Thursday, September 13, 2012

When things are just not right

So I am back with an emo post which basically is full of incoherent and repetitive thoughts.

Sometimes, I don't really have a reason why I'm feeling sad/upset.  It could be the weather, or my faith in being in denial could be shaking.  It usually lasts for a few hours before I am back to being my usual self, spreading happiness around. #Lulz.

I sometimes also like to believe in fate/destiny, and that you meet the people you meet for a reason.  It could also be the staple diet of hindi movies that I have grown up in that could've led me for my unwavering faith in destiny.  But, is it a wrong thing to do? But then, most of the people I've met are through the virtual world of internet.  And they are wonderful people.

Some I've met in real life too, and some are still just a Gtalk id or Twitter handle.  Some have become great friends too. 

But what hurts me sometimes is that while I consider them real people, and start liking them genuinely (not necessarily in the romantic sort of way), for them, I don't really matter. 

And I don't blame them either - it's a virtual world after all. And it is completely my fault when I believe them that they will be around when I need to talk.  Maybe they even mean it.  But being the stubborn person that I am, I will never talk about things bothering me, unless someone is being persistent about it.  And I guess, the lack of physical proximity adds to the heartache.

That I feel hurt/jealous/sad by what people I've known through internet do or don't know shows I am paving my own way for sadness.

It is time I stop getting intimate with people.  Let me build an imaginary wall even for people in the virtual world. I don't want to get upset over actions of people for whom I don't really matter. (and it's not even their fault - it is totally my fault)



Amy B. said...

You sound so very much like me. You're not alone- I guess that's what I came here to say.

Mirchi Laddoo said...

Ditto!!! I never understood categorization of friends...But apparently everyone has their own categories & virtual friends are more or less like imaginary friends :-|

Reshma said...

And then, there are people like me...I just don't know how to express my love, admiration, genuine liking for any of my friends, real or virtual. I just do my best, to catch up with them whenever I am near them & inspire them to meet up, when they are in town.

Touched by this post..

Preeti Venkateshan said...

I can so totally relate with you... seems like hey this happens to me too.. lovely post :)