Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Nirmal Baba for President

Nirmal Baba is awesome. 

The Baba has a mystical third eye, by which he can sense problem in your life, and all you have to do is, tell him your problem, and he will give the simplest of solutions, like, 'go home, and pray to Lord Krishna' and within 15 days, you will get married.

Now, Babaji has lots of devotees. It is quite surprising, considering, I didn't know of his existence, till I got bored of Sandhi Sudha reruns, and decided to changed channel for greener pastures.  Babaji sits on a simhasan straight out of B. R. Chopra's Mahabharat set.  He sits in a hall full of people, which is aptly, called, a "darbar", and sometimes also referred to as "samagam".

Here, he is giving gyaan on life, death and beyond.  He also gives corporate advice on how everyone needs to be honest and hardworking in their lives.  And of course, if despite your hard work, you are not getting what you deserve, it is just that there was no 'kripa'. Now, not sure what this kripa is, but i'm sure, i don't have it either.  Almost as if reading my mind, he answers the question, how his kripa and his third eye is so powerful, it also helps those who are watching it on TV.  Of course, you need to have a clean heart and open mind for his kripa to work.  The moment, a 'maila khayal' comes to your mind, the kripa stops.  *now i'm wondering if my new herbal essences shampoo can help me clean my khayals too*

Now, suddenly, we have the question answer round.

One 20 something boy stands up and before he could ask, the all powerful Baba got the wind of his problem.  Baba's intuition told him the boy needed a warm suit.  So he asked the boy.  Boy is awestruck, because he did want to buy a jacket.  Baba analyses the situation and asks, when was the last time he got the suit stitched, and how much he paid and where was it stitched.  Baba is sad that the boy got his suit stitched at a baajuwali dukaan and not a big tailor.  Baba says, the kripa on the boy is less because he got his suit stitched at a smaller shop and not at a bigger shop.  And only after that, he asks the boy to ask his question.

In other one, Baba asks a lady in her mid 30s or 40s, Y U NOOO USE SILK SCARVES? :|  And Y U NOOO PUT 200 RUPEES IN BHAIRO MANDIR INSTEAD OF 50 RUPEES? :| dafaq.

In other one, Babaji asks a lady to pay visit to Kalka temple *and* visit a L'Oreal salon. #ok  And one girl praises Babaji how taking his name before exam help her pass, because she had not prepared, but Babaji had given some 'kripa' to her, and she asked for permanent 'kripa' this time.  The girl also saw him in her dream a couple of times (now, if you ask me, if you see a random baba and not Salman Khan in your dream, you really, really need help.  Ok, if not Salman Khan, Ranbir Kapoor or Hrithik Roshan or anyone else, but a random Baba).

How does Baba give his kripa? He waves his hand in a wand like swoosh, and kripa gets passed on to the devotees.  You want to increase money? Carry a black purse, whenever Baba appears on tv, open your black purse facing the tv, his kripa will get passed through the tv, and increase money.
Oh, also, while snooping through his facebook page, here is what I found.  Let me attach a screenshot.
See the likes on first and second update, and read the third update in detail.  If that is not creepmax, I don't know what is.  (okay, there are a few other creepmax things too, but whatisthere)

Anyhoo, So, this is the awesomeness called Nirmal Baba.  The way he manages to solve everyone's problem, I don't know why he should not replace Pratibha Patil once her tenure is over.  Maybe till that time, he will even learn how to teleport, and we could save Rs. 205 crores, she spent on her foreign trips.

For more on Babaji, you can like his facebook page here, and follow him on twitter, here. Oh, and details on his next darbar and telecast details, please visit his website here.

At this point, I'm hoping none of the devotee of Babaji burns my effigy.


Shiv said...

Baba ki jay ho. You have written aby Baba. Now you will get his kripa.
BTW, Why u no go to Fillim city temple?

Alok Rai said...

really fun to read this hilarious blog may be baba should come to your dream just by watching India TV lol!!.

Nalin Mehra said...

baba....... ba ba. ... black sheep....
hey ur awesome.... thanks gul panag and twitter got to read u.

rajubhakuni said...

nirmal baba makes fool people to collects investment and many may be a part of this racket 20 to 50 people by blame.