Saturday, August 23, 2014

India 2020

Every great leader has a vision for India in 2020.

The first time someone had a vision for India in 2020 was at the turn of the century when the 20 years looked too long.  Well, for last 10 years, India was stuck in a limbo, except dial up internet was replaced by WiFi. <3 p="">
But as future #WorldPresident, I have a vision too.  And though adjusting for last 10 years of #PolicyParalysis (I love the word, and also showing off how such a hot shot journalist I am now) I should actually be laying down vision for India 2030, but 2020 has a good ring to it.

Anyhooo. So what do I envision as India's future?

Here are some pointers.

1.  Pedestrians will come to realise that roads are not their pappa's jaagir.  And that their safety, especially when they are jaywalking with earphones plugged in, is not in the hands of the motorists.  Maybe we will create a separate layer of land above the current land, like flyover/skywalk type, but covering entire earth and the pedestrians can do whatever the shit they want on their own land.  Just stop walking on the roads.

2.  Every individual to have a climate, temperature controlled capsule which they can wear.  Like personal orb of sort which they wear around and it keeps them cool as they want.

3.  Ahmedabad may be declared remote territory of the Sun.  Because there can be no other reason why it is so fucking hot here.

4.  Autorickshaws to be replaced by Rickocopters (an autorickshaw and helicopter hybrid) which runs on paan pichkaaris as fuel.  This will solve multiple problems.  Ricky Martins (Autorickshaw drivers) will stop paan pichkaari on the road.  And since the autorickshaws cannot possibly go any faster on the road as they have exhausted the highest speed humany possible for something as terrifying as the three-wheeled wonder that it is, getting them off the road and on the air may just solve half the world's problems.

Or OMG. They can join the jaywalking pedestrians on the layer parallel to the earth.

5.  Cars will start running on sheer willpower.  Because renewable sources of energy is too mainstream.  Also because it will totally advocate the law of attraction.

6.  Which brings me to myself, because I am India and India is me and I should totally be able to earn just enough to travel the world, buy all the gadgets I want and watch romantic comedy and criminal drama movies.  By that time, should also totally trick someone to fall in louuuw with me.

I am bored now. Also, got to take shower because it is Saturday and is it really a Saturday if your mother has no errands lined up for you to run?

Oh and did I tell you parents to be in Bangalore till next weekend. WHEEEEEE. I am home alone and totally going to partaaaaay.


I have no friends. :|

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