#Modi4CM

The only drama happening in Gujarat these days is the upcoming Legislative Assembly elections.  Today on my way home from an aunt's place I saw men, who looked like commandos, carrying rifles, casually taking a stroll on one of the busiest road of Ahmedabad.

Gujarat is on high alert, not just because of terror threats, but also because election has created a war-like scenario. It's a scary sight, though.

Like any other self respecting Gujarati, I have my view on the elections too.  I'm not saying who should win, but I desperately hope and pray that neither Congress nor the farce called Gujarat Parivartan Party win.  I don't know which one is better, but I do know I want to choose the lesser of the two evils.

Now, I'm not sure how much of what I write could get me into trouble, and I am sure if I get arrested under section 66A, my father is not going to bail me out, because I kept threatening that I'm not going to vote for Modi.  And I don't want to go to jail. :(

But few things wrong and right about the elections:

1.  Gujarat Parivartan Party's symbol is a bat. A cricket bat.  It's funny because when Keshubhai Patel loses, I hope Trash of Ind.. errr. Times of India publishes the headline, "Keshubhai out for a duck"

2.  Talking of Keshubhai Patel, the biggest problem of Gujarat Parivartan Party is that the face of the party is Keshubhai Patel. (please don't get me arrested, I'm cute)

3.  BJP rebels have joined Congress, Congress rebels have joined BJP and BJP and Congress rejects have joined Gujarat Parivartan Party. 

4.  While Madam is taking her own time to decide who is the Chief Minister candidate for Congress, the people in Congress are fighting a battle of their own.  Some bigwigs like Narhari Amin are not given tickets, and the disgruntled dude refuses to campaign for Congress anymore.  And that's not it, the party is so badly divided, we don't know who face of Congress is.  (which is funny, because even Gujarat Parivartan Party has Keshubhai Patel even though it is the funniest thing about the elections) I say why wait for 2014, bring Rahul Gandhi now! :D

5.  While BJP advertisements are focusing on what they have done in last 10 years, Congress ads are focusing on BJP ads and making fun.  Basically, Congress is acting like the standup comics on Twitter - mocking everything, without any content. Here I will choose to not even mention Gujarat Parivartan Party ad.

Anyway, I'm not sure how much more I can write without getting arrested. (dude, seriously, even though the Satellite Police Station is all ISO certified and all that shit, I don't want to spend nights in a lockup - who will come to bail me out?)

So, I'll end it here, and just hope that 20th December comes soon and the nation can move on to new topics.

And I can prepare a roadmap for my 2014 campaign.  I hope you all vote for me.

#Modi4CM and #Nirwa4PM

Open Letter to Rahul Gandhi

Dear Rahul Gandhi,

How are you? Let me first compliment you. You are one of the few good looking politicians of our country - there I feel so much better now! :D

Though its a different thing that you are a politician by default because of the surname you have, and you also chose to be with Congress. What has happened to your cousin, Varun is quite depressing because he was a silly boy. He got into wrong party at a wrong time. Because, if you look at it, you both have such big mouths that you could put both your feet into your mouth and still have enough space to accomodate this too

Anyhoo. Now, I understand that Narendra Modi isn't one of your favourite persons in the world, and trust me, the feeling must be mutual. But you have to accept that that man can beat you in debate anyday.

But next time you say something like calling Rashtriya Samajsewa Sangh, fanatic organisation like SIMI (not to be mistaken for Simi Garewal - hehe), you'd better do some research to save yourself the embarrassment. Not that I am an RSS supporter or even care two hoots about them.

All I am saying is, that if you want to be popular in Gujarat, you'll have to try new tricks. You cannot point fingers at Narendra Modi and get away with that - people here love him way too much than a lot of people who hate him. Bet half the people come to the gatherings you address only to see how you look like in person. Not necessarily because they support you. Like c'mon, even I would attend your public address only to see if you are half as good looking as you are in your photographs! :D

Because, trust me, going by the history of congress leaders in Gujarat, people would rather go for a crazy Hindu motormouth leader than people like Shankarsinh Vaghela, who was also a part of BJP once, but I aint a big fan of him.

Gujarat has not had a stable Congress CM since 95 onwards, of which 9 years Gujarat has been ruled by Narendra Modi. One of the few people to hold a stable government. So, you cannot beat his popularity. Putting him down will only be a point in his favour.

To win hearts in Gujarat, you dont need to put others down - or tell what you will do - but for a change, let people do good, and also be generally nice. Yes, I know Modi can get too much at times, and his comebacks are quite tempting, but do learn the pranayam technique of breathing - you'll feel better. :)

Oh, and next time you visit Ahmedabad, how about giving me a call? :D I can give you so much more gyaan then! :D

Till then,

Good luck,

Nirwa Mehta,

Ahmedabad