Postcard

There is something charming about handwritten letters.

I've been wanting to receive them since forever now, and today, while driving to meet a friend, I realised I haven't written a letter to anyone in the longest time either.

So, I have decided, tomorrow morning, I'm going to go to the post office and getting myself a bunch of postcards and sending them out. It doesn't matter if I have anything to tell them, but a little thought on how they have been a part of my life doesn't hurt anyone.

So, well. Tomorrow is the beginning of Project Postcard.

Announcing New Festival

There are lot of bad things happening in the country and the world.  It is time we should look for reasons to celebrate.

So what better reason to celebrate than a festival?

And everyone should have a back up career plan.  So in case I don't end up being the Prime Minister of the country, or the World President or if my ponzi scheme doesn't take off, or you know, no one takes me seriously as Nirmala Baby or Sai Baby, I should have a Plan B.

Plan B has been to declare myself as God.  And why not? I mean, I am just like God, I work in mysterious ways too. 

And like every God, I too deserve a festival of my own.  What better to celebrate than my own birth?

So in a few weeks' time, as I turn a year older and a year wiser, I'm going to declare it as a universal festival.

4th February shall be known as - International Day of Awesomeness, or as we Indians would like to call it Nirwa Dashami.


I'm still working out the details on how to bring in the celebrations.  Never knew creating a new festival will be such hard work.

In the mean time, kindly give in your suggestions on how you all would want to celebrate my birthday.

xoxo.

Who is bad?

Kansa is bad. Why? Because he is bad.

The other day, my niece called me in the morning and told me she would like to see me when she gets home from school.  It is hard for me to say no, and even harder to say no to her.  So I went to my cousin's place just before she returned from school so I can play peek-a-boo with her.  [yeah, even though I say I will dance only if the script demands, when she asks me to dance, I cannot say no.]

Now, she also needed to nap, and she insisted she'll nap only if I nap with with and we tell each other stories.  From my own previous experience of telling story on demand, I have realised I suck at it.  I'm so bad with coming up with kiddy stories that I almost felt ashamed of myself.  I have more respect for nursery and kindergarten teachers because kids can ask a lot of questions, and I found myself at loss of answers for most of them.

So, it was story time.  She brought up her story book of Krishna (Kahnudo, as she fondly calls him) and was pointing at various pictures of Krishna.  At one page, she pointed at a picture of Kansa. Our conversation went something like this: (translated to Hindi from Gujarati)

She: Yeh Kansa hai, uspe gussa karu?
Me: Kyun gussa karna hai?
She: Kyunki woh bura hai.
Me: Woh bura kyun hai?
She: Kyunki woh bura hai.
Me: Lekin agar tum uspe gussa karogi, toh tum buri nahin banogi?
She: Na
Me: Kyun?
She: Kyunki woh bura hai.

She is 3.

In her mind, Kansa is bad.  And there is no reason.

She will grow up believing Kansa (or anyone else we've told her is bad) is a bad person without questioning our judgement.

Are we letting our prejudices, what is good and what is bad in our opinion influence other people's perception about people?

People tell me I am trusting.  My father refuses to accept that I can make a sane decision.  I ask what is wrong in being trusting? Isn't there too much negativity in the world already? Why do we have to question intentions of other people before we befriend them? Yes, so we all should be cautious, and I do not deny that, but why do we have to go with an assumption that the other person is bad?

Why are we so keen to let our own prejudices cloud other people's opinions?

Why wasn't that 3 year old told the story of Kansa as is and let her decide whether he was bad or not? Why do we have to teach morals we think are right? Why not keep things open to interpretation and let everyone draw their own conclusions?

And in my limited exposure to people, complete strangers, especially those who I have come to know through the medium of internet, most of them are fabulous people.  Most have turned out to be great friends. And having said that, I know there are creeps over the internet too.  But that doesn't mean I go about doubting anyone I come across.

I'd still like to believe there is more good than bad in the world.

The NRI season

Gujarat has 4 seasons. Summer (10 months), Monsoon (2 weeks and flooded), Winter (1 week) and NRI.

NRI season is native to Gujarat and brings with itself migratory humans, who have moved and settle in Ummerika, but visit India every year when the winters in Ummerika get too harsh.

Disclaimer: This is a compilation of observations over the years. And just some of them. There may or may not be part 2 depending on how much the current batch of NRIs have annoyed me.

How to spot an NRI?

They are easy to spot.  They will be almost always sporting shorts amidst pool of woolens because Gujarati winter is the peak of summer for them, even if the rest of Gujarat is experiencing cold wave. (my fingers have frozen as I type this and so has my nose)

They will also be the one wearing dhinchak shiny clothes because they can.  They are always dressed to party.  Oh, and they are usually here to get their sons or daughters married.

How to spot an NRI wedding?

That's easy too.  So basically, Gujarat has a ka-muhurat (inauspicious) time, sometime after 13/14 December to 14 January.  They say marriages should not take place during this time for reasons which are too long to be explained here.  Anyway, NRIs are hipsters and do not believe in this.  So, almost all the weddings that happen during this time, which coincides with the NRI arrival time, are NRI weddings. 

They will always be at posh banquet halls, but then, they will also complain how they are ripped apart by these halls.  Truth is, they think India is still pre1990s era.  They somehow think India is unaffected by inflation. And of course, because they have NRI tattooed on their forehead, they are charged more. 

Frankly, if I were to deal with their tantrums, I'd totally charge them double just to piss them off.

How do you know an NRI has an iPhone, iPad, an MBP and and iPod? 

He takes them along wherever he goes.  I have a feeling he Facetimes himself from his iPhone to his iPad, because he is so vain, but he takes them along and waits for the people from third world country to look awestruck with his gadgets.  Little does he know that no one really cares about that.

How does an NRI protect his property in India?

He uses camera.  He puts half a dozen camera in and around his house, and transfers live feed to his computer back in US so that he knows whenever someone enters his house.  Little does he know that within a week of his returning to US, a bunch of monkeys managed to mess up the internet connection wires such that the only way to fix them was to go to their terrace, and that cannot be done because the keys were in US with them, because they don't trust humans.  All in all, we had a good laugh because in last 8 months, more monkeys came and pooped all over the balcony and the outer walls. 

Sigh.  I could write longer on this, but I'll just get myself some nice warm tea with lots of ginger and curl up and read a book.