Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Nirwa4PM

Dear People of India,

This is with respect to the current political scenario which has been bothering us for a while now.  With 2014 elections 2 years away, who will become the Prime Minister is the question everyone has been asking.  Will it be Narendra Modi vs Rahul Gandhi? What will happen to the ambitions of Sushma Swaraj? Will L. K. Advani again put himself up as one of the candidates? Last question is the nightmare which gives me sleepless nights.

Hence, to put an end to the all consuming question, let me take this opportunity to declare my candidature for the CEO of the great country that is India.

Please find attached herewith my resume for your kind perusal. 

Objective:

I, Nirwa Mehta, will swear in the name of God/solemnly affirm that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the Constitution of India as by law established, that I will uphold the sovereignty and integrity of India, that I will faithfully and conscientiously discharge my duties as Prime Minister for the Union and that I will do right to all manner of people in accordance with the Constitution and the law, without fear or favour, affection or ill-will.

I, Nirwa Mehta, will swear in the name of God/solemnly affirm that I will not directly or indirectly communicate or reveal to any person or persons any matter which shall be brought under my consideration or shall become known to me as Prime Minister for the Union except as may be required for the due discharge of my duties as such Minister.

Educational Qualifications: I am soon going to be a qualified Chartered Accountant.  Having interned in one of the Big Four auditing and assurance firms, I know how accounts are cooked.  I also know how country's accounts are cooked.  It's time we clean up the mess in the kitchen. (I also love wordplay)


I am also a partly qualified lawyer, but I believe bookish knowledge is bullshit, and zindagi ke paath, koi kitaab nahin padhaati.


Work Experience:
  • I have been active on Twitter even before the first Indian on Twitter created the account.
  • I have successfully managed to spread awareness about the colours of Indian National Flag amongst the ignorant journalists.  One Goose thought it is Orange instead of Saffron. *smirks*
  • Wrote letters to people of prominence in politics, like Narendra Modi and Shashi Tharoor and got them to call me and answer my questions about the fate of the Nation.  I not only make noise, I also get people to answer my questions.
  • I come from the Land of Gandhi (Mahatma, not Rahul) and Modi (Narendra, not Lalit) and have the best of both their values. I know I can successfully lead the nation to progress with my amazing administrative skills coupled with my belief in non-violence and truth.  What more, the the residential colony where I live is also called "Satyagraha Chhawani".   I was born to be awesome.
  • I've never been the heir apparent.  I've only had apparent hair.  Ok, that does not make sense, but I want to say, the post of the Prime Minister is not a khaandaani parampara.  I'd rather get khaandaani kangan when I get married, but that's that. I have *earned* this post, because I'm awesome that way.
  • I am not afraid to take a stand on matters pertaining to national importance.  That means, I am not afraid tell everyone I'm awesome. And that I'm cute.  ♥_♥
  • The only Italian I like is food.
Personal Details:

Name: Nirwa Mehta
DoB: 4th February, 1986 (I love surprise gifts)
Nationality: Indian

Hence, dear people of the great nation called India, do consider my candidature for the post of the Prime Minister and follow the campaign on Twitter with the hashtag #Nirwa4PM

So, vote for me, because even my Mom thinks so.

♥_♥

ps - the objective is the Oath for the post of the Prime Minister, copied from Wikipedia.  Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy, Aaja Aaja Aaja. \m/

Inspired by conversation with @realslimswamy

10 comments:

Tanzila said...

you have my vote!

rohanabstractedly said...

Haha... excellant piece!!

Voted for you. :)

Shiv said...

My an-condeeshonal saw-port to you:-)
I will vote too.

Atul Prakash Trivedi said...

Done

Abhishek Ojha said...

are you looking for a cabinet minister? Rajya sabha membership plz, I can not fight an election :)
I am also happy with planning commission.. if not, I can also consider RBI... umm.. president will also do. okay.. Governer of a state with most beautiful raj bhavan ! :)
You have my vote !

Nirwa Mehta said...

I thank you all for the support.

You all are good citizens.

Reshma said...

I vote ! :)

kaushals said...

__/\__

Bubblegum.... said...

Awesome. Do you need a bodyguard?? I reside very much close to you when in Ahmedabad. :D :D

Urvish J. said...

u conveniently forgot to pass the court of Arnab Goswami! anyways, my vote for sure :P