Interpretation of Nightmares

So everyone gets them. Few days back when I woke up panicky about continuous nightmares, a friend told me, not to worry, because nightmares don't come true, dreams do.  It was kind of soothing.  Nightmares started fading after I wake up.

But then, the kind of dream that came true is little disturbing.  I don't know how to put it without across.  So I had songs being played in my dreams.  Hindi songs, of course. Which is surprising because I'm not much of a music person.  Anyway, the song in context was this: 

It's weird, because I have no idea why I was singing this song.  I hadn't seen Shaan lately and I bet even Mazhar Khan wouldn't be singing this in his grave. (Yes, the actor in this song is Mazhar Khan, who was once married to Zeenat Aman, and I have no idea why I know all this trivia)

Now, entire last week I kept waking up and singing this song and was shocked out of my wits when I switched on the tv last night and they were showing shaan with precisely this song being played. I was like, zomg, my dream has come true.

Ok, stop thinking my dreams are silly, because I'm about to tell you my last night's dream before I forget completely.

So I was back to school.  No idea why because today, I'm just glad school is over, no wishes to live those school days again.  So yeah, I was back to school, and I could remember the classrooms and corridors perfectly as if I am actually there.  The small room where our Gujarati and Sanskrit sir would sit correcting our papers trying hard not to give us passing marks.  The library where I predicted Hrithik Roshan would be better than Abhishek Bachchan (you see, both had their first movies launched recently).  So I saw a bunch of my classmates sitting there gossiping, like always.

But.. I was walking towards another room.  Which was class 8 classroom. (Right across boys' loo, and it smelt ewww)

And I was wearing a Batman costume, with a cape and all.  One guy in the class was wearing Pope's costume.

And then, someone asked me what I was doing, I think it was our Geography teacher.  She asked me what was I doing wearing such outrageous clothes.  I simply said, "I'm the hero you deserve, but not the one you need".  Classmates' jaws reached the floor and I put the cape around my face and ran out.

This is bizarre on so many levels.  But I guess that's what dreams are, right?  Now if only I had a personal dream interpreter.

Welcome home, Baby V!

Baby V

When we got to know my cousin's wife was expecting their second child, we were all excited.  No cynicism in the world can dampen celebration of a new life.  Their first child is a girl, my niece, who keeps making her presence felt on this blog sometimes.

Some said if they get a boy child, their family would be perfect.  The parents, however, wanted a second girl child because my cousin said he would never be able to love his son the way he loves his daughter.

For us, those who are emotionally stable, a healthy child was all that we prayed for.  The baby was due in December end, and everything was smooth.  Till my bhabhi went for a regular check up which showed the baby was lagging growth by 3 weeks.  She was advised high protein diet.  Apparently, the ayurvedic medicine she took on a relative's insistence brought her haemoglobin to 7.  I'm not sure what the connection is, but I don't know how can one be so stupid not to keep her doctor in loop about the medicines they take.

Anyway, so she was on bed rest because of lack of protein, iron and high blood pressure.  She went for few more tests the next day, and doctor asked her to get admitted.  She was 7 months pregnant.

While we all tried to think positively, deep down we were all worried.  Next 2 days were crucial.  Her pressure refused to stay normal and doctor decided to bring the baby into the world. 2 months premature.

Here is where another drama unfolds.  Bhabhi's parents get hold of "best timings" for delivery such that the baby would survive.  They also come up with "worst timings" which said the baby was doomed.  They even had the audacity to take it up with the doctor.  Doctor, in a filmy way, said, if I go by your timings, and if anything were to happen to baby and/or mother, would you take responsibility? He then walked away into the operation theatre and went ahead with the surgery.

The baby was immediately moved to the neonatal centre in the city.  No one, except my cousin had seen the baby till now.  The neonatal care people took a photograph for us and that is the photo we have seen.

Every day we prayed for her speedy recovery and quick discharge, because no one wants their baby kept in the hospital.

And then, on her 10th day, doctor called us.

Her heart had stopped beating, and she was on life support.  The 10 day old baby was on life support.

Remember how filmy doctors day it's all in God's hands? The doctor said the exact same words.  "Pray for her life, it's all up to God now."  And we prayed.

I am not sure of the power of alternate healing techniques, but we tried it all. She was not a feotus.  She had already breathed the air we breathe, seen the world, whatever bit she did.  That thing on ventilator was a child.

And after 48 hours, we got the fabulous news that she is taken off ventilator and is stable and reacting well to medication.  The Diwali, was truly a happy one.  The brightest diya on my rangoli this year was for her.

And then, things went smooth.  She was on Kangaroo Care, and started responding well.

Today, after 23 days, she is home. We have to take precautionary care because she would be more prone to infection than even normal infants, but we are glad she is home.

I've not seen her yet. 

ZOMG! I AM GOD!

Now, till I declare myself as God (shh, there is still time for that), for all practical purposes, I am a human being.  And as a human being, my body is bound to have minor ailments.

One of the most common ailments is headache.  Now, the medical expert in me (lulz) tells me that it is because of cold (yea, have this cold thing since childhood) but despite that I like to Google symptoms, since I don't visit the family doctor, mostly because he doesn't think I'm ill. :(

Now, few years back, I discovered the scariest place on the internet.  WebMD.  At first I was amused and fascinated on how many ailments exist in the world and said a little prayer that I don't suffer from them.  But then, I discovered the Symptom Checker.

Every time I get headache, it is usually accompanied with pain in the neck, or back or sometimes pain in the right profile of my face.  Pop in one combiflam and I'm as good as new.  But then, the first time I entered the symptoms, one of the diagnosis that came up was. Paralysis stroke. :|

Enough to scare me at 3 am and leading me to a sleepless night. Or nights.

But then, it kind of became an addiction of sorts.  Just knowing the worst possible scenario and how that I'm not dying immediately gave me a thrill in a way. (shhh, I don't need to see a shrink, not yet)

And then, since past few days, I was having a pain in the right side on the ribs (i think - i am not that great a medical expert, ok?)  It would pain a little every time I'd yawn or take a deep breath.  According to WebMD, I may have fractured a rib, and might be bleeding internally.  In fact, I think (I'm very intuitive that way) I have pulled a muscle while stretching myself, and I think I'm just gonna spray some relispray and sleep well and wake up feeling as good as new. (yeah, my favourite phrase these days is as good as new. ok, not these days, just for this post)

In the mean time, I insist WebMD comes with a warning of sorts, that the diagnosis is not for the faint hearted, because if they are to be believed, I have already died. Twice.

PS: ZOMG. Just realised this is my 100th post! ZOMG. HUGS TO ALL!

On destiny

Things happen for a reason. Okay. I've decided not to try and manipulate.

If things are meant to happen, they will.

I may sound silly for believing in the concept of love and romance, but for someone whose heart still melts at Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, I'm not going to give it up.

Bah. Life was much simpler when I was 2. All I had to do was eat, poop, sleep and burst into peels of laughter every few minutes.

To wait or not to wait

So it has been bothering me all night last night and all day today. But I had exam to write and could not let it come my way. But I have to write now, just send out a message to the universe.

So when you feel that something/someone is just right and pray fervently to god for that to happen, should you go about taking steps to try and make it happen or should you wait for that sign from the universe and see if it will take its own course.

Say you come across someone who you think is perfect for you. Should you go ahead and express your feelings or wait for him to start feeling similarly for you? What if you have never met that person and have known for less than a month? Do you trust your instincts and feel right about it? Or should you be apprehensive in trusting your own heart?

How much longer should you know the person to know that person well enough? My parents still don't know me well enough. Hell, even I don't know myself well enough. Is this criteria even valid before you decide that someone is The One?

I don't know. I'm tired of misreading the signs universe has been sending me. What if this is again one of those times?

For a change, I'd like a clear answer, not signs.