Samudra Manthan : Live Tweet

Disclaimer: The post below is to be taken in good humour, and no offense meant to your religious beliefs. कृपया हमारा पुतला जलाये नहीं.

Once upon a time, Devas and Asuras, decide to churn the mighty ocean and solve once and for all the matter of supremacy.

Jesus, I see your turning water into wine, and raise churning of ocean with a mountain named Mandar acting as the churning rod and a snake, Vasuki acting as the churning rope.  Of course, once mountain started sinking, Vishnu takes form of a Turtle, Kurma and supports the mountain.

What if the Samudra Manthan happened during the times of Twitter?  What if they live-tweeted the event?  It will probably look like this:

@IndraRockz:  Abeyaar, this @D4Durvasa is way too sensitive. Only because of him we have to now churn the ocean.

@D4Durvasa: @IndraRockz #lulz

@MtMandar: Yo, @Vasuki, mount me. #IAmDecent

@Vasuki: *hiss*

@DevasRulez: We have checked into @MtMandar with @_Asuras_ 4sq.com/Mandar Let the churning begin. *dibs on holding the tail of @Vasuki*

@MtMandar: Whoa, luks lyk u r njoing a lot, here, take this #Halahal

@DevasRulez: We're not taking #Halahal

@_Asuras_: neither are we, cc. @Vishnu RT @DevasRulez: We're not taking #Halahal

@Vishnu: @_Asuras_ @DevasRulez wait yougaiz, let me ask @ShivasRegal for help, he's awesome that way.

@ShivasRegal: @Vishnu Y U NOOO TRY SOME YOURSELF?

@Vishnu: @ShivasRegal Poda.

@ShivasRegal: @Vishnu Okfiiiine. Give me #Halahal on the rocks.

@Paro: @ShivasRegal Swamy pls, don't drink too much.

@ShivasRegal: @Paro If you say so, darling, not a drop will go down the throat.

@ShivasRegal: ZOMG. MY THROAT IS TURNING BLUE! #HumAwesomeHai

@Paro ♥ @ShivasRegal: ZOMG. MY THROAT IS TURNING BLUE! #HumAwesomeHai

@Vasuki: Yougaiz, are you gonna keep churning or should I go home now? *hissss*

@_Asuras_ @Vasuki Abeyaar, when did you last brush your fangs? 

@_Asuras_: Whoa! Look at all these awesome things coming out! *dibs on Varuni - all booze on the house* *shows thenga to @Sujej*

@Vishnu: Yo, Lakshmi, #comeoffraa

@DevasRules: Heh, *dibs on the Apsaras*

@Vishnu: I'm taking Kamdhenu, so that years later, her progeny can roam on the streets of India laying fresh warm dung. ♥

@IndraRockz: I think elephants are cute, Airu, come to me.

@_Asuras_: WHOA! 7 headed horse! HOW COOL IS THAT! Uchhaishravas, you come with us.

@Vishnu: I love shiny objects, I'm taking the jewels.

@DevasRules: Parijat tree comes with us, Our wives love the smell.

@Vishnu: Here, @ShivasRegal, Y U NOOO KEEP THIS MOON AS A TOKEN OF OUR APPRECIATION FOR DRINKING THE ALL DESTRUCTIVE POISON?

@DrDhanvantari: I HAVE ARRIVED! *looks lovingly at pot of Amrut*


After this, no one live tweeted the event because they all got busy fighting it off on who will drink the nectar of immortality? So Garuda came and took off with the kumbha (pot) and very cleverly dropped 4 drops at 4 different places, so that Kumbh Mela could be held every 12 years and could act as wonderful background story for zillion Hindi movies.

(The above post is inspired from @mishrashiv's absolutely hilarious blog in Hindi. The references of Samudra Manthan taken from it's Wikipedia page. )