Friday, March 21, 2014

Reasons why Gujju men are annoying

This post title does not have the number of reasons why Gujju men are annoying.  Mostly because as I start to write I don't have a definite number.  But then I didn't want to limit myself to a particular number either.  And then there is this OCD I have where I have to have an even numbered list, or maybe in multiples of 5.  (Precisely the reason BuzzFeed posts drive me up the wall at times)

Anyhoo.  As usual, I digress.

So, why am I so harsh on my brethren? Well, because they are annoying.  Of course, I'm sure not all Gujju men are like that and also a lot of non-Gujju men are equally annoying if not more.  But then, this is my blog and I write what I feel like.

Also because most men I've known till now have been Gujju, including family and friends, and trust me, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid, lame, insensitive, selfish and boring they all have been.

So, this is basically just a list of things I find annoying in the men I'm surrounded by.  Don't burn my effigies.

* They lack sensitivity.  Basic courtesy, sensitivity, being nice - does not come naturally to them.  In fact, taking care, and coming across as someone who cares is an alien concept to them.  You see, if they show the softer side to others, if they come and stand by you when you need a fucking shoulder to cry on, they become less manly.

* They lack sensibility.  Because why not. Why be sensible when you can be devoid of any human emotion? Why appear like you understand and empathise with someone's problems when you can be an ass and offer a solution when none is asked for? Because that's how things work. A girl comes to you only because she wants a solution from you.  *newsflash: we do not always (most of the times) want a solution. Just listen, we just want to vent, so learn to listen, nod, say comforting words like, hmm, haa, hmm, ooh, and do not fucking offer solutions at every opportunity that rises.

* Their sense of humour is : sexist, racist and non-veg. Any intellectually stimulating conversation, which would lead to healthy flirting is ruled out because they do not get it.  They find immense pleasure in forwarded whatsapp jokes which is a "non-veg" joke only because it has Hindi slang words for human reproductive organs. Apparently, for reasons unknown to humankind, they are incredibly funny.

* They are selfish.  This comes from observation within family.  Maybe I am related to all idiots of the highest order, but things like, walking together when you are out in a mall, or asking other person's opinion on what to order, or understanding that if you have come home after a tiring day at work, the lady in the house has been taking care of two children and hence, help yourself with water. Stop ordering her around. If she is waiting for you to come home to have dinner together, then wait for her for five minutes till she gets things ready - have dinner with her, not your fucking television. Yes, that may lead to communication and conversation and that is what you do. YOU TALK IN A RELATIONSHIP.  You also learn to enjoy silence between you two because that silence is not uncomfortable. Stop being selfish.

*  They either don't have an opinion or they think so highly of their own opinion that they do not even try listening to others' point of view.

I'm not sure which is worse.  How can you not have an opinion on anything? Yes, the country or world won't change by your viewpoint, but at least have a viewpoint! Lack of it is such a turnoff. And even more put offing is the one where their opinions, which are amazingly flawed, are so extreme that you start thanking that the same gene has skipped the ladies in your family. Yes, I find most of my male relatives annoying.

Okay, I have a lot more to say, but I am bored. Also because I am angry.  But mostly bored and sleepy.

And I'm being bitten by mosquitoes. And I am sleepy.

So I will sleep now.

PS: Don't burn effigies. Spread love, not war. If you're cute, single and not annoying, you know how to reach me. *wink*

42 comments:

Unknown said...

bhot galat likha

Anonymous said...

sahi likha tha bey,saala gujju

Anonymous said...

Omg loved it. My exact sentiments, along with the OCD issue, it feels like you are my long lost sister. More rants like this please :)

Anonymous said...

You think guju women are any different? They are as boring as dirt. They're all identical to each other. Nothing unique about them and the most boring of women you will ever meet. Ugly too.

Nirwa Mehta said...

I love receiving hate comments on this. Please direct hate mail on my mail too. From your real account. So I can google you and find out more on you and how you have issues and how you need to be rescued.

Yes I have Mother Teresa syndrome.

Anonymous said...

Apart from above , gujju women are very manipulative. As gujju men take over all power , women find all power around kitchen. Mother in laws want to feel the queen and daughter in laws are order takers. God forbids, if a new daughter in law is more skilled or independent, they make sure her life is hell. It is utmost insult to their culture if someone is capable and minding her own business. You can talk, which is useless. You can stop talking about issues, which is rude. Then they will ask you should talk about it, After talking they will welcome it and take the discussion to another level of manipulation - citing it is a cultural thing and you should be like them. They will say it is ok to feel that way, but just change your personality just like you change wall color , very easy. That's easy. During all this manipulating talks, they keep smiling as they are a united front and you are all alone. They will never admit what is their side of fault , of course. But they will "get hurt" every now and then easily. They are great believer of "Forget and forgive" advice to others but never apply to themselves. There are some men in the family who are basically bullies, they manipulate the game further in their power. Moms get power via them. It is all very nice game, very entertaining when you can relax and watch. Very stressful when you are the victim. God helps the victims. I think gujjus are less developed people of all races in India. Very annoying.

Unknown said...

You are exactly right I have a gujju friend who is extremely racist and close minded All points you used to describe a gujju correctly matches him, phew

Anonymous said...

Exactly , They are selfish and racist .

Anonymous said...

Yes very selfish and self centered.they pretend to be sensitive but actually very selfish.some geographical and demographic benifits they got hence they became rich.otherwise nobody even keep them as labour.low iq people. I hate them

Anonymous said...

yes i'm gujarathi and m proud to say i'm selfish

Anonymous said...

very true post. Unfortunately I am a victim. Gujarati culture is a cult culture. They believe they are saint, they are good and they are the best. Since they do not interact or learn anything about other cultures , they tend to think so. Very chauvinistic culture they have, they tend to suppress women, and when women become mother in laws, they think they can enjoy the power. Women find all power in kitchen but men often behave like women in Gujju families. Micromanaging women's closet, kitchen everything. Discussion and logic are not their cup of tea. They have been suppressed by their previous generations and they expect the next one to be as robotic as them. They love drama. In real life. They substitute real love with drama and if you can't do drama they think you don't love them. I can go on but everything boils down to one single point. They have very low IQ. Least developed people in whole India.

Anonymous said...

Damn!!!!!! I wish I had read this 3 years back. You are so so so apt. I wouldnt have married a gujju guy had i read this. But at least I got successful in tucking him off his moms pallu!!!

But still, I would say I hate being married to a gujju. :(

Anonymous said...

They are selfish and self centered scavengers. They live for money and only for money. They don’t even like to spend money on their parents and family. If they find Free food - many Gujjus in line, big sale - many gujjus sleep overnight to get in, family functions - default RSVP with everyone around them to eat and drink like pigs. Gujju women don’t have any power or control over their families, Yet they pretend to have everything in their hand. Give them money they will do anything. Give them a piece of gold they will do anything you want them to. They can sleep with anyone even when their husbands are aware of it. Because their men doesn’t have a backbone. Don’t be fooled by their vegetarian food habits and baba chants. They are like leaches, they will suck all your blood without much effort. Emotional blackmail, blame game, victimizing others, finding faults and demeaning your existence are some of their inherent traits and they often use them in their relationships & businesses. They will hold your hair if they got a chance or will touch your feet if necessary to get their job done. My sympathies to you are if you’re already suffering and my condolences to you if you’re already dead or ready to be killed and buried by a Gujju family.

Anonymous said...

Very well said. I can relate it to my two gujju friends. they truly lack sensitivity and sensibility and sense of humor especially.

Anonymous said...

So the thing I noticed about Gujarati men (having dated 1) and being friends with quite a few Gujaratis (I’m not Gujju myself) is that there is a MAJOR push for perfection - and I mean this more than anyone else in the millennial generation.

I noticed that they are extremely critical of every little thing (never had this with other guys I’ve dated, which also includes other Indians. I once spilled a little coffee and 2 years later this Gujarati man remembered it as an embarrassing moment. Something like this would’ve been brushed off by anyone else. His Mom would spend 6 hours cooking aloo paronthas while it took me an hour. She was so afraid of the paronthas being slightly imperfect, meanwhile the guys didn’t do anything to help her in the kitchen, took about 4 minutes to eat, and she would spend another 4 hours cleaning obsessively. I take an hour to make paronthas, he would say it only took you an hour, obviously it’s not going to taste good. I started cleaning obsessively and he would say it’s still not clean enough because I didn’t vacuum the ceiling like his Mom does. Meanwhile, I have a full time job, working on my doctorate, work out everyday, have my own house, and still picking up his clothes off the living room couch.

Keep in mind I cook him vegan food everyday, became a vegetarian for him, and pick up after him everyday as well as my diabetic cat and his dog’s diarrhea from my floor that he doesn’t touch. He doesn’t take me on dates, comes home after midnight everyday because he wants to smoke weed with his friends instead, and I’ve stopped complaining. I don’t ask him to pay me rent in my house. I have sex with him everyday so that he doesn’t cheat on me again.

He criticized me for the fact that he thinks that when I speak it’s all useless which is why he doesn’t respond to what I have to say (namely because it doesn’t involve politics or his business). I can’t joke with him that much because he doesn’t always get it. I recently tried staying quiet on a vacation in his car ride all the way there. Everything was fine until he complained that I didn’t sit on the hotel toilet seat (I think that’s disgusting) and as a result I left it a little messy. I apologized to him but inside I was so scared of what he was thinking. I asked him if it bothered him that I don’t sit on public toilet seats and he said “no one I know leaves the toilet seat dirty ever.” I said “do you think other girls are better than me, no other girls you’ve dated have made mistakes?” He said “no, never like this.” I just flipped out and said “find someone better than me, I’m not good enough for you!”

I really don’t believe he feels that I’m not good enough for him. Someone please tell me, is this all Gujaratis?? Or is this just a really insane case of me dating a narcissist? I want to leave but I’m in love with him still.

Unknown said...

Please do yourself a favor and leave that bastard. And harass him too actually, as he deserves it. Omg I dated a gujju for just a year and it was the most toxic shit ever. Soooo glad I got outta that shitshow.

Anonymous said...

Yes You are right. Gujus are very very selfish people. They always manipulate things. They only need people from same community (only gujus). They will not talk to you if you are from other caste.Very cheap and boring people.
They are always self centred people who need money money money and very kanjus types of people they are.
They dont respects other community people, very annoying they are they think they are God, bcoz of vegeaterian eating habbit and all. But their children eats Non veg in resturant. I have one guju frnd who eats non veg outside on every occasion birthday, party etc.
People from U.P, Punjab, Bihar, Maharashtra are 10000 times better than Self centered gujus. Atleast they help each other and respect you.

Unknown said...

Iam also gujarati but i don't wanna call myself gujarati. They boasts that their state is developed and role model, indeed our state is developed but mind isn't developed, gujaratis are aggressive and non understanding, insensitive and bad mouthed specially womens, gujju womens doesn't like presence of any relative of husband (mother in law or anyone) they are narcissistic and lacks logic, they always try to dominate others and critize them even if they done many mistakds they never accepts (they have a quote: fault is never mine and if then do it whatever you can) means never accept fault and if someone try to tell their fault they just fight like angry gorillas. Selfish, insensitive,doible standard,greedy, self centered, disprespectful, even toward their parents, toxic also, their womens are just too terrible, because of gujju womens i going through a trauma since 2 years, they doesn't even try to understand other 's pov and pressurize others to do as they want, they don't know where what to do and just do it without even thinking for a moment,

Anonymous said...

Gujjus are not selfish. They are SELFIS. Chutya public. Even an otherwise decent Gujju can't escape the indictment of his genes. Some gujjuness or other will always leak through.

Anonymous said...

Being a non-gujju and having grown up in Gujarat, I can attest to almost everything written. Extremely bigoted, self-centred and selfish behaviour towards others. Money rules the roost. The young chaps would fixate their eyes on the phones the whole day while playing with their dad's black money in the share market. They may have bundles of liquid cash but lack social understanding and compassion towards others. They have a superficial knowledge of business and only do 'jugaad' through their family and community/caste networks. No traffic sense or other kinds of civil sense. During navratri and uttrayan, they keep blasting music at such high decibels that it may crack your ear drums.

Anonymous said...

I am a gujji, i can confirm they are all cunts

Anonymous said...

agree , gajju are selfish and arrogant , less knowledge more confident .. never trustworthy .

Anonymous said...

Agree, Gujjus are very aggressive, selfish and insensitive. I had a gujju roomate once. Faced a lot of issues because of him. Any reading this, please take this as a caution and do not take in gujju roommates.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mehta,

I ECHO you. I have spend my 25-30 days at different place in Gujarat. And come to know like you are 100% right. They are really pathetic when it comes to common human behaviour

Anonymous said...

Bro i just got a job here and every thing about these fucking worthless narcissistics are true as fuck. They are completely inclined towards money and selfish fuckers. Help me god

Anonymous said...

OMG 😱
What a load of rubbish.
Not sure where you people are all from !!!! regarding these comments about Gujarati‘s.
This is an Asian thing whether you’re Gujarati, Hindu Punjabi, Pakistani whatever.

I have worked in an industry with a full of different types on Asian women, and they are all the same specially The immigrants and the first generation. Before making comments about Gujarati people w just look at your own parents and yourself and see how toxic they are !!
just because they work hard and are wealthy that does not mean that arrogant and selfish. Arrogance and selfish is in all Asian culture and it’s human nature so please give it a rest and look in your own homes first and your family and relatives. I’m sure you will find a lot of jealousy, arrogancy selfishness, greediness in each and everyone of them.
I cannot believe that in 2023, I am still reading this kind of rubbish 😡

Anonymous said...

Going with gujju roommates was the worst mistake of my life. Manipulative, selfish, bigoted and back stabbers. Never share a space with them and If you are then just be very cautious. They will always try to bring you down and attack your weaknesses.

Anonymous said...

Everything you said and all the comments are so true!

I noticed a lot of Gujjus, especially the men are such narcissists. Every Gujju man I know has cheated on his wife or girlfriend and blames the girl for “not cooking right” or “not cleaning enough” even if the girl works and is successful! And the crazy thing is, a lot of these girls know they are getting cheated on but they stick around because they were taught from a young age they are second class citizens. So sad :(

Anonymous said...

What is it with Gujarati guys and girls not eating together or even sitting next to each other? Other people I hang out with everyone integrates…Gujaratis never do. Even when we go out the girls and the guys always stay away from each other. Someone told me once it’s because they are used to it from some Swaminarayan Mandir they go to. Is that true? I’m a non Gujarati but I’m Indian.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you 100%, I have an annoying gujrati mother in law, who has the exact she traits, god she's intolerable, I hate her so much!!

Anonymous said...

Wow

Anonymous said...

💯

Anonymous said...

I am A Gujrati and I Don't Want to be Gujrati Anymore

Here in Gujrat People Usually try to Manipulate and Dominate Others..

Gujrati Judge Everyone by their Dressing sense.

in Every Hillstation of India they Speak Loudly and Irritiate Other People.

They think if i pays Money then its My Area

Always shows Their Presence Everywhere

Some Amdavadi Are Barks A Lot that i am Amdavadi I am Amdavadi.....maru Gujrat Maru Gujrat....

Which is Fuckin Annoying

Anonymous said...

Mother fucker asshole

Anonymous said...

I was about to get married to a gujju boy with whom I fell in love not because he was good maybe because I had a delusional idea of him being the guy of my dreams coming all the way from a different country to marry me. With time I started realising how manipulating and complaining he is on every little thing. He would never agree with anything that I say, if I say morning he will say night. I still was ignoring everything because my delusional self was trying to see the good in him. With time I realised he doesn't care about me at all. Talks a ton about loving me and that putting effort is louder than words. But neither his "I love you" felt real to me nor I could see any of his efforts towards me. He would not text me the whole day, no calls even. Every weekend I think maybe today I will get time to talk... but the entire day he is either sleeping... spending time with his sister or going out with his friends,,, doesn't even bother to call me...!! Even if he calls... just for 10 mins for formality..!! Recently I met him in in Mumbai for 2 days... i wanted to spend some time with him.. he forcefully dragged me to stay with his frnds so that I get to know them... now he got all drunk and started dancing with his female friends like don't exist for that moment and then went to sleep like anything...!! Didn't even care to spend some time to talk to me or love me..!

These people are so insensitive, rude, and unromantic,, that they think of how masculine they are but in reality they are so evidently feminine. They just don't know how to express love and put efforts. They will not even look back after biding you bye and walk away... they will ask you to put your opinion... if you don't - you are immature.. if you do- they will get aggressive and pull you down make sure to make you believe that you are wrong leaving you feel miserable. If you are a hopeless romantic - they will make your life pathetic... you will start to question your worth with them... these people will call you pretty and flirt with other girls in front of you like it is so normal... they are far from being gentleman... they are like leeches... they will make you feel like you are good for nothing even when you are incredible and great...!!! Never marry a gujju boy.... they have huge egos even when they got nothing as such to have that attitude...if you are someone who wants a loving caring and provider man (non materialistic) and emotionally available or I should put it as If you want a MAN in life... never marry a gujju... they are not MEN..

I left this guy bcz he was affecting my mental peace.. fucking up my head so much that I started to question myself...even after sharing my concern he was blaming me only...was so unavailable always and carried his ego everywhere....!! I am still upset because as i mentioned I was in love with the delusional image of him being the kind of person I was in love with.... maybe i will get over this soon.. and find peace and happiness in the person i deserve to be with..!

Anonymous said...

Omg I feel so seen and I'm surprised by the number of people having the exact same opinions as me. Gujju men has such high ego and think so pathetically highly of themselves(which is only in their minds actually) but they are actually so feminine. (I'm not saying that feminine men are bad or anything, I personally infact like feminine men but in this context I mean like they are the total opposite of what they think they are)
Please for the love of God, never ever date or think about marrying a gujju boy. Every single thing ppl have said in this blog is true. I have never met men as selfish, self-centred, narcissistic, manipulative and lustful as gujju men.
I relate so much to the commentor above. I thought I had found the guy of my dreams and I loved him with everything I had got. I tried my best to see from his viewpoint and try understand him better and always tried to be there for him whenever he needed me, but he never ever saw my efforts. It took me so long to get out of my delusions and realize that I were played and groomed. I'm so so glad to be finally out of it. After the breakup I've started to realize how manipulative and toxic our relationship was and how blind I were in love.
The whole time we dated, he never acknowledged about making our relationship public which was very sketchy but still I didn't question it. He spent almost all the time trying to get me "in the mood". He rarely cared to talk about our day to day lives and never put in any time or effort to make it work. When I told him I felt like I were being used, he acted so shocked and asked what kind of nonsense I were talking about. He made it as if I were the one in the wrong for feeling that way.
I got so sick and tired of trying to explain my very basic needs to him and I were done begging for the bare minimum that I decided to leave and I'm so proud that I did.

So fellas, it is in your best intentions that I'm telling you, never ever date a gujju or think of marrying them especially if you're a hopeless romantic who would love them with your whole heart. They'll leave you with extreme emotional wounds and will manipulate you into thinking that they were never the problem. They are just incapable of love. Date a gujju only if you are looking for a casual relationship. Long-term and loving relationships with them are just impossible.

Anonymous said...

Oh,poor you-let me guess- you are a gujarati as well! Gujaratis are the most annoying & stingy people. Wealth is not everything-it’s important to be humble and nice to people(non gujaratis).

Anonymous said...

💯,you nailed it ❤️

Anonymous said...

lol!!so damn true-dealing with gujarati mother in law-cooks terrible food and her daughter who is divorced doesn’t know a thing but still the best,she is ready to ruin my marriage as well and husband has no say-so I am the victim here.

Anonymous said...

Ditto! I am suffering too from past 9 years

Anonymous said...

Girl leave. I dated a gujju for a year only to end up getting cheated on by him. They’re extremely narcissistic and will make your life miserable if you are better than them in any aspect. It isn’t love, they make you so weak that you’ll lack the strength to walk out of the relationship.

Anonymous said...

All things are 100% correct.. me and my parents are travelling to Gujarat and we are here from last 10 days.. and all the experiences with the gujratis were pathetic, there is no one good word left for them.. they are so disrespectful and ready to fight always. We never had such experiences we all had graveyard lot in india..but never seen such state seriously. To them their Gujarati brother is more important.