Sur Kshetra

When I was a little girl, I wanted to participate in Close-up Antakshari where the only constant variable was Annu Kapoor.  (Kids these days won't even know who Annu Kapoor is *shakes my head*)

Even as a child I was obsessed with reading the credits.  One name that featured constantly in Antakshari (and later Sa Re Ga Ma - man, Sonu Nigam looked like anorexic Falguni Pathak) was Gajendra Singh.

Why is this trivia important? Because, today while everyone else was having a life on a Saturday evening, I was home flipping channels and came across this show, "Sur Kshetra", which was conceived and directed and etc by Gajendra Singh.

Few things I noticed about this show:

1.  Annu Kapoor (and his female co-hosts) were replaced by Ayesha Takia, jo akele hi apne mazboot erm.. *cough* kandho *cough* pe is show ka bojh uthathi hai. Today she was wearing something in bubblegum pink colour which was all the way till her toes, and her heels seemed to be transparent, so she was like lady Yudhishthir, walking 4 fingers above ground, almost in air. *applause*

2.  So basically, the show is like a yudh of songs/singing between India and Pakistan, where Indian teams's captain is Himesh Reshammiya (JAIMATADILETZROCK) and Pakistani team's captain is Atif Aslam.  #AtifAslamIsHot

3.  I am not sure how the show progresses, because I don't think I'm gonna follow it (one time watch was also too much #AtifAslamIsHot) but one thing I can tell you, the participants are better singer than Indian Idol contestants. (even I can sing better than Indian Idol contestants and I am besuri even in chorus).

4.  Indian Idol se yaad aaya, Asha Tai is also a judge (?) or some sort of umpire on this show, along with Abida Parveen and Runa Laila.  (I must admit I had to google to find out Runa Laila's name.  Apparently she's from Bangladesh - guess she's the third umpire, then) Also, #AtifAslamIsHot

5.  So this show is part of the Aman Ki Asha thingy, where we are trying to talk about peace between the two countries - India and Pakistan.  Of course, music knows no boundaries, and 80% of songs on iPods on India come from songs.pk, what better than a music reality/talent show to show how we love each other.

6. Now, each contestant comes and promises to win the show, and how Insha'Allah jeet will be of their country, and in between Himeshbhai pouts (somebody give him a chapstick already - or ask him to keep his lips hydrated) and growls how this is war.  Quite an irony, considering the theme is peace. But, #AtifAslamIsHot

7.  Now, Asha Tai, seriously? WHAI? if a contestant sings her song, she will immediately give her own performance after that, just to steal the contestant's thunder. Matlab, why? And she has anecdotes about her sister all the time.  Even I have an elder sister, do you see me talk about her all the time? No. #AtifAslamIsHot

8. Abida Parveen.  I love her hair.  They are so curly and fluffy, I bet she doesn't use a pillow while sleeping.  Listen, I don't know much about her songs - so if you want to know, google, or youtube, or songs.pk. k.

9.  And one thing that caught my eye was, how everyone was busy telling the person from the other country how we love each other.   Okay, so we all have idiots and awesome people in both the countries (I'm not even talking about Bangladesh because, hey, Runa Laila is only the third umpire, not a participant, and is usually quiet whenever India vs Pakistan debate comes up)  Atif Aslam, who is hot, tells everyone how everyone in Pakistan loves Indians, and how Pakistanis have a huge heart and all.  And then Asha tai quips how India has always been kind and generous for Pakistani artists.  Of the 1.5 hours, 2 hours are spent talking how both the countries are awesome and how we all want peace. Maybe we should just post Asha tai and her sister and all these people on the border and make them sing.  Or probably convert the border to miniature cricket stadiums.  Or both. Because obviously, talking has failed. Anyhoo, #AtifAslamIsHot

10.  All this is okay, but when is Ajmal Kasab going to be hanged?

#AtifAslamIsHot

When things are just not right

So I am back with an emo post which basically is full of incoherent and repetitive thoughts.

Sometimes, I don't really have a reason why I'm feeling sad/upset.  It could be the weather, or my faith in being in denial could be shaking.  It usually lasts for a few hours before I am back to being my usual self, spreading happiness around. #Lulz.

I sometimes also like to believe in fate/destiny, and that you meet the people you meet for a reason.  It could also be the staple diet of hindi movies that I have grown up in that could've led me for my unwavering faith in destiny.  But, is it a wrong thing to do? But then, most of the people I've met are through the virtual world of internet.  And they are wonderful people.

Some I've met in real life too, and some are still just a Gtalk id or Twitter handle.  Some have become great friends too. 

But what hurts me sometimes is that while I consider them real people, and start liking them genuinely (not necessarily in the romantic sort of way), for them, I don't really matter. 

And I don't blame them either - it's a virtual world after all. And it is completely my fault when I believe them that they will be around when I need to talk.  Maybe they even mean it.  But being the stubborn person that I am, I will never talk about things bothering me, unless someone is being persistent about it.  And I guess, the lack of physical proximity adds to the heartache.

That I feel hurt/jealous/sad by what people I've known through internet do or don't know shows I am paving my own way for sadness.

It is time I stop getting intimate with people.  Let me build an imaginary wall even for people in the virtual world. I don't want to get upset over actions of people for whom I don't really matter. (and it's not even their fault - it is totally my fault)

okbye.

I apologise

We do all kinds of stupid things when we are in school without usually thinking of the consequences.

One of the things I did was "tease" my friend, let's call her P with this guy, M.  I am not proud of those things, but it's a teenage phase and you just do such things.

While doing that, I used to mimic M's voice and call out P's name.  Everyone thought it was incredibly funny and I kept doing it so much that every time M would pass by, P would burst into laughter.  I always had a goofy smile stuck on my face all the time anyway, so anyone could mistake me for laughing at them.

I think it made M feel really bad, but the damage was done.  I got over the teasing bit, but others kept teasing P with M for years.

This was way back in 1998/99.  It has been over a decade and the guilt has not left me.  I have never been able to meet M's eyes.  As fate would have it, we were in same college, and were together during some part of Chartered Accountancy bit, but I would hang out with complete strangers or be by myself, but never approach him or acknowledge his presence.  The guilt of being a sort of "bully" was weighing down on me.

Today, he came up as "People you may know" option on Facebook.  We have 15 common friends. 

And then I did something which took a lot of courage.  I sent him a message on Facebook asking him to forgive me.  I apologised for being mean to him in school, because deep down I know that if I remember being mean, I am sure he remembered that I was mean to him.  I was a silly kid back then, and surely I deserve a chance to sleep with having one person less hating me.

He may circulate the mail amongst the common people we know and have a good laugh.  Yes, I am insecure and scared of being ridiculed, but deep down, I know I did the right thing. 

I don't expect us to become the best of friends.  Hell, we may not even become friends, but I feel incredibly lighter today. 

I hope someday, M reads this and realises I didn't mean any harm.