Video Blog: Khalnayika

Good afternoon and kiss to all.

Today we Gujaratis celebrate our new year and show how truly secular we are, we dress up like Christmas tree during Diwali.

So.. I played around a little with iMovies and this is my first attempt at clipping and trimming and joining videos, and I am little nervous about this too.  It's a 10 minute long video because I have also incorporated the song in the video.

As I said, I'm still learning, please to be kind and hope you guys like this video.

*heart*

On that note, happy festivities!

Diwali

Last Diwali was the first Diwali in the longest time when I didn't have an exam to prepare for.  First it was school (along with Diwali vacation homework) and then it was Chartered Accountancy exams which would start the day after Diwali, almost always.

Last Diwali I was "relieved".

These post-Diwali exams were usually followed by depressing results in January (which would come after Uttarayan - like really, all the festivals of my life have been ruined by exams.  Maybe I am not too fond of festivals because of these annoying exams).

Today, for the first time, I am happy.

I am happy about Diwali.  I am not stressed about impending exams. (not that I had them last year, but last year I was not used to it - you see, I didn't know how a Diwali without exams felt like.)

This year, I am happy about the festivities.  Even though I don't burst crackers myself (because childhood trauma of burning those snakes always led to throat infection and even now, the smoke has nicely started giving me headache already and really, bombs are stupid and I don't like them and I like the pretty stuff in the sky and I like diyas and I like rangolis.) I actually don't mind people around being happy.

I am okay with the smoke filling my lungs (I am almost sure I'm falling ill tomorrow) because you know what? Diwali comes just once a year.

And I am not moral policing about air pollution and all that, but really, if why not spread cheer instead of whining about things? People *WILL* burst crackers, let them.

Today, when I wished everyone who crossed my path a happy Diwali, there was a genuine smile on their face.

A smile I never saw before.  Mostly because I wouldn't meet people and be holed up in my room studying (browsing internet).

Today, from neighbour uncle (who I can neither confirm nor deny being fond of) to the raddiwala (who addresses my mom as "mummy" - wtf) to watchmen at my office building (yes, working today) to my boss to the steward at Chocolate Room who took our orders to every person I met - I wished them all.  I felt happy. (okay, even whatsapping the wishes to people and/or calling them also made me happy)

Because why not?  How hard is it to smile and wish? How hard is it to spread the cheer? It really doesn't take too much of an effort.

So go ahead - wish the people you care about.  Wish even those you don't care about. It doesn't hurt. :-)

Also, इस दिवाली फुलझरी बने, जलाएं नहीं।

#Universe

"Consider the fact that for 3.8 billion years, a period of time older than the Earth's mountains and rivers and oceans, every one of your forebears on both sides has been attractive enough to find a mate, healthy enough to reproduce, and sufficiently blessed by fate and circumstances to live long enough to do so. Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result -- eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly -- in you."

So, basically, you are reading this blog at this time because you are meant to do it at this time. What does it say about people who walk in and out our lives?

What makes you connect to someone a 1000 or 15000 km away from you? Is there truly a meaning to this madness? Some sense to this chaos we live in?

Do we really not have anything in our control? Or have things happened because they were in our control and we made them happen?

Like, you are reading this blog because you saw the link at the time and you clicked on it - you were meant to be on this page? But at the same time, you were on this page because *I* created it.

What were the forces of universe that got us together at this time?

Should we try to find a meaning - a reason - to why is this happening - or - should we just see how it evolves eventually?

Like, let the fucking universe do its fucking magic?

Btw, if you're listening, universe, for a change, work *FOR* me. Okay?

Video Blog: Deconstructing Songs

Hi!

So I decided to start a video blog.  Because I am kind of awesome like that, and because I have nothing better to do on a Friday evening because I am #ForeverAlone and why not spread the awesomeness around.

Since it is my first entry, please be kind. I know there is a lot of scope for improvement and it doesn't essentially deconstruct the song in the way it should, but mah blog mah rulz.

This is the first song I've decided to deconstruct. Listen to what I have to say.

PS: Did you see the fan behind me?

Moving on and starting over

I think this is what I need to do.  Moving on with life could happen if I just leave this place and start all over.  New place, new people, new job.

Like closing a chapter in my life so I can finally move on to better things.  Not that I'm sad in any way. (well, maybe a little, for all the rejections and abandonments I've had over time, but I'm willing to believe that the 7 1/2 shani dasha just got over and better things are stored in for me.)

How do I go about it, though? I don't even know where to begin my search.  I don't have the courage to quit my job, buy a one way ticket to another country and start over.  I am too scared of not knowing what I'll do, or how will I sustain myself without a job on hand.  Like really, how do you move to a new place and not know how you're going to pay your rent and bills?

The idea is a very romantic one - very filmy.  To be able to do it.

I want to do it.

But I'm realistic in a way.  I need to know there will be some source of finance for me to do that.  So, how does it work!

Also, is there any way to get out of this #foreveralone cycle? Am I that weird that I scare away everyone?

One Is Up For Adoption

That my mother is a lady of multiple talents is known.

She also has an uncanny ability to magically make things appear and disappear at her own will.  There is no other explanation for things to go missing and appearing back into your room.

I have a feeling she counts the number of flowers on each plant in the garden every single day because today she tells me the hibiscus plant had 18 flowers, and one flower had 9 petals (normal petal count is 5).  She said this with so much excitement that I am not sure which one of us is the mother.

Anyway, so last night, a pillow in my room went missing.

You see, I was busy watching CID as my parents went to sleep and I went to my room well past midnight.  I didn't turn on the lights because if I don't see any entities standing near the mirror, ready to spook me, then they don't exist.  I nicely saw an episode of Criminal Minds as I oiled my hair in the darkness.

An hour or so later, I decided to crawl on to the bed and go through askreddit and read myself to sleep.

But as I got on the bed and tried to find the pillow to prop up, I realised the pillow was missing. OMG.

Where is my pillow? It is my protective gear.  I hug it as I sleep.  It also acts as a shield against the early morning sunlight which is reflected off the mirror-ey windows of neighbour's bedroom that is right across from my room.  I don't draw the curtains because if I don't see the sunlight, I will never wake up.

But where is the pillow? Do I look under the bed.. and see if it developed a mind of its own and rolled under?

But then what if I look under the bed and see a couple of pairs of eyes staring at me.  You see, if you don't see them, the others don't exist.  (no, really, I don't quite believe in ghosts, but dude, you never know what's under your bed, ok?)

Somehow I managed to sleep. I had to hug the spare square pillow (missing pillow is a cylindrical shaped one) and it sucked.  And then I woke up as soon as the first ray of light reflected off the neighbour's window.

Oh, no, my pillow.

But where is my pillow?

Maybe the mother would know.

Now that it is morning and she has had her daily dose of adrenaline rush of putting clothes into the washing machine, let me ask if she has any clue what happened to the pillow.

I walk down groggily, even as my father tells me I look like Lalita Pawar this fine morning.

And then as I ask mom, "mummy, where's the blue pillow?"

"Oh, that, I gave it to Mathur," she said matter-of-factly.

Mathur is the raddiwala.

What? Why?

Why give the raddiwala my pillow? MY PILLOW.

"He said mummy, spare pillow ho to dena,"

FIRST OF ALL, MATHUR IS OLDER THAN MY MOTHER.  WHY IS HE CALLING HER MUMMY?

Second of all, WHY IS MY MOTHER GIVING AWAY PILLOWS TO RADDIWALAS WHO CALL HER MUMMY?

OMG.

Nobody loves me.

I am up for adoption.

Anyone willing?