Open Letter to God

Dear God,

Hi! I'm not sure if I believe in you. I'm not an atheist - but at the same time, I am not sure I am a complete agnostic either! I do want to believe that there is someone up there ensuring that we get what we want when we deserve. Also, it is comforting in a way to have some invisible power in charge of situations when things go out of control.

I am not writing this letter to tell you if I believe in you or not, but I do have some thoughts.. they're quite random and may not be quite coherent, but then, since you are the supreme being, I am sure you'll get what I'm trying to tell you.

I don't want to know the purpose of my life. No, really. I think life is a beautiful mystery and it will unfold itself as and when it has to. The surprises life throws at me may not necessarily be always beautiful, but then, I would rather get them as a surprise instead of knowing that an unpleasant event is to occur in not so near future, and spend sleepless nights trying to avoid it and in turn spoil my present, no?

Yea, so time and again I do get this feeling about what am I doing with my life .. being 25.. pretty aimless and clueless on what way the career is shaping up, of course, non existence of boyfriend :P and my awesome ability of being a creep magnet where the creeps of the male kind make me thank you that I don't have a boyfriend like that. Oh, is that your way to telling me that I should wait for the One to come? You sly creature, you!

Which brings me to signs. So they all talk about the law of attraction.. and how you give us signs.. subtle, sometimes not so subtle signs.. and how we should not let our prejudices blind us from seeing them. Yes, so when you got me introduced to that creep on the Ahmedabad Bangalore flight, who followed me almost till home, I learnt the lesson on how I should keep my mouth shut and stop charming random people I meet. Really, what was I thinking! He was not even cute! :P And even though I say I like surprises, it wouldn't really hurt to know why am I dealing with some people I deal with? Weirdos who've majored in weirdness from the Weirdness university and passed with honours and gold medal! I mean, seriously, what have I done so wrong to deserve them being around? You do realise I am generally a happy person, and the negativity in them makes me wonder how come their brains havent exploded cos of all this bad energy! So, give me some sign, this time a very clear one, on why am I surrounded by them? Why do such freaks enter my life.. ? I definitely didn't attract them!

Also tell me, what's with you and inequal distribution of wealth? I'm not even talking about the extremes here - if being super rich makes you crazy enough to build an ugly structure in bombay worth a few crores, it aint worth it! But then, why did you create money when you knew it would be the root of all evils? The reason for discord between families.. friends.. ? The guilt feeling of being marginally privileged than the people you love? Is this your idea of karma? If it is, then it sucks!

Hmm.. what else.. so tell me how it feels when wars are waged in your name? How does it feel people killing other people because you were supposedly born in a particular region? I don't want to believe that you derive some kind of sadistic pleasure in seeing all this. Also, why the divide? Why couldn't you have been just born as one instead of taking birth as different beings and then expecting people to believe that 'all gods are one'. yeah, right. it's that easy, eh? kuch bhi.

Anyway, I think I've rambled enough, will write again soon.. in the meantime, how about giving me one more surprises in my life! Really, life's been quite boring for sometime now.. I don't know what to answer when people ask me, "what's new?" - so be your awesome self, and give me an answer to that question!

Till then,

You-know-who