Why Should Hazare Mind His Own Business

Dear Anna Hazare,

What's up!? How's your visit to the state going? So I see you are kinda shocked about the degree of corruption in the Land of Gandhi... So about that, I have a few pointers for you.

Corruption is a national problem, along with poverty, unemployment, terrorism, et al. India, as a country is facing a lot of shit from everyone.. I'm not saying that corruption is not an important problem we've to tackle, but dude, it's not the only problem we've to tackle. You need to realise that none of the problems could be solved in isolation - they're all interlinked.

Also, on a personal note, I find your so called 'crusade' against corruption quite superficial. I see your move as coercion and an easy way to get into politics. I would support the cause, but the means to it - fast unto death - is a kind of tantrum I throw when my mom doesn't let me try my hand at baking in her kitchen. So I tell her, she can keep her kitchen and her food, and eat it herself, I will not eat. So after a point, she sees me sulking in my room, comes up my favourite snack and tells me, 'chal, beta, let's bake the cake you want to'. Of course, when she tells me that, what she means is, that 'i'll allow you to enter my kitchen, and you tell me what all ingredients you need, and i'll make it for you, you stand there and watch, because, it's my kitchen, and i don't even allow my own daughter to make it dirty'.

So you see, when that girl offering you lemonade, it's like the central government has done to you what my mom does to me.


See how clueless the girl here looks? You got to be blind to not notice that all this is a whole lot of show to garner publicity.

So while you were fasting, you praised Narendra Modi and how his government should be used as an example for rest of the country to follow. A lot of your *followers* were upset about your comments, because you know, Modi is the modern day Hitler.. and whatever happened in 2002 was nothing short of holocaust, right? Also, the state is so super unsafe that women get raped by policemen or by autodrivers, right? Also, the state highways and the national highways in the state are so lame, with just 6 to 8 lanes, minus the potholes!

Of course, it took you just a month's time to realise that your opinion on Modi was completely wrong and based on false facts provided by the government! The land of Gandhi suddenly turned into the land of scams! Here I do not want to comment on the scams part of it, because really, I do not have that much time and patience to do the research and gather all facts to prove my point, but I do have a problem with calling Gujarat the Land of Gandhi. I agree that Gandhi was perhaps one of the most influential leaders India had, but that just ends there. He was not the only one. And he was definitely not the only one born in Gujarat. Yea, so we time and again use his name for random comparisons, like, "illegal liquor found in the land of Gandhi", or "riots in the land of Gandhi". For once, let me clarify, it is not the land of Gandhi. It is the land of people who live here. Gujarat belongs to all of us, and all of us belong to Gujarat. Stop using Gandhi's name in everything that comes up! How come no one talks the same about "Land of Buddha" when they talk about Bihar (he got enlightened there). How come no analogies are brought in then?

So tell me, were you hallucinating then (because of lack of food) or have you changed your statement now so as to appease your followers? And I thought only twitter users worried about the follower count and became more politically correct when their follower count increases! Oh, or are you expecting to contest elections in 2014?

Anyway, listen, you're old enough to be my grandpa, so I'll not stoop down and insult you, but seriously, try not to get too involved in politics.. you'll never know when you and your name will get used, and all that you ever stood and fought for will go to waste. Keep your dignity intact.

:-)

No hard feelings, ok?

ps - I read you said that you took the 6 wickets, in the 2G scam.. I hope you realise that #SirUMadeLakhs jokes were created months before Hungry Hazare came up, right? As I said, keep your dignity intact.. and stop hallucinating. Really, it helps, #TrueStory