Karma is a bitch.

According to Dictionary.com,

kar·ma

   [kahr-muh]

–noun

1.

Hinduism, Buddhism . action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman. Compare bhakti ( def. 1 ) , jnana.

2.

Theosophy . the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.

3.

fate; destiny.

4.

the good or bad emanations felt to be generated by someone or something.

I have always believed that we are here for a reason. To learn something, to teach something. Everything that happens, every person we meet, there is a reason behind it.

While we cannot blame everything that happens in our current life, shitty jobs, bad boyfriends, in-laws from hell, etc to our deeds of previous life, because that will mean giving in to situation without working towards saving things, a lot of things that happen I'm sure there is a karmic connection to it all.

Perhaps we're at the shitty job so that we value the next job we take. A jerk for a boyfriend will mean that when you break up with him, you know what kind of guy you don't want! It doesn't mean that you have a bad relationship and something bad is happening to you because you've done something bad in your current/previous birth and your karma is catching up on you. Well, at least, not always.

So there are times I wonder why did I come across some people... people who were friends, some more than friends, people I'm related to.. or why did my little cousin have to die at the age of 13, and suffer for over 8 years before she passed away? Why did my aunt have to die at the age of 54, just when everything was finally settling down well for her.. why couldn't she live to see her son marry? She was perhaps the simplest people ever to have taken birth in our family of eccentrics. She did deserve to see and pamper and play with her granddaughter, right? And at the same time, when we all see the super adorable niece, we all just can't help commenting how her habits are just like my aunt's. I know, this kind of comparison is unfair on so many levels. But I think we all say it because we all want to reassure ourselves that the aunt is around, like a guardian angel, looking after the grandchild. Is that also karma?

There are a lot of things I want to write about, but I just can't get myself to talk about it. More so because I am not the kind of person who could easily talk about things. Even to people who are closest to me. Yes, I whine and I complain and get annoyed at my dad and others, and vent it out, but there are a lot more deeper feelings and thoughts that are never spoken about. Perhaps I will never talk about them. It takes a whole deal of courage for me to talk about certain things. Perhaps it is my karma to be the silent listener and observer and lend a patient listening ear to everyone who needs it.

If you are reading this, this post may sound a bit incoherent to you, and you may not exactly get what I'm talking about. I guess, on some levels, even I don't know what I'm talking about. I guess it's just a phase when I talk utter nonsense. :-)

But seriously, if God does exist, and Karma is his idea of getting back at us, let me tell Him that He has a sick sense of humour and His idea #sucks.

I would like to end the post by sending out a small little message across the Universe, which according to Paulo Coelho, is conspiring to give us what we want, that hey, Universe, give me what I want, and no one gets hurt, ok?