Friday, March 21, 2014

Reasons why Gujju men are annoying

This post title does not have the number of reasons why Gujju men are annoying.  Mostly because as I start to write I don't have a definite number.  But then I didn't want to limit myself to a particular number either.  And then there is this OCD I have where I have to have an even numbered list, or maybe in multiples of 5.  (Precisely the reason BuzzFeed posts drive me up the wall at times)

Anyhoo.  As usual, I digress.

So, why am I so harsh on my brethren? Well, because they are annoying.  Of course, I'm sure not all Gujju men are like that and also a lot of non-Gujju men are equally annoying if not more.  But then, this is my blog and I write what I feel like.

Also because most men I've known till now have been Gujju, including family and friends, and trust me, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid, lame, insensitive, selfish and boring they all have been.

So, this is basically just a list of things I find annoying in the men I'm surrounded by.  Don't burn my effigies.

* They lack sensitivity.  Basic courtesy, sensitivity, being nice - does not come naturally to them.  In fact, taking care, and coming across as someone who cares is an alien concept to them.  You see, if they show the softer side to others, if they come and stand by you when you need a fucking shoulder to cry on, they become less manly.

* They lack sensibility.  Because why not. Why be sensible when you can be devoid of any human emotion? Why appear like you understand and empathise with someone's problems when you can be an ass and offer a solution when none is asked for? Because that's how things work. A girl comes to you only because she wants a solution from you.  *newsflash: we do not always (most of the times) want a solution. Just listen, we just want to vent, so learn to listen, nod, say comforting words like, hmm, haa, hmm, ooh, and do not fucking offer solutions at every opportunity that rises.

* Their sense of humour is : sexist, racist and non-veg. Any intellectually stimulating conversation, which would lead to healthy flirting is ruled out because they do not get it.  They find immense pleasure in forwarded whatsapp jokes which is a "non-veg" joke only because it has Hindi slang words for human reproductive organs. Apparently, for reasons unknown to humankind, they are incredibly funny.

* They are selfish.  This comes from observation within family.  Maybe I am related to all idiots of the highest order, but things like, walking together when you are out in a mall, or asking other person's opinion on what to order, or understanding that if you have come home after a tiring day at work, the lady in the house has been taking care of two children and hence, help yourself with water. Stop ordering her around. If she is waiting for you to come home to have dinner together, then wait for her for five minutes till she gets things ready - have dinner with her, not your fucking television. Yes, that may lead to communication and conversation and that is what you do. YOU TALK IN A RELATIONSHIP.  You also learn to enjoy silence between you two because that silence is not uncomfortable. Stop being selfish.

*  They either don't have an opinion or they think so highly of their own opinion that they do not even try listening to others' point of view.

I'm not sure which is worse.  How can you not have an opinion on anything? Yes, the country or world won't change by your viewpoint, but at least have a viewpoint! Lack of it is such a turnoff. And even more put offing is the one where their opinions, which are amazingly flawed, are so extreme that you start thanking that the same gene has skipped the ladies in your family. Yes, I find most of my male relatives annoying.

Okay, I have a lot more to say, but I am bored. Also because I am angry.  But mostly bored and sleepy.

And I'm being bitten by mosquitoes. And I am sleepy.

So I will sleep now.

PS: Don't burn effigies. Spread love, not war. If you're cute, single and not annoying, you know how to reach me. *wink*

8 comments:

Unknown said...

bhot galat likha

Anonymous said...

sahi likha tha bey,saala gujju

Anonymous said...

Omg loved it. My exact sentiments, along with the OCD issue, it feels like you are my long lost sister. More rants like this please :)

Anonymous said...

You think guju women are any different? They are as boring as dirt. They're all identical to each other. Nothing unique about them and the most boring of women you will ever meet. Ugly too.

Nirwa Mehta said...

I love receiving hate comments on this. Please direct hate mail on my mail too. From your real account. So I can google you and find out more on you and how you have issues and how you need to be rescued.

Yes I have Mother Teresa syndrome.

Anonymous said...

Apart from above , gujju women are very manipulative. As gujju men take over all power , women find all power around kitchen. Mother in laws want to feel the queen and daughter in laws are order takers. God forbids, if a new daughter in law is more skilled or independent, they make sure her life is hell. It is utmost insult to their culture if someone is capable and minding her own business. You can talk, which is useless. You can stop talking about issues, which is rude. Then they will ask you should talk about it, After talking they will welcome it and take the discussion to another level of manipulation - citing it is a cultural thing and you should be like them. They will say it is ok to feel that way, but just change your personality just like you change wall color , very easy. That's easy. During all this manipulating talks, they keep smiling as they are a united front and you are all alone. They will never admit what is their side of fault , of course. But they will "get hurt" every now and then easily. They are great believer of "Forget and forgive" advice to others but never apply to themselves. There are some men in the family who are basically bullies, they manipulate the game further in their power. Moms get power via them. It is all very nice game, very entertaining when you can relax and watch. Very stressful when you are the victim. God helps the victims. I think gujjus are less developed people of all races in India. Very annoying.

Unknown said...

You are exactly right I have a gujju friend who is extremely racist and close minded All points you used to describe a gujju correctly matches him, phew

Anonymous said...

Exactly , They are selfish and racist .