Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Friendship That Was

Disclaimer: I have tried to write the following blog as neutral as possible.

It has been 10 years since perhaps the worst riots broke out in Gujarat.  These riots could be traced back to the 1992/93 riots, which have their roots deeply set in history.  You cannot change history, it has happened, what we could change is the future.  Of course, like everything else, it is easier said than done.

I have always lived in the urban ahmedabad. (heh, yes, such thing does exist)  Lived outside the municipal limits till few years back when they included our area in the municipality.  The real Ahmedabad is the walled city, on the bank of river Sabarmati.  For years, Hindus, Muslims and Jains have lived there, and the area is so communally sensitive (politically motivated or not is secondary) that riots could break out even if a hindu boy cuts a muslim boy's kite during uttarayan.

Today, parents, and cousins and I went to the old city for dinner from the roadside stalls the old city is famous for.  On our way back, dad pointed out to.. for the lack of better politically correct word.. a place where swords and other form of ammunition are allegedly kept.  And if a riot were to break out, within seconds, it would be impossible to get our alive from that lane we were passing through.  And yes, it was so eerily silent, I would actually believe what dad was telling me, though I am sure it was exaggerated.

When we left that lane, dad told me, "... things became so bad, J had to leave Ahmedabad, and that is why he went to Canada."

J was his Muslim colleague in bank, who had a son who was a year older to me, so in 2002 he must be 17 and a daughter, a few years younger to me.  I asked him, oh, but I didn't know they were harassed during the riots.

"No, nothing happened to him", he said and went quiet.

There was silence in the car for a few minutes.  I asked him again, what had happened to J uncle.  And this uncle was someone who had been dad's colleague since almost 20 years.

He thought for a while and recounted how my parents used to visit them on Eid and how J uncle and family would visit us for Diwali. They lived in the "communally sensitive area" of Ahmedabad. His son, S, used to also go to the Madrassa for learning Quran.  And his family was one god fearing family.

2-3 days after the riots broke out, J uncle saw his son run up to their house.  He was out of breath for running in such a hurry.  J uncle got worried.  Everyone lived under the threat for those days, because people (not hindus or muslims) were stabbed and killed and burnt alive.  Anyway, so S ran up to the house, and J uncle visibly worried, asked him if everything was alright with him.  He went to the kitchen and brought out the butcher knife and started for the door.  J uncle asked him where  he was going.  S said, "woh XX jagah pe do logon ko kaatna hai" (at XX place, we have to kill those two people)

J uncle was stunned beyond words.  He could not believe what his son, all of 17, was telling him.  His son, who used to learn the teachings of the Holy Book, and go for Namaaz 5 times a day, and was a bright kid, studying to be an engineer, was talking of killing people.  He had not brought up his son with these ideals.  Neither did the holy book taught him that.  "He was influenced by the company he kept".

J uncle slapped S hard, and the very moment they left their house and moved to his sister's place in another area, and two days later, they moved to Bombay, where they decided they were moving to Canada. For good.

One family had to leave the city they had lived all their lives in.  No one from their family was killed.  None of their property was damaged.  They still long to come back to India.  It has been 10 years now.  Life in Canada is a struggle for them.  But the very thought that this is the same city their teenaged son picked up a weapon with an intention to kill someone shatters them.

Dad tells me J uncle cried like a baby in front of him.  He said, "we used to come to your place for Diwali, and you also know my entire family, but now, it is so painful for me to even look into your eye".  Dad tried to console him, and how S is like his own son too, but J uncle retorted, "but he picked up a knife to kill someone who was like a father or a brother to him too".  Dad had no reply.  While recalling this tale, dad's eyes became a little moist.

How one incident had changed relations forever.

ps - if you do decide to leave comments, please refrain from commenting on Narendra Modi or his role in riots.  I will delete those comments.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Coup ka Prakop

पार्वतीजी और शिवजी कैलास परबत पर बैठे शिवरात्रि की बची हुई भांग मिक्स expire होने से पहले पार्टी देने की बातें कर रहे थे.  अचानक पर्वजीजी बोली, 'स्वामी, यह coup क्या है?'

शिवजी की तीसरी आँख खुलने ही वाली थी और उन्होंने गुस्से में बोला, 'क्या? तुम फिरसे farmville खेलने लगी? मैंने हज़ार बार बोला है की में तुम्हे chicken coup बना कर नहीं देने वाला'.  तभी पार्वतीजी अपने नए iPad को एक ओर रख कर बोली, 'नहीं, नहीं, स्वामी, यह "coup " to आज का Twitter trending topic है.

"अरे, क्या बात कर रही हो?" शिवजी चौंक गए.  "Times of India में तो सिर्फ IPL की Opening Ceremony की चर्चा है. कितनी मस्त लग रही है करीनाजी. ओर प्रियंकाजी की भी काफी अच्छी फोटो छपी है.  आपने देखि, प्रिये?" वे मुस्कुराये.

"और अब क्या करें, इधर The Hindu तो आता ही नहीं है. वोह तो मैं online ही पढ़ लेता हूँ.  सुबह से आप Temple Run खेल रही है, तो मैंने अभी तक पढ़ा नहीं." आज शिवजी कुछ ज्यादा ही मझाकिया mood में है.

"अरे, हमारे घर Indian Express नहीं आता, इसलिए हमें पता नहीं, ज़रा गूगल करके देखते है", पार्वतीजी बोली, ओर मन ही मन में तय किया की आज शिवजी को dinner में maggi noodles ही मिलेंगी.

"स्वामी, कुछ Indian Army की tank की news है.  लेकिन आज कल इस देश की हालत आपने ऐसी कर राखी है की लोगो को कोई भी बात पे गुस्सा आ जाता है" पार्वतीजी बोली.  आप हमारे घर Indian Express क्यूँ नहीं मग्वाते?

शिवजी मुस्कुराये ओर बोले, "प्रिये, जब हमने आपको पूछा था तो आप ही ने तो कहा था की आपको Indian Express ओर Mansarovar Mirror में से Mansarovar Mirror चाहिए.  खैर जब तक वोह विष्णु अपना दसवा अवतार नहीं लेता, यह सब तो चलता रहेगा."


तभी पार्वतीजी की नज़र दुसरे Trending Topic पर पड़ी.  #YouShouldNever वे मुस्कुरायी ओर अपनी Twitter ID, @MrsShiva से एक tweet कर दी, #YouShouldNever troll God.

@ThirdEyeClosed ID से शिवजी ने वोह tweet retweet किया, ओर बोले, 'प्रिये, इस साल गर्मी ज्यादा है, सोचता हूँ AC लगवा दूं, IPL देखने में मज़ा आएगा"

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Nirmal Baba for President

Nirmal Baba is awesome. 

The Baba has a mystical third eye, by which he can sense problem in your life, and all you have to do is, tell him your problem, and he will give the simplest of solutions, like, 'go home, and pray to Lord Krishna' and within 15 days, you will get married.

Now, Babaji has lots of devotees. It is quite surprising, considering, I didn't know of his existence, till I got bored of Sandhi Sudha reruns, and decided to changed channel for greener pastures.  Babaji sits on a simhasan straight out of B. R. Chopra's Mahabharat set.  He sits in a hall full of people, which is aptly, called, a "darbar", and sometimes also referred to as "samagam".

Here, he is giving gyaan on life, death and beyond.  He also gives corporate advice on how everyone needs to be honest and hardworking in their lives.  And of course, if despite your hard work, you are not getting what you deserve, it is just that there was no 'kripa'. Now, not sure what this kripa is, but i'm sure, i don't have it either.  Almost as if reading my mind, he answers the question, how his kripa and his third eye is so powerful, it also helps those who are watching it on TV.  Of course, you need to have a clean heart and open mind for his kripa to work.  The moment, a 'maila khayal' comes to your mind, the kripa stops.  *now i'm wondering if my new herbal essences shampoo can help me clean my khayals too*

Now, suddenly, we have the question answer round.

One 20 something boy stands up and before he could ask, the all powerful Baba got the wind of his problem.  Baba's intuition told him the boy needed a warm suit.  So he asked the boy.  Boy is awestruck, because he did want to buy a jacket.  Baba analyses the situation and asks, when was the last time he got the suit stitched, and how much he paid and where was it stitched.  Baba is sad that the boy got his suit stitched at a baajuwali dukaan and not a big tailor.  Baba says, the kripa on the boy is less because he got his suit stitched at a smaller shop and not at a bigger shop.  And only after that, he asks the boy to ask his question.

In other one, Baba asks a lady in her mid 30s or 40s, Y U NOOO USE SILK SCARVES? :|  And Y U NOOO PUT 200 RUPEES IN BHAIRO MANDIR INSTEAD OF 50 RUPEES? :| dafaq.

In other one, Babaji asks a lady to pay visit to Kalka temple *and* visit a L'Oreal salon. #ok  And one girl praises Babaji how taking his name before exam help her pass, because she had not prepared, but Babaji had given some 'kripa' to her, and she asked for permanent 'kripa' this time.  The girl also saw him in her dream a couple of times (now, if you ask me, if you see a random baba and not Salman Khan in your dream, you really, really need help.  Ok, if not Salman Khan, Ranbir Kapoor or Hrithik Roshan or anyone else, but a random Baba).

How does Baba give his kripa? He waves his hand in a wand like swoosh, and kripa gets passed on to the devotees.  You want to increase money? Carry a black purse, whenever Baba appears on tv, open your black purse facing the tv, his kripa will get passed through the tv, and increase money.
 
Oh, also, while snooping through his facebook page, here is what I found.  Let me attach a screenshot.
See the likes on first and second update, and read the third update in detail.  If that is not creepmax, I don't know what is.  (okay, there are a few other creepmax things too, but whatisthere)


Anyhoo, So, this is the awesomeness called Nirmal Baba.  The way he manages to solve everyone's problem, I don't know why he should not replace Pratibha Patil once her tenure is over.  Maybe till that time, he will even learn how to teleport, and we could save Rs. 205 crores, she spent on her foreign trips.

For more on Babaji, you can like his facebook page here, and follow him on twitter, here. Oh, and details on his next darbar and telecast details, please visit his website here.

At this point, I'm hoping none of the devotee of Babaji burns my effigy.



Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Life

Life is strange. Death is stranger. It's like the mystical world no one knows anything about. Not everyone's life is a bed of roses. What a cliche, that is. Bed of roses.

Everyone has had their share of setbacks. And probably some have even thought of ending their lives to escape it. Sure, it would be easy giving it up and dying. But what comes after that? Isn't the fear of unknown even worse than fear of known?

And then, some want to give it up because some idiot refused to be part of their lives. Sure, I've had my moments when I just wanted to shut myself up in the room and cry myself to sleep. Or not talk to anyone for days. It's just easy to stay in denial than talk about things. Talk it out, they say. But you think it is easy to talk about it without the other person being judgmental about it? They are not the ones who have gone through. Not felt the way you have felt. Easy for them to say that you need to move on.

Of course, I know I need to move on. Yes, yes, there is a beautiful world out there, with people who love me, care for me, my parents, my sister, my friends. They love me, even with the kind of mess I am.

I have, at times, felt like giving all this up, and just walking out of the house. But knew it's not going to work. And taking my own life was not even considered. No one is worth my life.

But amongst these thousand things that are wrong, when my two year old niece tells me, "ninu, I love you", wraps her hand around my finger, and puts her trust in me that I won't let her fall, it seems there is still goodness in the world.

Life is still worth living.