.

But as they say, only those who've experienced it feel the pain.

Well, only when you are named Nirwa, do you understand the feeling when you get addressed as Mr. in all the mails. Its worse because your name is not even a unisex name, where you could give the benefit of doubt if the person has never heard your voice. (again, there are some girls who have manly voice and vice versa, so it'd be a lost case then.. ) So yes, I do get addressed as Mr. in a lot of mails.

And not just Mr. Nirav Mehta, but as Mr. NIRWA Mehta. I mean, really.

And then, there is the spelling. So, even when you read my name as Nirwa, see it in mail, or if you are writing it down, I spell it out for you.. so, despite all these efforts on my part, how hard is it for you to take down my correct spelling? It is NirWa and not NirVa. Ok?

I'd like to, however, mention that people are quite creative. Among other names that I've been given, some of them are..

NirMa (yea, you have no idea how hard it is being addressed as a detergent soap, i always want to sue my parents for that)

Niwas (hmm.. )

Nirwan (yea, i have no idea what it means, do they mean "nirvana"?)

Nirvana (no points for guessing that)

Niru (now, no offence meant, but I had an English teacher by that name, and never quite liked being called by the same name)

So yea, that's about it - these are the wrong names I've been addressed as.

But then, people who love me, call me Ninu, and they're allowed. :-)

So here is an advice - you may think that there's no big deal about names - but it's always nice to remember their names and address them with their correct names. Just because the other person is too polite to correct you everytime, doesn't mean you annoy the shit out of them. Also, if it's a joke, it just gets stale after sometime. It's not funny, and it's just annoying. I usually start ignoring you then.

Anyway, all that aside, it has finally rained in Ahmedabad. It rained as if God was making up for every hour the temperature here crossed 40 degrees.

:-)