Cooking Lessons 1

So I decided to make Rajma for dinner tonight. You can easily find out the recipe from the internet and so I am not going to repeat it here. Also, I've altered it a bit because I forgot the sequence of ingredients to be put into the pan, but then again, since it turned out to be awesome, I concluded that I am definitely a good cook.

But as they say, everyday there is a new lesson to be learnt. I have learnt a few things today. No, none of that learnn from water how to blend into surroundings and learn from mustard seeds how to be small but powerful. No, none of this school assembly shit. What I have actually learnt are some awesomely important lessons, like :

1. It is insanely difficult to get rid of garlic smell from your fingers. Wash your hands repeatedly with dettol to get rid of the smell. Your hands will smell all hospital-y, but at least, you wont smell of garlic.

2. Crushing green chillies, garlic and ginger together is an awesome idea. But after using your hands to clear off the mixture, wash your hands thoroughly (read repeatedly with dettol) before rubbing your eyes with the same fingers. Trust me, you do not want to experience that. ow.

3. Always have your mom nearby. Only she knows where the ingredients are. So when you run out of some masala in the middle of your cooking, refill is just a yell away. Mothers are also a peculiar character. They have this feeling of ownership to the kitchen and feel threatened by your presence in the kitchen, and may try all sort of tactics to discourage you, be strong. You are up against a powerful force, but patience is all that is needed. Remember, you might be in her place someday.

Thats all in the cooking class today, more later! :D I'm going off to gobble down what I've cooked :D

Navratri Blah Blah

So the festival season is on. I am one of those loserly persons who doesn't find the festivals exciting. For me, festivals mean crazy traffic even at midnight, excessive use of loud speakers which play lame filmy songs, giant insects which appear out of nowhere to find their way right inside your clothes even before you have time to react, and basically, too much chaos.

Now a lot of people love this chaos of Navratri. Those who like all this madness wait for the whole year just so they can dance themselves silly in these 9 nights. For a lot of people they not only match steps during these nights, but also end up finding their match! When we were in school, our crazy principals used to give us lectures and Dos and Don'ts during Navratri. One of their favourite gyaanline was "Your dancing partner is not your life partner". Whenever she would utter these pearls of wisdom, the 14 year olds would giggle. Sigh.

Also, it is eve teasers haven. On seeing pretty women in backless cholis they all feel that htey have died and reached heaven. But in Amdavad, I think the eve teasers aren't bold enough to go on a groping rampage. Not taht I am complaining.

But somehow, getting dressed up is just not me. I hate to put my feet in the grass/ground because, well, they get dirty, and I don't like that feeling. I don't like the jewellery. The necklaces and all - they kind of suffocate me. So, I am the kind of person who wouuld prefer doing garba in trackpants and t-shirt, wearing sneakers (with socks).

But, having said that, I would really like to go out for a midnight drive, have a cup of chai and maska bun, or go to manekchowk in the old city and have their pav bhaji and experience teh vibrancy of the place at midnight.

So, anyone out there in Ahmedabad? :)

Open Letter to Rahul Gandhi

Dear Rahul Gandhi,

How are you? Let me first compliment you. You are one of the few good looking politicians of our country - there I feel so much better now! :D

Though its a different thing that you are a politician by default because of the surname you have, and you also chose to be with Congress. What has happened to your cousin, Varun is quite depressing because he was a silly boy. He got into wrong party at a wrong time. Because, if you look at it, you both have such big mouths that you could put both your feet into your mouth and still have enough space to accomodate this too

Anyhoo. Now, I understand that Narendra Modi isn't one of your favourite persons in the world, and trust me, the feeling must be mutual. But you have to accept that that man can beat you in debate anyday.

But next time you say something like calling Rashtriya Samajsewa Sangh, fanatic organisation like SIMI (not to be mistaken for Simi Garewal - hehe), you'd better do some research to save yourself the embarrassment. Not that I am an RSS supporter or even care two hoots about them.

All I am saying is, that if you want to be popular in Gujarat, you'll have to try new tricks. You cannot point fingers at Narendra Modi and get away with that - people here love him way too much than a lot of people who hate him. Bet half the people come to the gatherings you address only to see how you look like in person. Not necessarily because they support you. Like c'mon, even I would attend your public address only to see if you are half as good looking as you are in your photographs! :D

Because, trust me, going by the history of congress leaders in Gujarat, people would rather go for a crazy Hindu motormouth leader than people like Shankarsinh Vaghela, who was also a part of BJP once, but I aint a big fan of him.

Gujarat has not had a stable Congress CM since 95 onwards, of which 9 years Gujarat has been ruled by Narendra Modi. One of the few people to hold a stable government. So, you cannot beat his popularity. Putting him down will only be a point in his favour.

To win hearts in Gujarat, you dont need to put others down - or tell what you will do - but for a change, let people do good, and also be generally nice. Yes, I know Modi can get too much at times, and his comebacks are quite tempting, but do learn the pranayam technique of breathing - you'll feel better. :)

Oh, and next time you visit Ahmedabad, how about giving me a call? :D I can give you so much more gyaan then! :D

Till then,

Good luck,

Nirwa Mehta,

Ahmedabad

Bigg Boss Season 4

One of the prime reasons for me to watch Bigg Boss is Salman Khan - that's because - the guy does not know the existence of the word "politically correct". Whether his scripts are scripted or not, he comes across very spontaneous and awesomely adorable.

Now, I have always maintained that the season one participants were the best - because of obvious reasons. Rakhi Sawant created a new God called Jhejhus and her super drama when some guy ground garlic in her tea mug. The way she rolled over the floor crying makes me smile whenever I am in a sad situation. :P Needless to say, I have actively followed her show - Rakhi Ka Swayamvar and I was so inpired that I thought of having my own swayamvar too - that wouldn't be such a bad idea! I mean, if douchebags like Rakhi and Rahul Mahajan can have contenders willing to marry them, I am sure I will find someone too. Now, that would be so awesome. I digress.

So coming back to Bigg Boss season four. My immediate thoughts on the show are like this:

1. I have become a fan of Seema Parihar. I mean, she is a formar daaku. How many of us have seen a daaku before? And I would be actually scared to be around her - she does look menacing. Oh, and the way her eyes looked around whever people nominated her - my god, bet even Rahul Bhatt pissed in his pants! And all those who've nominated her - they think she will not come out adn see the episodes? Dude, they are all dead now! :P

2. Ashmit Patel is here to clear his name from the MMS scandal. Yeah, right. And he says that 'woh mera pyaar thi'. Double, yeah, right. Btw, Manoj Tiwari, you fool, the woman in question was Riya Sen, aka Donald Duck of Indian Cinema. As salman rightly pointed out, he cried. The very first day, and everyone around consoled him. Retards, all of them.

3. That lawyer dude. Now, he is Kasab's lawyer and states clearly that the court had appointed him. Thinks he's the wisest of everyone present and acts like the grand daddy of them all. Next week, its his turn to go out.

4. Davinder Singh aka bunty chor - oye lucky, lucky oye! right, with all the abuses he hurled towards BB4, he is evicted. I think he was just scandalised that he would have to live with Seema Parihar and that Begam man/woman and that scared the shit out of him and chose this way to get out of the place before he goes mad.

5. Rahul Bhatt - I have saved the best for the last. Last year, my favourite contestant was Kamal R Khan, the Deshdrohi superhero. For obvious reasons - he was the only entertaining person around. And the fact that he even enacted some of his movie scenes so sincerly shows how he geniunely thinks he is awesome. Rahul Bhatt, I would say, is the muscular version of KRK. He also is the missing link between apes and humans. Those bulging muscles - ew, so so so gross! I am almost tempted to go and pierce a needle to see if he deflates! Or next year, at IPL, instead of MRF Blimp, we could float Rahul Bhatt. I can totally see that Rahul will showoff his dudeness by roaming around the house topless to show off his muscles, which he obviously thinks are sexy. *pukes*

In other news, the commonwealth games opening ceremony was awesome - much pride came when the indian contingent walked in the stadium, cheered adn clapped loudly even when i was alone! :D And kalmadi - is it just me or anyone else also think that he address delhi CM as Mr. Sheila Dixit? :P And I am not even mentioning Abdul Kalam Azad here. Oh, and the pinky pink Prince Charles and the expressionless prez and MMS.

Anyhoo - more fun to be coming over the next 3 months till BB4 is on! :) More updates, later!