Now if I were buzzfeed, I'd have amazing gifs off the internet or at least picture representation for each of the problems we face. But since I'm not, I'll just use words to express.
I wish buzzfeed picks it up someday and takes this post on their website.
Problems people with short nails will understand.
1. Untangling entangled drawstrings. Especially when your bladder is bursting and you *HAVE* to pee. It's like, your drawstrings will get tangled in the messiest of the knots when there is super emergency because you held your pee because you didn't want to venture into unknown loos in government offices with lizards (and sometimes other unidentifiable creepy crawlies) staring at you when you do your thing.
2. Opening tins/boxes. You do not have claws that can act as your weapon in time of need and rupture other people's body parts. So you cannot open supremely stubborn stainless steel dabbas your mom's kitchen is full of. So you starve.
3. Picking your nose. Now, I know this is gross, but c'mon, who doesn't pick their nose? How else do you clean your nostrils from all the goo that block free flow of air which is essential for your survival? Everyone picks their nose. Some of us even wash our hands clean after the act, but if you have short nails, you cannot go aaaaaallll the way inside your nostril and get that rebellious booger out of your nose. (I've learnt a trick, I snort some water and then blow my nose to get rid of such stubborn boogers - what? I'm giving survival tips.)
4. You cannot use your nails to clean your keyboard off the breadcrumbs which have lodged themselves between two keys. Your only option is to turn your laptop over and pray that the crumb doesn't go all the way inside. Or you know, ants. #nope
5. You cannot rub your nails on surfaces like blackboards and annoy the shit out of people. (while wearing soundproof devices over your own ears of course)
6. Finding the evasive starting point of adhesive tapes (see my posh usage of adhesive tape in place of the brand sellotape? *raises collar*) Anyway, the point is, the ever evasive ends of adhesive tapes are even more difficult to find when you have short nails. Adhesive tapes suck.
7. Scratching that spot on your back which you cannot reach because you don't have 7 inch long nails and you have to find yourself an isolated spot with a rough surface so you can scratch your back and attain nirvana. Usually, the spot where you want to scratch is just 1/2 mm away from where your short nails could reach. Murphy uncle was a wise man.
Now, it is Diwali already and I had started writing this post 3 hours back and I took a few breaks and now I've lost interest because I got distracted.
But I'm gonna post this anyway because why not.
Anyhoo. Happy Diwali, you all. Be good. Send me anonymous gifts and love letters and flowers and everything else you think is moderately creepy. I love getting creeped out. <3 p="">
okbai
I wish buzzfeed picks it up someday and takes this post on their website.
Problems people with short nails will understand.
1. Untangling entangled drawstrings. Especially when your bladder is bursting and you *HAVE* to pee. It's like, your drawstrings will get tangled in the messiest of the knots when there is super emergency because you held your pee because you didn't want to venture into unknown loos in government offices with lizards (and sometimes other unidentifiable creepy crawlies) staring at you when you do your thing.
2. Opening tins/boxes. You do not have claws that can act as your weapon in time of need and rupture other people's body parts. So you cannot open supremely stubborn stainless steel dabbas your mom's kitchen is full of. So you starve.
3. Picking your nose. Now, I know this is gross, but c'mon, who doesn't pick their nose? How else do you clean your nostrils from all the goo that block free flow of air which is essential for your survival? Everyone picks their nose. Some of us even wash our hands clean after the act, but if you have short nails, you cannot go aaaaaallll the way inside your nostril and get that rebellious booger out of your nose. (I've learnt a trick, I snort some water and then blow my nose to get rid of such stubborn boogers - what? I'm giving survival tips.)
4. You cannot use your nails to clean your keyboard off the breadcrumbs which have lodged themselves between two keys. Your only option is to turn your laptop over and pray that the crumb doesn't go all the way inside. Or you know, ants. #nope
5. You cannot rub your nails on surfaces like blackboards and annoy the shit out of people. (while wearing soundproof devices over your own ears of course)
6. Finding the evasive starting point of adhesive tapes (see my posh usage of adhesive tape in place of the brand sellotape? *raises collar*) Anyway, the point is, the ever evasive ends of adhesive tapes are even more difficult to find when you have short nails. Adhesive tapes suck.
7. Scratching that spot on your back which you cannot reach because you don't have 7 inch long nails and you have to find yourself an isolated spot with a rough surface so you can scratch your back and attain nirvana. Usually, the spot where you want to scratch is just 1/2 mm away from where your short nails could reach. Murphy uncle was a wise man.
Now, it is Diwali already and I had started writing this post 3 hours back and I took a few breaks and now I've lost interest because I got distracted.
But I'm gonna post this anyway because why not.
Anyhoo. Happy Diwali, you all. Be good. Send me anonymous gifts and love letters and flowers and everything else you think is moderately creepy. I love getting creeped out. <3 p="">
okbai
2 comments:
For some years I have been growing my nails longer to have that perfect manicured hand look. Sometimes I do get irritated & cut them to size. And then I realise how longer nails are a boon for fat fingers when I need to type on my phone. :P
For some years I have been growing my nails longer to have that perfect manicured hand look. Sometimes I do get irritated & cut them to size. And then I realise how longer nails are a boon for fat fingers when I need to type on my phone. :P
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