Zen essentially means meditating and discovering inner self and generally going on the path of enlightenment. At least that's what I could figure out from whatever wiki article I glimpsed through.
Now, though I'm not exactly going to take that up, I like the ring of the phrase "Zen approach" and so, I'll say that "I'm now going to practice the Zen approach."
So there have been lots of thoughts going on in my mind lately. Though I tend to write and talk about certain things, there are loads of things I don't talk about. It would take me a lot of courage to talk about them, and I always feel that talking about it will not help me in anyway. It is my problem, and only I can find a solution to it. Talking to others, who are not even part of it, will not affect it in anyway. Though when it comes to giving gyaan, I happily tell whoever cares to listen that talking about your problems will help you overcome them. In fact, I even lend an ear and give some super solutions to such problems too.
But my thoughts, my emotions and my feelings are closely guarded secrets. I'd say, only one person has been able to get a partial glimpse of it, and perhaps that was also one of my weak moments. No matter how strong you are, everyone has the tolerance threshold. So I broke down.
Anyway, coming back to the point, as I said, practicing the Zen approach. I've decided I'm going to stop worrying about things, about people and try too hard to make certain things happen.
There are certain things I desperately want to happen. I feel very strongly that these are the right things to happen, and if you want to live your life, you must do everything you can to make sure things happen the way you want. And why not? Is expecting one's own happiness such a selfish thing? And I have tried to make them happen. Gone out of my way, at times, to ensure that certain events happen the way I wish.
Now, when I think of those events, I feel I've been manipulative. How I acted like 'god' and tried to create things. Maybe I was interfering. Which makes me wonder how would have things turned out if I hadn't interfered/intervened. Also, what if my interference was also part of the scheme of the conspiracy of universe? What if.
So now, I've decided I'm going to let things take its own course. Do not interfere in the mysterious ways the universe deals.
If certain things are destined to happen, they will. Let me not spoil my present worrying about uncertain future and trying to make it certain/preplanned.
And I'm not sure about my belief in God. Let's just say, our relationship status is, "it's complicated". So, assuming there is God, let him be the only one who knows the plan, and unfold it as and when He thinks it's fit. Because the more you try to mess with him, the more he will tease you.
Maybe its time I send a friend's request to God. :-)
Que Sera Sera