Sunday, October 20, 2013

Close your eyes, and no one can see you

(Disclaimer: This is based on the observation of younger nieces, nephews and cousins in my family and may not be true for everyone.)

I have a problem with the way current generation of teenagers is being raised. 

Every picture this cousin of mine uploads on Facebook, her mother, who's my aunt, comments, "wow, perfect", "muaaah", "beautiful", "simply gorgeous".  I'm not exaggerating when I say every picture.  My cousin is 14/15 year old.  Most of the pictures have straightened hair, long dangling earrings, make up (pink or red lipstick among other things).  She has a crush on a kid who's her neighbour.  He's also 16/17 year old.  My aunt always makes it a point to "tease" her about her crush.  Oh, and his parents are usually referred to as her "in-laws".  She says she has not even said "hi" to the guy. 

Don't get me wrong.  I have no issues with parents thinking their kids are the most perfect creatures ever. (my parents don't think so, and sometimes go out of their way to point out my flaws)   But is it just me who thinks it is wrong to keep doing that? Are parents that blind that they never see any flaws in their offspring? And have I told you how this cousin of mine is super mean to another cousin of the same age? And how her mother doesn't see anything wrong in it because the other cousin "is dumb"?

And "in-laws"? Seriously? I'm all for being friendly to your children, such that they do not hesitate in coming to you with their problems. (I never approached my parents with my problems, but then, I never approach anyone) But isn't this wrong? Why are parents trying so hard to be a teenager themselves? Aren't they supposed to be mature? Yes, having a crush is normal, dating is okay but this? Seriously? Another cousin tells her 14 year old (when he tells her about his crush) that "she's okay, but she's not as fair as me" and "she likes you only because you are cool." And this nephew of mine is currently in his 10th board, and is flunking in most subjects in school.  Why not encourage him to spend the time he spends in being cool for studying?  And no, he's not Bill Gates in the making because really, his behaviour is disturbing at times and I genuinely think he needs professional help.

And then my four year old niece.  Her staple diet includes chocos, oreos and bread and cheese.  And a pinch of salt and spoonfuls of sugar as a treat.  Yes, she enjoys pinch of salt. And spoonfuls of sugar.  And what is most appalling is that her parents do not see anything wrong in that. They laugh and think it is cute.  Also, know what else she does is cute? almost choking her younger 1 year old sister with a pillow because "she loves her so much, but doesn't know how to express love".  Such situations need to be handled with care, but it can only be handled if people realise that it is a problem. 

You, even though you are a close family member, and the said nieces and cousins love you, and you love them, you cannot teach manners or you cannot say no to them.

You cannot tell them that while there is nothing wrong with wearing makeup, anything that may attract unwanted attention from the opposite sex should be done when you are old enough to handle things. And understand the difference between good and bad attention.  I'm not saying rapes happen because of the way women dress.  Or that you must dress modestly to stop getting male attention. (seriously, what does dressing modestly mean?)  But all I'm saying is that a 12-13 year olds are not mature enough. And they need to be taught how to handle attention and probably be taught that they need to focus their energies on studying.

And once I was privy to a conversation between my 13 year old cousins, where cousin 1 was telling cousin 2 about her friend who "smooched" her boyfriend.  Her mother was also overhearing it.  My aunt said, "I don't think she would've smooched, who would smooch her?"  Wow.  Oh, yes, the same aunt who thinks her daughter is perfect.  I was taken aback and I have replayed the conversation in my head over and over trying to accept that she might not really mean it.  But no. She meant it.

I'm not sure I should forward them this link on Stuebenville high school.  Because really, perfect girls are safe from anything criminal that could happen around them.

Are parents these days really that delusional?


Shah said...

Educational grading has been taken beyond a point where a below average student is a below par human being and for some reasons the Parents today ARE delusional. Their spawn/offspring are perfect little wonders that are beyond mistakes made by mortals. Many are beyond reproach.
Good Day.

Nirwa Mehta said...

sigh. sad.

I hope I don't turn into one if and when I have kids.

Good night. :p