Monday, March 3, 2014

My idea of worldpeace

Just because I'm not a beauty pageant contestant, doesn't mean I don't have dreams of world domination peace.

Of course it won't happen overnight, but you got to start somewhere, right?  And what better person to give pointers for world peace than yours truly, who has been sending out to the universe her idea of becoming world president, in case becoming God fails.

Anyway, I digress.

Here are a few steps that will bring anger quotient in the world substantially and thereby taking us towards the ultimate goal of attaining world peace.

1.  Free, unlimited, uninterrupted, high speed, censor-free Wi-Fi. Because we still haven't got technology through which trees give out Wi-Fi signals. #outrage

2.  A standard code of preparation of tea in offices.  And even coffee.  Which includes no elaichi in coffee.  Who puts elaichi in coffee anyway.  It's like someone started out making tea, and midway decided to make coffee instead.

3.  Traffic rules for pedestrians and cyclists.  Now, I'm not sure if they even exist in India, and if they do, please implement *laughs till tears roll down cheeks, hey, one tear droplet just lodged itself in my dimples. OMG. I'm so cute* and if they don't, please to let Anna Hazare know about this grave situation so he can go on a hunger strike.  Oh wait, is hunger strike too old fashioned now that we have (former) chief ministers staging dharnas?  Anyway, the point here is, pedestrians who jaywalk, while listening to music, and deciding to cross the road just when the signal for pedestrians turns red deserve to walk into a fresh, warm pile of cow dung.  And cyclists.  Because really.

4.  Lizard free world.  Because I want to sleep peacefully without having fear of a pair of eyes looking at me sleep in the darkness.  Or take a shower without prying eyes of lizzie babies running across as soon as you reach for that shampoo bottle.  Or opening a cupboard and not having a lizard jump at you because you disturbed her morning workout of running over your clothes.  There has got to be a way out.  Also, did I tell you 39 new species of cockroaches are identified in US and Mexico? Meaning, we all may just need to pack our backs and strap ourselves on Mangalyan 2 and become friendly neighbours of Mars Rover.

5.  I don't really have anything for the 5th point, but I like to end lists in the multiples of 5.  Just an OCD of sorts.  If I end in say 4 or 7 numbers or something like that, I get very restless. 

Of course, you need a concluding paragraph.  And I don't have much to say here either, except, my parents are travelling this whole week starting Wednesday and I would be grateful if any of you wishes to ask me out for lunch and/or dinner.  Mother doesn't like it when I cook because it is "her kitchen" and she hides stuff, like garam masala and dhania powder and garlic and all.  The essential things that make food taste awesome.  So drop in a line if you wish to.

Till I come up with more ideas,


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